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Old 06-04-2020, 01:47 AM   #106  
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635....

Not really on-plan today. Got my exercise in but broke even on calories and started my fast late

Spoiler
Realistically- whatever. Being an abject failure has unleashed a torrent of self-loathing that is inexplicable to me. I don't understand why I feel this way. I do okay during the day but get really sad and mean to myself about this failure at night. Waiting it out to see what weigh day (Sunday) brings. Seems likely I will need to adjust my countdown as I am at least a month behind.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-04-2020 at 01:49 AM. Reason: 3579.204W
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Old 06-04-2020, 11:48 PM   #107  
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634....

On-plan (exercise, slightly larger than planned calorie deficit and ended a fast).

Spoiler
Inner Critic: You actually thought you could lose weight. hahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahh hahahahaha.....
Me: Please stop
Inner Critic: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA. And just so you know, anyone who reads this is also laughing at you and your foolishness. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
Tomorrow will be a better day

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-04-2020 at 11:52 PM. Reason: 3617.38R
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Old 06-06-2020, 01:35 AM   #108  
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633...

Over ate today and only went on one walk. Still showing a half pound calorie deficit since Sunday's weigh in.

Spoiler
Who are we kidding...my plan is flawed and I am incapable of doing more. Fake it until you make it. Double spoiler alert-
Spoiler
I am faking it!
Didn't cry myself to sleep last night so that is something. I don't want to be doomed to a shorter and lower quality life. Since I can't get my wellness act together, that is my future.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-06-2020 at 02:32 AM. Reason: 3656.39F
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Old 06-07-2020, 12:03 AM   #109  
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632....

On-plan (three walks and created targeted calorie deficit). Tomorrow is weigh day for me.

Spoiler
On-plan very begrudgingly and still pretending like it actually matters. I really wanted to overeat but reined it in.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-08-2020 at 01:47 AM. Reason: 3719.63S
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Old 06-08-2020, 01:46 AM   #110  
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647...

Was on-plan today. Had to adjust the calculated number of days left. Predicted end date is March 22, 2022. Was able to confirm a weekly loss so damage was mitigated to an additional 15 days increase instead of an entire month.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-08-2020 at 01:47 AM. Reason: 3743.24N
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Old 06-08-2020, 11:52 PM   #111  
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646...

Kinda sorta on-plan (slightly smaller calorie deficit, started fast a little late and exercised as planned).

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-08-2020 at 11:52 PM. Reason: 3784.41M
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Old 06-10-2020, 01:55 AM   #112  
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645...

On-plan. Completed a 20 hour fast and created a much larger than expected calorie deficit. This is all good since after reporting in yesterday, I overate and reset my fast start time. Still no sure what I am going to do but it is better to maintain than to regain. I think of all of the folks who came on here and posted only once. I always hope they've found their path. Ultimately, I feel like still being here with my head sort of in the game counts as a plus.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-10-2020 at 01:56 AM. Reason: 3821.37T
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Old 06-10-2020, 11:42 PM   #113  
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644...

On-plan (exercise, calorie deficit, and started a fast).

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-10-2020 at 11:42 PM. Reason: 3850.29W
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Old 06-12-2020, 12:35 AM   #114  
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643...

Here! Not sure why but I am still here. On-plan and went for an extra walk today. Flubbed a bit after I reported in yesterday but still managed a calorie deficit. Overall, off target for the week. Tomorrow we are going to try to go out to eat for lunch so I am unlikely to catch up.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-12-2020 at 12:35 AM. Reason: 3878.38R
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Old 06-13-2020, 01:54 AM   #115  
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642...

Eh...today, I was not on-plan. Unless I do a fast between now and weigh-in, it is unlikely I will lose anything this week. Tonight I keep telling myself I am hungry and it seems to be an emotional thing that I can't quite put my finger on. I am trying not to overeat even more.

I've also made a pretty big decision. As I've mentioned, I have a bad foot and worse foot. There is a place that makes braces for situations like mine. They are phenomenal but very expensive. In addition, insurance will not cover any of the cost. I have been daydreaming about them for a really long time. When they were first invented, they were for military personnel only. They were for veterans with severe lower extremity injuries and limited from the limb salvage. Several of them were considering amputation (something that has crossed my mind as well). These braces allowed them to regain close normal life (e.g. playing basketball again vs. struggling to walk to the bathroom). Some of them even went back to active duty.

I still need to be evaluated by the designer to see if I am a good candidate. If I am and I do get them, I will be able to run for the first time in decades! Having to use the"easy exercise that anyone can do" (walking) for my fitness during the COVID restrictions has left me in a lot of pain. It has also really highlighted how limited I truly am. Fingers crossed I can get this all to work out.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-26-2020 at 02:21 AM. Reason: 3907.29F
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Old 06-13-2020, 11:51 PM   #116  
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641...

On-plan so far but late night eating has been a challenge lately. Tomorrow is weigh-in day.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-13-2020 at 11:52 PM. Reason: 3946.39S
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Old 06-15-2020, 03:01 AM   #117  
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640...

Weigh-in was not so good and showing an uptick.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-15-2020 at 03:01 AM. Reason: 3965.19N
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Old 06-16-2020, 12:58 AM   #118  
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639...

Too tired to write more aside from on-plan.

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-16-2020 at 12:58 AM. Reason: 4006.41M
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Old 06-17-2020, 02:51 AM   #119  
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638...

Hanging in there- that's 80% of it, right?

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-17-2020 at 02:52 AM. Reason: 4037.31T
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Old 06-18-2020, 01:08 AM   #120  
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637...

another day down....only time will tell if I am doing enough...

Last edited by Pipsicle; 06-18-2020 at 01:09 AM. Reason: 4070.33W
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