Relationship breakup, massive weightloss and body confidence at a zero - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


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Old 02-25-2020, 07:39 AM   #1  
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Default Relationship breakup, massive weightloss and body confidence at a zero

Hi, I'm not sure if I have posted in the right place but I really want to speak to people in similar positions.
I've recently split up with my partner for various reasons but one being I couldn't cope with my loose skin and believed he didn't like my body either. Due to how much it affected me it gradually ruined many parts of our relationship. But either way, I feel even worse about myself since we split. Perhaps I've been thinking too far ahead but I feel like noone else will have me with my loose skin and I feel like a fraud in clothes. I have a really pretty face and men often approach me but I always think how disappointed they would be if they saw the real me so compliments almost dont count. I feel so lost right now and I'm afraid to be rejected when I'm ready to move on. I've looked at skin removal but financially I'm not in a place to have it right now. My head is all over the place at the moment, I just feel so sad. I worked so hard to look a certain way and I feel no better off because it's not good enough making me feel like I'll always be alone because noone will accept me.
Sorry for such a depressing post
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Old 02-25-2020, 07:41 AM   #2  
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I have lost 100lbs twice so its extra messy and had kids.
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Old 02-25-2020, 07:47 AM   #3  
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I have skin everywhere and it's got worse to the point I can see it coming on my neck. Absolutely hate myself.
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Old 02-26-2020, 05:12 PM   #4  
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First let me congradulate you on being able to lose 100# not once but twice! What a personal accomplishment!!! And being a mom as well you just earned the 10 stars out of 10 on my scale of admired persons.

I can't help you with loose skin but if you can find a way to embrace your body and hard work you had to do to be healthy, I hope you can find that place that will love you for all of you, none of us have 'perfect' parts and of couse I wish I could change/move/remove body parts that I don't like when I look in the mirror. If you can find a place mentally to accept you for you, everyone will get in line to reinforce your inner and outer beauty you just have to let them!

I wish you well
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Old 03-31-2020, 12:13 PM   #5  
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Love to see all above posts...Awesome !!!
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Old 05-10-2020, 09:49 PM   #6  
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I can sympathize with the hatred of your own body. I don't have excessive loose skin but I feel like after I lose weight this time I will have some and I am going to accept it. I would try to look at it as the sign of the success you have had and the memory of where you do not want to be again. You can start saving for skin surgery or look into alternatives like carecredit, which most plastic surgeons will accept. I have decided that I have been unhappy with my body for a long time and I am going to stop feeling that way. Yes I am obese. Yes I am uncomfortable with my current size. However, I still get to wake up every day to the most incredible little girl who does not care what I look like nor how big my body is. All she sees is who I am. I truly believe that when someone loves you, that's all they will see. My husband is the same way. Take this time to learn to love yourself again. You deserve to love yourself, loose skin and all. Remind yourself what you do like about yourself, and hopefully there's a lot more than just physical things there. You become what you focus on and like the people you surround yourself with. Become kind to yourself and you will be able to surround yourself with people who love you as much as you do. Society tells us we have to look at certain way. My mom had loose skin, droopy breasts, and wasn't a size 2. I loved her, my Dad loved her, and she loved herself. It can be done.
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Old 05-26-2020, 03:22 AM   #7  
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You will find a guy that likes you just the way you are.
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Old 06-16-2020, 10:56 PM   #8  
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Congrats on losing that much weight twice! You know, if that part of having a relationship bothers you, you can stop dating. I haven't dated for the past five years, and they've been great years. It's amazing how much you can achieve when the focus isn't on trying to find romantic love. Enjoy friends and family, travel, have adventures, read. And someday if you can save up enough money for the surgery, you can try it again when you feel good.

Last edited by Mokiedokie; 06-16-2020 at 10:57 PM.
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Old 06-21-2020, 08:31 AM   #9  
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This has definitely crossed my mind but I would like to feel like I have the option rather then avoiding it as a way of curbing rejection. I spoke to my doctor friday to ask what my options are as far as loose skin, they're going to contact me tomorrow. I'm not expecting miracles but I would like to at least have some kind of direction. I can potentially save for my thighs which are my worse area but if I went and corrected everything that would be over 20,000. I just think regardless of dating etc, my confidence is just on the floor.
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Old 06-21-2020, 08:54 AM   #10  
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Butterfly, when you are losing to get to that goal it becomes the focus of our life and the goal in mind is to look and feel good when we get to that magic number, but here is the thing--we set ourselves up for failure because none of us is ever going to have that perfect body and that vision becomes our downfall. Learning to accept that your body won't be perfect is part of the healing process of weight loss. In your original post, it sounds like YOU believe your partner hated your body but it doesnt sound like your partner ever expressed that. I wonder how much might be self fulfilling prophecy on your point, self sabotage? Maybe you should check into finding someone to help you cope with the disappointments your are feeling with your body and focus on making that less of a focus in your life. It won't fix the skin but maybe the skin would matter less if you felt better about yourself. I know this is tough to hear, but fixing the insides is as important (maybe more so) than fixing the outside
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Old 06-22-2020, 05:53 AM   #11  
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Hey,

Thanks for your post! I've been in therapy now for nearly 14 months in relation to body image and self esteem. I can't say its made a huge difference to this area of difficulty. Xx
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Old 06-22-2020, 07:01 PM   #12  
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I hear you -- I know I will never have the body I wish I could have even if I get to goal. I am trying to focus more on what my body can DO now that it couldnt before. And as age gets us- it really isnt going to matter. Sooner or later we will all look old and saggy, but I would rather be a thin old and saggy, LOL
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Old 06-29-2020, 04:51 PM   #13  
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I do sometimes try to view it this way, and sometimes I do think about the benefits etc.x
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Old 06-29-2020, 04:51 PM   #14  
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Hahahaha...I would definitely like to be thin old and saggy! 🙈
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Old 07-01-2020, 02:25 PM   #15  
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me too
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