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You have to be ready to blow up your life, let the pieces fall where they may and hope they land in smaller jeans.
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Exactly, precisely, pithy and true. Which leads me to ...
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Originally Posted by lj_cox
What helped me really seriously lose weight and keep it off was reframing. The last time I set out to lose weight I decided that losing weight wasn't going to be what it was about. What it was going to be about was getting fit. Getting fit meant eating healthy day by day, exercising day by day, writing down what I ate honestly even on bad days, drinking water. Every time I did those things it was a win, and I celebrated each winning day. Success breeds success, for each win I wanted another, and gradually it got easier. ...
Look at the weight loss as a side effect of getting fit. Breaking free of the scale as the primary motivator avoids all the rotten feelings of failure when you don't lose quickly enough, or gain even though you're doing everything right. Celebrate the winning steps on your journey.
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BINGO
I've been overweight all my life. All. My. Life. And, despite some losses here and there, over the years I gained and gained. At the age of 39 -- three years ago -- I was nearly 340. There's a very long story behind how I finally decided to try ONE MORE TIME to lose weight, but it boils down to three things:
ONE - I had experienced success with getting some other aspects of my life under control, such as finances. I worked very hard, curbed some of my pleasure-seeking ways, and finally felt like an adult when it came to money. Achievement breeds confidence, and every time I paid an extra $50 on a credit card, or paid off a loan, I patted myself on the back and let myself get a little giddy about it. I made myself pay attention to the real numbers, I made a realistic plan, I stuck to it, and I celebrated small successes. That gave me some confidence that I could acheive difficult tasks with long-range goals which required some change of attitude and personal sacrifice.
TWO - I started taking care of myself a little better. Despite the fact that I was so very overweight, I made sure my clothes weren't sloppy, that I wore makeup, etc. That made me feel better about myself. No one ever succeeded at losing weight by hating and neglecting themselves. After I started a program, I continued on this path. I now get manicures & pedicures, massages, regular hair cuts. I dress up and go out, even though I am still a size 18. I started a yoga class a year ago -- swallowed my apprehension about being the only fat inflexible girl in a room full of size 0 yoginis -- and I LOVED it from the very first class. It meets not only a physical need but a spiritual need as well. In other words, I take care of myself REGARDLESS of my size, both physically and mentally.
THREE -- What Linda said. I was frightened of getting only larger, of looming disability and ill health. I was tired of feeling like cr*p all the time. I was tired of ... eating junk, but I couldn't bring myself to "just eat healthy." Despite the fact that I joined a formal program (more about that in a minute), I did exactly the kind of reframing that Linda discussed. Again, there's a long detailed rationale and strategy here, but the condensed version is that I decided my goal was to reshape my life. That meant working on my compulsive eating (and yes, The Thin Books are GREAT in addressing this issue). That meant developing strategies to understand myself, understand my almost unconscious thought patterns, reshaping my attitudes, examining every aspect of my life and my mind to observe reactions and patterns and come up with solutions to everything that stood in my way. I didn't weigh myself for SIX WEEKS after starting my program. And, I only weighed myself about every 6 weeks after that for the first 6 months. Losing weight wasn't the point. Changing my entire life, my entire BEING, was. The weight comes off as a side effect of that. Adopting a life-time view makes things easier, too, because you let go of that "diet," deadline-driven mentality.
Finally, I have to say ... the program I follow IS JC. I don't think you're lumping JC in with fad diets, but for those who might -- it's not. Yes, you buy their processed food, but only for a while, and it's only a tool. The point is to have flexibility and moderation and build a healthy lifestyle that will last you after you reach goal. I needed weekly one-on-one meetings with someone. If JC hadn't worked, I would have sought out a nutritionist. I've been on it for nearly 3 years, and I am only somewhat tired of the food.
I go through rebellious periods, but there are ways to deal with that constructively. But, until you find the inner reserves, the inner reasons for doing this, you can wander from program to program for the rest of your life.
Just take solace in the fact that people who successfully lose weight try many times before they succeed. You just have to keep trying. Another book you might pick up is Thin for Life. I read this book before I started JC and it gave me the shot of optimism I needed to walk in the door. I do a lot of reading, studying, researching, etc. outside the JC materials (which are very good). JC (or WW, or whatever) are just doors. It's up to you to walk through the door and discover what's on the other side. All I can tell you is the mental shift from wanting to "stick to a diet" and "lose weight" to "building a healthy lifestyle" is crucial. You have to feel that in your gut. If you don't yet, just keep talking to yourself about it and pondering it. It took me about 6 months of thinking and agonizing before I started my program, but it was time well spent.
