Hey there!

FAYE - I LOVED your poem! It is absolutely beautiful, full of love for your husband - brilliant!

I only got 1 point yesterday, for water - I started off really well, then fell asleep in the late afternoon and when I woke up, Nigel had ordered us pizza! I couldn't say no could I?????. Oh well - today is a new day!

PAM - 40lb lost - wow! What an amazing achievement - be very proud!

MISSY - So sorry to hear you are feeling down and ill. Go easy on yourself and try not to worry about this guy you like - just let it happen and see where it goes. Aren't relationships supposed to be fun?

DOT / LISA / JULIE - you are doing great girls - keep it up!

Where are you Ritu? Come back soon - we miss you!

Love Amanda xxx

Hi girls!

Mugirl- hang in there with the dating situation and glad to hear you are not turning to food.

Julie-Oh boy that van thing is really drivin you nuts huh...I dont blame you. Hope all turns out ok. Oh and those jeans must look great on you- hey its getting growls from ur hubby.

Amanda-its okay and like you said to day is a new day just get back on that horse.

Faye- I really like your peom and am sure it'll make a very special gift for your husband. Its great when there is that kind of love between two ppl. As far as the poem itself I like the flow of it and the tone of it. Good luck Oh and your grandson looks ADORABLE in the pic. Btw love your hair.

Lisa- Hmmm its hard to say, especially since I have no kids, but maybe you should just let the court decide how much he needs to contribute with and in this way avoid any biased calculations among the two of you. It will also avoid Brittany from seeing the two of you fight or argue about her and the financial situation. I do know kids hear and understand a lot more than what we give them credit for. Also in this way you will aviod having to nag him for money or him trying to brush you off with an unfair amount. Hope this helps and if any of you girls think I am crazy or don't have a clue pleeeease jump in and advice Lisa.


Well take care girls.

Hello everyone!

I am back from the land of darkness! The man just reconnnected our phone line. I went through the eye of the hurricaine at 5:30 September the 18th. I'm sure I had you all thinking of me. I was without power for five days and without phone for 13. I missed you all and can't wait to get back into a routine. Faye I'm glad you enjoyed your trip and the storm didn't mess with you. I haven't read all the missing posts and may never as I'm sure everyone has written a lot in the time I was out. Congratulations to everyone who seems to be doing so well. I haven't had any smilies except maybe exercise. I had to cook or throw out everything in my freezer and I had to eat what I could. Thank God for bbq grills! Anyway--glad to be back

Happy you made a lot of good points, but I feel like court isn't an option. We haven't used it to this point and my daughter is old enough to hate me if I was to get any kind of child support, because she doesn't understand and her father would just fuel the fire.

Thanks,
Lisa

Afternoon points are as follows:

Pam: YOU GET A:
Amanda: YOU GET A:

Lee: We missed you! I thought maybe you might be one of those with no power so I didn't stress out TOO much, but we are sure glad things are back to normal for you and you are back with us!

Lisa: My advice is NEGOTIATE. No matter what, the most important thing is your daughter. I would nicely ask your ex to sit down with you and discuss your daughter's future with regard to her insurance etc. Here is what I would propose: Since you are not following the court order and you are both ok with that it seems, I would 1) make sure the court knows he paid so they let him off the hook 2) both of you forgive any money in the past you feel is owed and start fresh 3) DO NOT argue about this and ignore the "who makes more money" issue, because it could reverse at any time 4) Offer to split everything down the middle, her custody, her insurance, child support everything. In this way, you are sharing equally in her care. If the insurance is say $1000 a year and the copays are $600 you should each contribute $800. Negotiate where she stays though it sounds like the week on week off is ok with you. Each pay one semester of school fees, split any extracurricular activities that cost like band, cheerleading etc and any school trips. If you pay for school pics and they are $50 than he should pay for band or whatever. In this way, you are both equal, neither or you is carrying a heavier load and most important there should be no grudge holding as this is FAIR to both of you. If he doesn't agree, then say, "well then we go to court and since you are making more than I you may end up taking on more of her care than 50%." What is important is NOT who is making more and can handle more, but how this bickering would effect your daughter negatively and your overall pleasant relationship with your ex, which you need to preserve for your daughter's sake.

Thanks for the input on the poem. Poetry is pretty easy for me as well as any kind of writing (the fat poem took 10 minutes and this one about 1/2 hour) This poem is pretty much our life together and stupid me, cried when it was finished and I read it completed because I think about what it would do to me to lose him.

Well, game 2 of the Cubs/Braves is on in 1/2 hour so have to get hopping!

Faye

Hi ladies, The kids are playing video games with their dad and so I get a minute to myself

Lisa--A thought occurred to me while reading your post about the whole who pays what for your daughter. It seems to me that it's all too darned complicated and that's why you argue about it. You absolutely CANNOT predict when she's gonna need money for what. So how about you set up a savings account just for her and you each contribute a certain amount each paycheck. That way, you always know the money is there when she needs it and you don't have to argue about "I paid last month's doctor co-pay so you have to do this and that to make up for it." You both contribute exactly even, and it's easy! If you trust each other enough, you could both have an atm card attached to the account to get money for her when you may be strapped yourself. If there's money left over, GREAT! She's got a nice little savings started for college.......if the money runs out, then you both give it a cash infusion equally.

I could be wrong, but it seems like the easier the arrangement the more likely you both are to stick to it.

If he doesn't go for that and it seems like he's trying to welch out on the bills, then DEFINITELY go to court! It is not fair for the woman to have to shoulder all the responsibility!!!! My father paid very very little of his child support and my mother was always stressed out. He would pay a tiny bit, then move to another state so she had to file papers all over again. And he was CONSTANTLY trying to "renegotiate" things. It was a very sucky situation. It doesn't matter if your daughter doesn't understand, someday she will. You have to demand that he pay an equal share.

I sincerely hope that you can deal with this easily and amicably. And may I be spared the hardships you and so many other women face everyday! I am sooooo blessed to have the wonderful family I do.

Well, There's my two cents.........
Julie

Lisa: YOU GET A: for points.

Faye

Good morning everyone! Been MIA for a while, actually had a weekend off and enjoyed it with my son. First of all I get 4 points for Mon-Wed! I know that it is Thurs but I missed yesterday so I am goin to gripe. Doctors! Went to my ob on Monday. Had a total hyst. in Feb, due to the endo. Everything was going along great until 4 weeks ago. I started having pain once again. The pain was all too fimilar so I was getting concerned. When I was at my doc's office he said that there was a possibally of the enod turning into cancer, but on the other had I had been on HRT so the endo could be growing. During the hyst all traces of endo were remove except for the endo on my bladder. He wasn't trained in exicision. So I had the blood work and was told that this could also show if there was new growth on endo. Well in the meantime I am just scared. I called the office yesterday and was told that it could take a week or so for the results to come back. I wish that the doc at times would keep some of their thoughts to themselves. On the other hand I have always told this doc to be straight with me, so I know it is on me as well. Guess I feel a little better for getting it out. Now I am praying for this to be enod growing. Eventhough it will be hard to find a specialist where I am located it will in the end be more pleasant.

Lisa, I think that the ladies here have offered you some good advice to your problem with your ex and support. All I got to say is that at least you are getting some help. THere are those of us out there who do not get any help at all. When we go to court the judges throw out the cases and the local child support refuses to help cause the ex is in another state. I amhere to tell each and everyone of you that all a man has to do is to move out of state and he is free and clear of support obligations. Have been told by way too many law enforcement officals that there isnt a state out there that will cross state lines on that matter. I guess my point is that hey you got some help, be thankful for it. I know that I may seem like a total ***** on this matter but my pov is comming from someone that has to pay everything themselve 100%. Sorry if I have offened, which I have no intention of doing, just stating the facts of life.

Thanks Faye! Back at ya!

Giggelz-I empathize with your situation. I also have always appreciated his "help" It is his responsibility. I showed that to him by releasing him of the $12,000.00 back child support. I don't feel that because other men out there are getting away with not taking care of their children at all, that I should allow my situation to become unfair on my behalf or my daughter's behalf for the sake of "it could be worse". You didn't offend and I hope I didn't as well. I really appreciate everyone's point of view and it's very theraputic for me to see things from so many angles, but I don't want to upset anyone either.

Ok let's get back to the good stuff, enough of the griping Lisa! It's done and I have some great ideas to work with. Thanks to all of you! I am happier for it too, BTW. I feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders and I haven't even talked to him yet.

What is Thursday?? Lemme check...Ohh ok it's pamper yourself day, hmmm that's gonna be kinda hard for me today. I work till 6 and then I go babysit for a friend her 3 month old baby Jayce is like a nephew to me. He's so beautiful!! I just love him so much and I'm really glad I get this time to spend with him. I won't get home till after 9, so pampering will have to wait until Saturday, but I do get to videotape Survivor tonight! I don't watch much TV, but that is my one show every season.

Happy Pampering to all!

Lisa

THURSDAY: Time for us THursday. Take some time for yourself today. It is important!

Sandy: Honey you are in our prayers. I know you have to be just terrified waiting for the results but we are here for you all the way. We will prayer for you and hope that it is nothing serious. In the meantime, you have to work to keep it from controlling your thoughts all day. YOU GET A: for your points.

Check back later.

Faye

Morning Girlies!
Just a quick note before I'm off to do all the errands I couldn't do this week cuz of the van being gone. I called them up yesterday afternoon and said "I'm picking my van up at 9 am....have it ready!" They said "ok." GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR............

Anyway, 4 points for yesterday. This weekend will be tough. My family volunteers at a living history museum, and this weekend we're camping over for all 3 days. Which means we'll be eating 18th centruy food......fried chicken! Hot biscuits with BUTTER! POTATOES! mmmmmmmmm.......... Deep down I know I could eat all this stuff and just not lose any weight this week. But I also know, unfortunately, that I WILL end up getting sick! All this whole grain/low fat/no starches thing has gotten into my blood and when I cheat I get sick everytime! I guess that means it's nearly a way of life, now. Yeah!

So my plan for this weekend.........if I write it to you gals, I'm more likely to actually do it! I will buy a huge bag of fresh off the tree apples, and actually eat them. I will buy a big ole' pumpkin and roast pumpkin seeds tonight (I've been craving pumpkin seeds for the last 2 weeks!). I will make up a batch of sugar free pumpkin/oatmeal/raisin cookie bars for breakfasts. I will also let the kids eat whatever they want! They deserve a break for not complaining (too much) about all these changes Oh, and WATER! I must bring a couple of gallons of drinking water!

There, I feel better.......I can cope.

Welcome back LEE--I remember the no power/no phone thing from hurricane FRAN back before we moved to Maine.

Lisa--I hope you can work things out....Gigglez is right! So many people live with no support at all (my sister does! My mom did!). BUT that doesn't mean that you should "just be thankful for what you get" and let him off easy! Don't underrate yourself!

Geez, I said this would be short!!!

Ok, Gotta Go......Stay everyone!
Julie

Hello Ladies!! Lisa I hope u and your ex can work this out without losing your relationship.... these women are wonderful and very intelligent so use there advice... Gigglez... its a shame that some men have no problem with shirking their responsibilities... I am thanksful to be blessed with a man who not only is a wonderful daddy and husband but treats me like a total equal... always has... its truly a blessing.
I made all 4 points yesterday... was rather difficult last night... i am trying not to eat after 7pm... but hubby like to eat popcorn after dinner... usually around 9 or 10... It works for him and his weight loss journey... but not for me...lol Hes a lucky man in that he can just put his mind to losing and do it... he just seems to do it so effortlessly... which is rather frustrating at times...lol but he is supportive of me and my journey... i am justa babbling arent i? lol
I did my yoga yesterday... feels good... 3 days down I want to do it 5 times a week... every week day... the weekends will be mine to decide what exercise i do but i do like the morning yoga...
WEll ladies... each and every one of you is a remarkable, beautiful and amazing woman.... Remember to take care of U
I love you all....

Sandy

Hi all,

Aaaaah, the PMS monster has got me again and I feel crappy - my life seems to revolve around my menstrual cycle - it feels like I only have about a week of feeling ok before it gets me again! Anyway, Nigel has gone out to buy me CHOCOLATE - I haven't had any since I started this diet about 8 weeks ago.

I got 3 points yesterday - no exercise.

Love Amanda xx

Hi girls...just checking in quickly to say I got 4 pts for yesterday...almost didn't two, but then I did enough walking to count as moderate exercise. Okay I will check back in later.

OUR FOUR POINTERS TODAY:

Julie
Sandy B
Dorothy

THREE POINTERS:

Amanda

Hope you ladies are all having a great day!

Faye