To start with my husband lost his job 2 months ago. He still hasn't found a job and has only had one interview after months of diligent job hunting. No jobs in sight.

We tried to get independent health insurance, since he was not eligible for COBRA. Joy of joys. I cannot find one insurer (who anyone has ever heard of) to cover me because of my weight.

So in addition to being a total looser for not being able to loose the weight on my own now I can't even get health insurance so if I get sick I could cost my family what little we have left.

I was starting to feel encouraged - but this letter today just feels like a total slap in the face.

I suppose I now have to try to find the energy to pull myself up again. I just don't know where I'll find it this time. All this makes me want to do is eat myself into oblivion.

Sorry things are bad at the moment Mrs K

Things are tough for me and my partner too at the moment and I think the thing that stops me turning to food is that I know all it will do is add more guilt into the situation. I find that even though life around me is stressful and messy, at least I am in control of what I eat, if nothing else!

Hope you feel better and things pick up for you and your husband soon.

Amanda xx

Hi MrsK,

Sorry to hear about your DH being out of work and now you are out of insurance, too.

Rather than turning to food, use this as motivation. Obviously you don't want to get sick and cause more worry, both emotionally and financially for your family. If you don't lose weight, or even gain more, you may be putting yourself and your family in that very position. Use this letter. Post it on your fridge and hate it. Prove to it that you CAN and you WILL lose weight and then they will have to insure you. You will be healthier and you will be contributing to your family's well being, too, not just your own.

No matter if we weigh 150, 200, 300, or more....each one of us struggles daily with finding the motivation to eat right and exercise. You are not alone. We're here to support you through the lows and celebrate your victories with you.

I have no words of wisdom or any health insurance to offer you...
only love and support. I have been where you are before and it SUCKS. Even my husbands company insurance did not want to cover me either. Fortunately his bosses told them if they didn't cover me they would take their ENTIRE business elsewhere. I was ever so grateful ... but embarrassed for my husband.

Keep your chin up and stand PROUD.
Do what is in front of you to do each day and that weight will come off. Encourage your husband to keep trying and hopefully a new job will come his way soon.

{{{ HUGS }}}

Hi....I'm so sorry for your problems. Believe me, I know how you can get down at times like this.

Not comparing problems...but, we had a housefire last November...& like you...I wanted food for comfort. I gained 40 lbs in 6 months! Now, I'm having to fight to get it off. It didn't help my situation at all...didn't build my house back (still don't have it)....didn't cheer me up...just made me fat! It's been a real struggle to get the weight back off, & I wouldn't want that for you, or anyone else.

The insurance situation is familiar also. My husband is self-employed....we can't find ins for him. He's very healthy....looked everywhere. There's all kinds of ads for self-employment ins...but, can't get a response. He's been without for a long time.

I'm just telling you this so you'll know....I DO understand. I can't remedy your problems......but you will be in my prayers.

Dear K --

My husband is out of work too. Has been since May...and this is not the first time. About 13 years ago, he was laid off and he was in and out of jobs for 7 years (this is not typical, so I wouldn't worry). I had to get a job back then because we had a two-year-old and no health insurance. Luckily, I found a job right away with good insurance. But over the years, out of frustration and exhaustion working and caring for a little one, I gained about 50 lbs. Who knows if I would've gotten insurance if I didn't get the job when I did. (Ins. companies assume that all fat people are unhealthy or will get sick. I know a really skinny-minnie who had to be rushed to the hospital because her arteries were severelly blocked. Some folks are just predestined regardless).
Insurance company can really suck (pardon!). You may want to contact NAAFA -- National Association to Aid Fat Americans (hate that name) -- to see what they say about getting coverage and who might cover you.

It's going to be tough going, and whether you weight 150 or 300, do take care of yourself. Don't think so much about "dieting" than about making better choices for yourself. Find lower calorie versions of your favorite foods, put larger portions of veggies on your plate and smaller of the more calorically dense stuff, take a walk if you are feeling frustrated, sad or angry. This last one I found to be my salvation because I find that when I do walk, especially on a nice morning, I feel mentally better. Once you make better choices, you may find that you'll lose weight naturally (albeit a bit slowly), but it will seem painless.

I still have about 20-30 lbs. to go before I'd be truly happy with my body -- I've lost 60 so far a few years ago and have kept them off -- but I have not suffered any major or minor illness (even colds!) in years. My cholesterol isn't bad and I've been told I have the heart of a woman half my age (I'm 47).

Keep your head high. I'll be thinking about you. Wunda

I know it is tough but hang in there! I am sure things will turn around for you soon. Have patience and FAITH! One thing that should inspire you and NOT depress you is this is a VERY VERY good reason to get the weight off. We have been without health insurance and I know how scary that was and it was just the two of us. You are in my prayers and I know something great is just around the corner for you!

Faye

Don't be too hard on yourself, there is nothing you can do about the past, and weight speaks to the past actions we have taken. You can change today in making better choices, you can change tomorrow.

Society sucks in how it treats people who are overweight, like they don't have issues or problems. Let me tell you, the worse body conversations that I have ever heard were from a group of gorgeous, beautiful size 00 actresses and models here in Los Angeles. Their body image and self loathing was worst than mine ever was, at 90 pounds overweight!

Things work out, they always do. Money comes and goes, but love, family those are the things that are priceless.....

Hang in there.