A rule I now live by is "what other people think of me is none of my business".

Wow thanks for all of the opinions. This is why I'm so happy that I found this website. I agree with what everybody is saying. I understand now that I did feel hurt bc I felt like he saw me as different. I am pretty sure that I was already in not such a great mood. In my 12 days since starting this journey I feel like a pregnant women with crazy mood swings or a 13 year old girl with raging hormones. I agree with posts that had the opposite sentiment as the earlier replies. I just need to get over it and learn to now bc I know I'm gonna get more comments positive and negative. Thank you all so much for your comments. I really just wanted to know if anybody else had these feelings so maybe I could get some insight. At the time i was confused but knew i was mad. Lol. Now I have answers.

Great post kiwi.

You are awesome!

Thanks

Rock on, Kiwi. Glad to hear my post didn't cause offense. Hope tomorrow and the next day are better, less rollercoaster-y, less angry/hangry days!

Hi. Here's how I see it. A trigger is a trigger. I, for myself do not have to always assign blame or fault. What is accurate and painfully real is that I was triggered. And it was horrible.

If you are looking for a suggestion , and sometimes I am not, I do like what FairyGaia said. Meridian Tapping (often called EFT) can be helpful to de-fuse old feelings, triggers and patterns. (Perhaps a great way to, In your words "get over with it") Because with tapping when things come up again, with another trigger there is a way to move through it. I personally cannot do it without a practitioner. But there are some folks who have great luck tapping alone.

I am sorry for that trigger. I totally can see why it would cause that in many people.

Great suggestion. And for the record, unless you are being an *** hole when posting a comment, I will not take offense. I like hearing various points of view to help me assess what is going on from every angle. Thanks everybody.

The calorie restriction needed to lose weight can definitely have this effect on people. When not dieting, I'm one of the calmest, easiest going people on the planet, but the fewer calories I consume, the more impatient and irrational I get (and the less likely I am to be aware that the problem lies with me. It feels like everyone else is being the jerk).

I've seen this effect in other people too. Hubby and I have difficulty dieting "together" for this very reason. The line between helping and meddling isn't always easy to see in any situation, let alone when emotions are swirling just under the surface.

Great thread and I just wanted to mention something that I've increasingly noticed about the phrase "I'm so proud of you."

I'm a much-older-than-usual undergraduate college student pursuing a second degree. People that I talk to about this, even casually, such as a store clerk who also is an adult student, have quite a few times used that phrase: "I'm so proud of you." Plus I've heard others use it in conversations at various times.

I just think it is a common phrase used casually these days. In the past, it would have connoted that the speaker felt they had a "right" to be proud of the other person and that could have been taken as a feeling of superiority coming from someone whom one does not know or know well. But it has come to be just a light, friendly, "Have a nice day" kind of thing.

The journey to a healthy life, is a long one! And it is different for all of us.

However, some things are the same.

Feel free to correct any of my thoughts, or to interject any opinion. This is how we learn.

Personally, I don't think the person, who said, "proud of you" meant to upset you.

Thing is, along the way, most, not all, have become so used to bullying ourselves, and being so negative, we have forgotten, anything, positive about ourselves, and how to gracefully, and positively accept a compliment.

Accepting a compliment, is hard to do, when you see yourself as bad, instead of good, positive, strong, etc.

Give yourself, a high 5, for doing the right things, and give, the "other person", a break, and take the positive intended message!

Sometimes the way that words make us feel have more to do with us than it has to do with the person saying them. They're triggers, as others have pointed out. It's an opportunity to learn about ourselves, the OP seems to have been surprised at how these words made her feel and she has every right to. She WILL get over it and doesn't need to be told to get over it, but when the feeling of anger comes it's more useful to try to figure out what prompted the anger than just "getting over it" because it will be back.

On a feminist note, I would have reacted in anger in the same way as if someone on the street asked me to smile - which is something that happens all the time to women. Even though the person saying it may not mean it as a harmful statement it is crossing a boundary and expecting a woman to look a certain way to please others. I think if a total stranger told me he was proud of me I'd be angry too, I would feel violated, like he was pointing out a flaw. It is absolutely a microaggression. But when the anger is gone and you know what triggered it you're much better equipped to handle the situation better next time.

A NICE thing to say would be "good afternoon, it's a lovely day for a walk isn't it?" or "you've inspired me to go for a walk too."

Yes, as Palestrina just pointed out, there are definite problems of sexism in a man saying something like that to a woman, especially a stranger. We've all had too much in this culture of men taking control of or feeling entitled to women's bodies.

I think they're right about how this incident is a combination of the OP's issues and the man's behaviour. I just wanted to add one thing. Perhaps the OP was responding to an instinct, perhaps the man was sending out creeper vibes. In which case, she's absolutely right to be listening to them. Women generally suppress such reactions, which isn't the best idea. If a strange man comes up and comments on your body, yes, that's a boundary violation, and yes, you should be more wary. Hopefully it's nothing worse than a man who doesn't realise why it's inappropriate to make that comment, and doesn't understand how it feels to a woman to be treated like that, rather than someone who's an actual threat. But it's always sensible to be safe. Listen to your instincts.

I totally agree that women are always told to get over it and let it go. When an instinctive feeling arises we are built to feel it. Maybe she was angry because she realized she was be watched, observed, judged and then commented on. It feels intrusive, because he was obviously talking about her weight in relation to her activity. I'm sure she wouldn't felt anger if them man commented on how cute the dog is or what lovely weather we were having. Nope, it was her specifically and well intended or not, that's creepy.

And so what exactly does the OP do about that?

With this line of reasoning I should be punching the cr@p out of the next person that asks "if I am ill?" or "am I having an affair?" as a response to my weightloss.

And both of those comments came from women!

I'm afraid we just have to suck it up. Unlike marriage problems or other issues we hide behind doors, our weightloss is on show so it does become everyone's business whether we like it or not.

I'm sure he meant well by it but I would be upset by something like that. I had someone say something along the lines of "you're doing a good job" to me while jogging around a track before. As if because I am bigger I am not capable of exercising like smaller people.

I wouldn't read into it too much, he was trying to say something nice and the words probably just came out wrong.