I SO hear ya on not wanting to cook or exercise! I, too, am quite the lazy bum I hate exercising (still do), but I know it is essential, so I make time. I have been working 2 jobs for months now: my full-time job is Mon-Fri from 6am-2pm, and my part-time job has been Mon-Thurs from 4pm-around 10pm. So when on earth am I supposed to squish exercise in? That's right--in between jobs! I go to the gym and do 30 minutes on the elliptical between jobs at least 3 times a week (sometimes 4). Honestly, honey, if I can find the time and energy, so can you! I hate doing it--I hate getting sweaty, I hate getting tired, and I would rather take the time to relax between jobs, but no, part of being HEALTHIER (not just thinner) is getting regular exercise, so I do it whether I like it or not. The results are SO worth it!

As for food, you can see I also have no time to cook. At first, I was buying microwavable meals, but I now avoid those because they are packed with sodium which is not good for blood pressure or water retention. Instead, I cook on one day during the weekend. I make big batches of stuff and separate it out into little Gladware containers and toss in te fridge or freezer to grab when I leave for work in the morning. So simple! 1 day of cooking a week usually supplies me with a little more than a week's worth of food. Not a bad compromise. I do things like whole-grain pasta with tomato sauce, chicken and veggie stir-fry with brown rice, salads, sandwiches--whatever I feel like making and know I will eat. I also keep lots of fruit in single-serving containers to grab as snacks (things like pineapple and watermelon I cut up on my cooking day, also). I used to be a fast-food junkie, but now I eat fast food maybe once a month, if that. Plus, when I eat it now, the grease upsets my stomach, so I'm even more motivated to steer clear. Have you ever seen "Super Size Me?" If not, you may want to check it out--totally changed my view of fast food (they only use McDonald's, but all fast food is basically the same).

I agree with small changes. Don't try to turn your life upside down. Making gradual changes can make all the difference. I know we live in a world of demanding instant gratification, but honestly, the slower you lose the weight, the more likely you are to KEEP it off. I hope any of this has actually helped you, and good luck!

That's one thing I really needed to hear.....that gradual is the way to go! I tend to get frustrated when I don't see results - and quit. Or another problem I have is that I'll start having success and get all content about it and start going "Well, I've done so well, I can have these french fries!", then this hot fudge sundae, etc etc.... and I get right back to my same awful eating habits. ARGH! I don't know why I can't stick to something! Two things in my life I wanted to lose weight for (the first is really silly - but it was something I wanted, sad I know) #1 I wanted SO badly to win my high school beauty pageant. Everyone always said from day 1 that this other girl was going to win it when we were seniors. All I needed to do was lose just a little weight (I was much smaller in HS) and I KNOW I could have walked away with it. I didn't lose the weight. Then, the pageant had to be postponed for 6 months for some reason I don't remember now - I was handed another chance to get the weight off!!! What did I do? Nothing. Didn't lose a pound. And of course, I lost. Figure that one out, will ya? #2 I wanted to weigh 150 for my wedding. Started LAWL. Lost about 50 lbs. Then started getting more and more off plan. Stopped the plan about 1 month before my wedding. I DID lose 50 lbs, but I didn't make it to my goal. WHY?? Why do I do this? This question plagues me daily!! Does anyone have any suggestions? ALSO - I figured out the weight tracker thingie! YEAH! Thanks for the help!

I would suggest that you start by picking better food choices. Even the fast food restaurants have better selections these days. And if you do get discouraged and get fries one day, realize afterward that you didn't fail and go back to eating the same way you always did, but that you stumbled and will pick yourself back up and go back to the healthier choices again tomorrow. It takes a long time to develop a habit.

Secondly, start adding in exercise just to your daily routines. You really need to look at your day and try to find ways to spend a bit of time on exercise, but in the meantime, you can exercise without taking more than a few unnoticeable moments out of your day. Start by parking farther from every door, avoiding escalators and elevators like the plague. Try not to use the phone to contact someone close by and instead make a trip to see them to get in some walking. Walk or bike to nearby locations rather than drive. Do hip and ab flexes while sitting in your chair. March in place while watching a movie...add hand weights for even more exercise.

LHB,
I'm new here too. I know it's not much of a consolation, I know what you mean about going so far and losing a good chunk of weight, then going right back to the old habits. Self-sabotage!!!

I do it too, unfortunately.

But, whatever you do, DON'T GIVE UP!!!

I am so happy to have found ya'll! Hopefully THIS time I can do it - with the help of people who actually UNDERSTAND! And won't criticize me every time I screw up or if I gain a pound......(like my mom) Thank God for all of you!!

I'm so glad you started this thread, Lauren. I actually popped on to start a similar one, then realized the folks here have given so much good advice that I can draw from myself.

I think the biggest thing for me, in addition to the food and exercise part, is definitely mindset. It's the "what about this time is going to be different than the thousand times I've done this before?" question that needs to be answered in my own head before I can be successful. For me, I'll keep yo-yo'ing, self-sabatoging, and losing my motivation over and over again until that gets straight in my brain. Prior to that happening, it's just going to be the same old, same old. I'm proud that I've at least grasped that one concept...maybe it'll give me a little shove along the way.

One of the things I also related to was your story about losing weight in high school. Recently I've been beating myself up, remembering the times when I was 170 or 200 or ****...even 250 pounds, and how if I'd just dealt with it then I wouldn't feel like I had the world to conquer now. But the more I think about it, the more I realize I have to put all that kind of thinking behind me, because it's totally counterproductive. Could've would've should've...I could've lived a healthier lifestyle, I would've made more of an effort to stay fit, I should've kept off the 65 pounds I took off in my 20s. Yeah, okay, those are the facts, but I need to move on and look to what I'm going to do now. Everything I've done or not done in the past is exactly that -- in the past -- and it doesn't make a bit of difference now.

I'm trying to remind myself of that daily, and realize that no matter what I put myself in this situation and it's time to get myself out of it. I didn't feel all that bright and chipper this morning, and for 3 1/2 seconds I wondered if I could call in fat to work.

So yeah, I don't know what I'm trying to say here, and I didn't mean to make it all. about. me. But maybe you or someone else can relate to what I've talked about, which is my hope. You really aren't in this alone, you really CAN do this, and girl...no matter, what, you're gorgeous. Seriously. (And is that Bret Michaels? The-Man-Who-Has-Aged-So-Well? Because yum!)

I keep saying I'm going to utilize this board more, and I think I really finally am. Thanks again for posting and helping to give me my kickstart.

Hi satylite! Wow. Thanks so much for the post! You brought tears to my eyes - and I don't think it's such a great idea for me to sit here and boo hoo at work! But I also about fell out of my chair laughing about "call in fat to work"!!! Oh LORD! That is too hysterical! You just don't even know how many times I have wanted to do that - ****, call in sick to LIFE!
So I haven't actually STARTED anything YET - although I guess registering here is a start! And girl - don't you ever worry about making it "all about you." You just go right ahead! I think that's one of our problems - we NEVER make it all about us. I think that's one reason I have failed at diets in the past. It was usually never for me. I was losing weight for my mom. For my dad. For my boyfriend. When the boyfriend broke up with me (which escalated to my bout with bulimia). Never because.... well just because. Because it's the healthy, smart thing to do. Check it out!! I've already had an epiphany!
I also know what you mean about "What's going to be different about THIS time?" I've tried and failed so many times, EVERYONE feels that way now. I am so glad that I recently moved out of state so no one in my family has to know that I am trying to lose weight....AAAAAGAIN. The response I usually get each time I try is "Okay, Lauren. Whatever." Already expecting me to fail. Some support group, huh?
Oh.... here's a good one! Are you familiar with "the buts"? Like, you're so pretty......BUT (you're fat). You're so smart.....BUT (you never graduated college) or whatever.....etc....etc. The buts have plagued me all of my life. I really don't think that my family MEANS to kill my self-esteem.....my mom calls it "constructive criticism".....but words from the ones you love go straight to your heart. And all of that "constructive criticism" catches up with you eventually. The past may be the past, but you still never forget it. I have failed so many times, it's hard to get up the gumption to try again. A friend of mine told me after I lost 50 lbs on LA Weight Loss "Great job! You look awesome!" And I said "Thanks. But I failed. I didn't reach my goal." And she said "Well, that's no way to look at it! YOU LOST 50 POUNDS! That's great! You may have not reached your ultimate goal, but you still accomplished something!" I wish I could keep that frame of mind permamently! I asked my mom if she thought LAWL was worth the money she paid for it and she said "Well, you didn't lose all of your weight, did you?" (Basically saying she thought she wasted her money) GOSH! The effects of hearing that kind of crap all of your life go deep!! I don't know if I will ever get over it. And therefore maybe I will always fail........?
Anyway...yes that is Bret Michaels! I partied with him here in Nashville about a month ago. CRAZY crazy man! And he is still yummy - but he has a BAD receding hairline - that's why he wears that hat all the time. And (according to his wife) I mean ALL the time! Even to bed! She said he's so insecure about his hair. I guess we all have them, huh?
Well, I think I've babbled enough for now! satylite, I think you and I are going to be good friends and great supporters of each other!
Great to meet you!

I hear you about the fast food. I go to fast food restaurants 2 times a week most weeks - once with a family member as a part of a weekly routine, and once with my kids' playgroup. As at least one person above has said, you can definitely try to find healthier choices at any fast food restaurant. I used to be a bacon cheeseburger gal. Now, at just about any restaurant I could point you to a better choice. At Wendy's I do the fruit bowl and if I'm really hungry I will add a baked potato (plain). At McDonalds I usually get a salad with grilled chicken and no dressing. At Taco Bell I do a chicken soft taco with no sauce. At Quiznos I'll get a salad with chicken but no cheese or dressing. Etcetera. If you have no choice but to eat fast food, really make sure to take time to look at the menu and choose the healthiest thing you can. Most of them have their nutritional information available at the restaurant but if you don't see it or don't want to ask, it's almost always on the website. I believe they're required by law to have it available.

Would it be possible for you to "brown bag" more of your meals? You could buy yourself a little cooler, pack it with a nice healthy lunch, and eat that instead of going out for fast food? I bet that would help a lot. And as a couple other people have said, don't deprive yourself. I always, always gave up on diets if I deprived myself. I love food way too much to stick to a boring, celery and crackers and water kind of diet and that's not healthy anyway. I was just saying in another thread that I have a king-size candy bar in my kitchen right now, and I am happy to have one piece a day. It gives me a little treat and with a little bit of chocolate every day, I don't get to the point where I give in to cravings and binge. I have used Slimfast shakes here and there - I'm not following the Slimfast plan, really, because I don't want to buy shakes and meal bars my whole life. But if my kids are being crazy and I just don't have time to make myself a healthy meal, I can grab a shake and an apple and call that lunch instead of eating chips or some other unhealthy snack.

Glad you found us here, Lauren. I hope this place is as helpful to you as it has been for me. I just reached my first mini-goal this week, and today I'm wearing a skirt I haven't fit into for almost 2 years. It really does help to have the support of a community who knows what you're going through and I hope that this site can give you the same extra "push" it's given me.

Hi! Lauren
I was just going to put my 2cents in. I found this site about a week and a half ago. After I realized what it was, and what kind of people were here, and how much I feel a part of everything everyone here is going through, I about cried. I didn't but I was so amazed, I was thinking it was divine intervention too! I have said on a couple of threads so far, I found this by searching for info on a exercise machine and came across a post related to it, then I read it and was like what is this place??? I never knew it existed and I think it's the little push I need to keep my mind on my goals. I see it as the place to recharge my will power "batteries". After being on this board for about a week, and talking with people and expressing my thoughts, I realize that it was fun to think about when I get to my first mini goal and be able to go through and change my ticker. I don't feel so alone in this struggle, anymore and I feel like I can and will do it this time! I would like to start a newbie group or something... I think we could help each other get started and get going on this journey. Maybe I could, I've seen several new people also here this week or so and we all seem to have similar problems, goals, and frustrations... Maybe I'll work on that this weekend.

Hi Friends:

Just wanted to second the baby step appoach to all of this. Take it one step at a time and then keep adding to them. I am in relapse right now due to some old coping skills coming back into play. I don't need my relapse (20 pound gain) to become a collapse. So I am focusing on healthier eating this week. I am also not total avoiding favorite foods this always backfires on me. I am using moderation.
Next week my goal is to reintroduce moderate exercise. That will probable be about 2-3 times a week. Notice I used the word moderate because I need to avoid black and white thinking and being perfect. So one moderate babystep at a time and soon you'll be at your goal.

Gray, I used to love the Wendy's broccoli and cheddar potato, and even asked for extra cheddar. Just out of trying to reduce my fat content, I began ordering just a potato with broccoli only. It's actually quite good and spruces up a plain potato.

The small cup of chili is also a great way to healthfully spruce up a plain potato at Wendy's Just leave of the cheese and the sour cream!

...and the severed finger

sorry, I couldn't help myself

Lauren-Welcome!!! This IS a great site. I too have tried everything out there and FINALLY on April 27th I got my "click". Ever since then, the girl who ate two crappy meals a day now eats 6 small healthy meals a day...honestly I feel like I am eating ALL OF THE TIME!! No complaints here Also, I get up an hour earlier than I used to and go to the gym everyday. If someone would have told me two months ago that I would be getting up at 530am every morning to go work out, I would have laughed at them all the way to Taco Bell. I haven't had fast food this entire time and I don't even miss it. I took more of the all or nothing approach to my "healthier self". Don't get me wrong, I still allow myself treats (almost everyday) but I limit myself. It's surprising how satisfying one square of chocolate can be. I also don't beat myself up anymore if I eat more of something than I should have. I just total it in to my calories for the day and move on. One of the biggest reasons why I failed at "diets" was because if I messed up at all, I would just say, "SEE I'm a failure and I already screwed up, so I might as well screw up the WHOLE rest of the day" and I would continue to beat myself up about it while I ate an entire pizza. This time I am doing this because I LOVE me and not because I HATE me. Yes, I used to say all of the same things that so many of us "chubby" girls do...I hate myself, I'm disgusting, I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'll never be able to do this, etc. NOT ANY MORE!!! I have completely let that negativity go. It is so much harder when you are fighting yourself every step of the way. I don't need to be perfect, I just need to not give up on myself because the only person I end up hurting is me. Yes, I still have bad days when I'm not feeling super happy about me but if I stay on plan all day, I feel so much better than if I would have spent the whole day wallowing and self medicating with food. I KNOW that I will do it this time and so can you. We all just need to believe in ourselves. We are wonderful women with amazing potential!! WE can do it

OMG! The finger joke was priceless!

So I had a good laugh, and then I sat here at my desk and had a good cry! I am sure my co-workers are beginning to think that I am losing what little I have left upstairs!

"One of the biggest reasons why I failed at "diets" was because if I messed up at all, I would just say, "SEE I'm a failure and I already screwed up, so I might as well screw up the WHOLE rest of the day" and I would continue to beat myself up about it while I ate an entire pizza. This time I am doing this because I LOVE me and not because I HATE me. Yes, I used to say all of the same things that so many of us "chubby" girls do...I hate myself, I'm disgusting, I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'll never be able to do this, etc."

That's what brought about the crying fit. That sounds like my mantra..."I'm fat. I'm ugly. I hate myself......etc etc" I have been that way all of my life - and never really felt like I had anyone in my corner to prove me otherwise. Most of the people around me agreed! Kinda hard to pick yourself up when the only place you've ever known is on the ground. I still don't think I can do this. One of my little "fat girl voices" is telling me now "Girl! What are you doing on this website! You are wasting these people's time. You ain't gonna do jacksh** about losing yo' big ole butt! Get on off of here and go get you a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's!!" (all this talk about Wendy's has made me crave one!!) I love bad food too much and I am way too lazy to ever lose this weight. This is pointless.......
Sorry.... I digress.... A LOT......

"If someone would have told me two months ago that I would be getting up at 530am every morning to go work out, I would have laughed at them all the way to Taco Bell"

OMG!! That is SO me!! But I am still at the laughing point. ****, I can't even make myself get up in the morning and walk my dog! I really am just plain ole' lazy. I really would rather get the extra hour of sleep!! I have NO motivation to get off of my fat *** and do ANYTHING! <sigh> How in the WORLD do you do it? How do you get yourself to go to the gym in the morning? How do you get yourself to go PERIOD???

How do you just wake up one day and like yourself? How do you believe in yourself? I have seen overweight people around me do it all the time - just wake up one day and start losing weight and keep it off. How do you do it? I THINK I am doing it.I'm all gung ho and all "Oh I love myself! I'm awesome! I'm going to do it this time! Oh yeah baby! I'm on it!...then I lose a little and....quit.....AAAAAGAIN. If ya'll can help me figure this out then you should be in the ranks with Nostradomus!! I have spent my entire 27 years on Earth trying to figure this out. And I've always said "I bet if I can figure out WHY I keep doing this (being all about losing - then quitting) I might actually be able to DO it. If I can identify the problem and remove it from my life, I might actually lose the weight!" But I have yet to succeed at even that.