My mood is just so up and down now, and my GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) is in full force. I have hardly started losing anything but I keep finding myself crippled by the thought of having loose skin. I mean I don't expect that I will be firm and tight like I was at 18 yo, but I mean big sagging folds of skin. A lot is because just in the last few months when I put those last 15 lbs on or so my stomach started to hang over and my inner thighs got really flabby and rub together uncomfortably. Obviously giving up and getting bigger won't help, but just the FEAR of the prospect of MAYBE is killing my motivation.
I KNOW it is irrational, but that is GAD for you. My mind gets latched onto one worry or thought and blows it out of proportion. I even was dreaming about it. I'm sure so many others on here have this same fear. I guess at the root is just that old low self worth and self loathing and anger at myself for putting myself here in the first place. The little voice in my head that says I am fat and ugly and if I lose weight I will still be ugly with gross saggy skin. I try to tune it out but I have listened to it for so long it is difficult. It goes down to the core of how I feel about myself and why I gained so much in the first place, why I use food to fill that emptiness in myself.
Sorry to be such a downer this morning, and no offense to anyone who may have some loose skin. I just feel like I need to bring my fears into the forefront, maybe it won't be so scary anymore. I want to stay committed to this journey no matter what, and to not sabotage myself like I have in the past. I'm almost crying just writing this down. I'm realizing more now, that losing the weight is only part of the battle for me, so much is mental. That is why I have had so much yo-yo'ing in the past. As long as I am in a good place in my head I lose, but as soon as I am anxious, feeling low, I just don't care and put all the weight back on. I'd like to break the cycle once and for all!
When our fears paralyze us there is not much a diet can do to help. That little nagging voice you mention is the real culprit of your fears. We all have a little nagging voice and the mistake most people make is to actually listen to it. You may think that voice is your inner self but it is not. Doubt and fear are not inherent traits of your personality, they are random thoughts that may or may not be engaged with.
Obviously thinking that you want to stop weightloss because of the potential for future loose skin is not quite logical. So why give credence to that thought? A thought only has power if you focus on it. If you begin to ignore such thoughts they will fade into the background with the other non important thoughts we have. And remember, negative thoughts are not "you."
Thanks for the response Palestrina. For me, this is where the struggle with my weight and the struggle with my anxiety and fear intermingles. There is a rational part of my brain that KNOWS that my fears are irrational/illogical. I have not let it derail my weight loss yet, but it is still a struggle for me. Hopefully when I get back into exercising some more I will feel better about my fears and weight and life in general. I need some endorphins stat!
When it comes to aesthetics only - what you might loose with the potential loose skin, you will gain with the added gracefulness when you can move around with so much more ease, and then some.
Anxiety is such a horrible emotion. Are there ever any things you can do that help you feel better? Deep Breathing? Talking to friends? Listening to music? Gardening? Movies? Reading a book? If you don't have anything, think of something you enjoy and try doing that. Have you ever tried yoga (especially gentle yoga).
Loose skin- I've had 2 babies and am in my mid 30s. Oh yes, I have loose tummy skin and the girls aren't as perky, especially when I'm at goal weight, but it's still better to have the loose skin than my tummy that gets in the way when I'm trying to tie my shoe, or a body that's too weak and tired it can't keep up with my kids.
I hope you feel better, I know it's a constant struggle. Posting here was a really good idea for support! You are worth it
I hate the loose skin I get (and I do get it), but... my husband loves me - loose skin and all and he is WAY more attracted to me when I am thinner (and baggy in my skin) than when I'm heavy and have the skin filled out. HE finds me beautiful. It's me who gets hung up on it (though I've gotten better about it). AND not everyone gets loose skin and many who do, find it shrinks up over time (just like after having a baby).
pigeon - you are correct, the benefits will outweigh the (potential) effects, it is an irrational fear I know
HIheart - I HATE having anxiety, been suffering with it since I was 15. I am sooo much better at coping with it now and it doesn't consume me like it used to. Sometimes I still just get a worry that won't go away. I do think posting my fear "out loud" here was great. I feel better already. Gonna keep busy tonight and then have a nice hot bath and read a while before bed.
berryblondeboys - wish we could always love ourselves the way our family loves us! I do have to remind myself that my skin still has elasticity and is not just a sausage casing that will deflate when removed lol. I plan on losing nice and slow so I think my skin will have some time to adapt.
Kids def cause loose skin. I have a spot in my tummy I thought about going to get removed with some scar revision. But I have to remind myself that 30 #s ago when this loose skin was a"filled in" with fat, my ankles hurt, I couldn't play with my son, and I certain,ply didn't fit in size 10 pants.
You won't know until you try whether you will have much, if any. Your body will be much happier and you likely will too. Maybe you need to be worked up for meds for your anxiety disorder,that may also help.
Loose skin mostly comes down to genetics, but there are things you can do to prevent the loose skin. Such as lotions, drinking a lot of water, and exercising. As others have said, loose skin is better than fat in my opinion!
Try not to let the fear and anxiety associated with the loose skin get you down too much. Everyone is different and you may not find yourself with much or it may not bother you as much as you're anticipating.
I'm a really anxious person who ended up with lots of loose skin but for some reason it's never bothered me. It doesn't show in clothes and I've never regretted losing the weight.
Nicki, I have taken meds in the past but haven't for a while. I always say if the anxiety starts to get bad again I'll consider going back on. Gonna try to work through it for now.
Terrified of getting loose skin!
