I'm sure I'm not the first person to be in this situation- I really need help getting out of the hole I'm digging myself!
Since giving birth I've gained a ton (not literally) of weight. While I was still up about 15 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, thanks to turning to chocolate, candy, and all sorts of junk food for comfort and reward for the long days at home with a colicky baby, I've gained an additional 15 pounds in a very short period of time. I'm to the point where I feel so gross and unhealthy that I know I want to change, but the frustration of having back-tracked so far is another huge stressor that makes it hard to be motivated to start trying to lose the weight again! So I end up feeling hopeless and giving in to the bad bingeing habits again. Not to mention noticing how much larger my body is now feels so awful I eat to deal with those feelings to, nonsensically!
What do you do or tell yourself to get past that frustration of feeling fat and a failure?
No matter first or whatever, a new baby, creates, a lot of stress. Hormones, sleepless nights, colic, diapers, sore girls, bottles, and on and on!
Relax! Solve the colic thing first. I'm old, like really old. I have grandkids! I know that doctors and pediatricians, and a lot of stuff has changed like crazy, since my kids were born, but a thought, for the colic, pick up some canned goats milk. Most grocery stores carry it, near the canned "Pet" milk. 1/4 to 1/2 goats milk with water. It's amazing!
In the meantime, just be patient. Your hormones are all over the place, you're not getting enough sleep and so on. Been there done that with twin babies!
I wasn't sure, I was gonna live through all of that, but I did. And I have 4 AMAZING grandkids!
Calm down, take a breath, and enjoy the ride! You only get this experience once for each child you have.
Shciref, thank you for that uplifting comment so quickly! I know I ought to give myself a break (yes, it is my first baby) and just focus on enjoying and getting through it. It's nice to hear from someone who's already got plenty of experience, and thanks for the milk tip! Unfortunately I've never seen any goats milk where I live, but I'll keep an eye out anyway!
Since this is your first baby, relax! It will be ok. Our bodies throw us for such a loop, it's practically insane, with hormones, lack of sleep, my hair fell out like crazy, crying babies.
It's ok!
I know, that there is no way that you can really explain to me how you feel right now. Just, like, I could never really explain to anyone, how I felt for the first 6 months of having twins!
Enjoy this experience! You only get it one time! The rest will fall into place, as time goes on!
Congratulations on the new baby! It can be very tough, I remember when my son was an infant we were in fear of 7pm, for some reason he would start wailing at 7 on the dot every night! Best thing we ever did was get an electric swing. But do realize that it does end and baby will be happy and smiley soon enough.
All I can suggest is walk walk walk, strap the baby on with a moby wrap and walk in the fresh air, it does the both of you good and really helps with ppd.
Don't ever think that you are a failure. Start slowly if you would like to shed extra pounds. Avoid junk food. Exercise and get enough sleep. According to Eve Van Cauter, director of the Sleep, Metabolism and Health Center at the University of Chicago
"There is no doubt that insufficient sleep promotes hunger and appetite, which can cause excessive food intake resulting in weight gain,"
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
- Theodore Roosevelt
Thanks for the comment bruce. Unfortunately sleep is one thing I'm not going to get for a while yet with a hungry little baby! I feel like that the tiredness definitely does lead to more cravings for food, but on the other hand, just realizing that can help me make better decisions.
And thanks Palestrina. Yes, I'm slowly figuring out what works for my daughter too (for us the Jumperoo, and the Ergo for naps, have been the lifesavers!), and she's slowly becoming a more normal human too, haha. I do love walking. That's definitely the one healthy thing I can be proud of doing plenty of every day!
You know....a lot of people on here have failed a lot before they got it right. Look how many of us have been members for 5+ years! yet we still aren't at our goal or we are starting over or gained some weight.
It's just life happens and sometimes we haven't figured out what works for the new situation.
I say enjoy your baby, enjoy your walks with your baby. Try finding healthy meals you like. I remember the nightmare breast feeding was for me. I could never fill him up enough to detach the boob. I'd be studying, and he'd cry while I took a shower. He didn't sleep, he was always hungry so I didn't sleep. I had to switch to formula because we were both miserable. I wanted to cut my husband when he complained about having to pay for formula, I was carrying 15 units and working full time night shift.
You are succeeding at breast feeding and you are keeping this little human alive and healthy.
Frankly that trumps most things. And When that baby starts running, your chasing her will likely result in some new found cardio.
Well, failing is completely normal, don't forget that! But personally, I try (I don't always succeed haha) to take a five minute thinking moment before binging. Like, is it really worth it? Will I be satisfied with a small portion? Or will I keep wanting to eat it and then eat something else because it wasn't worth the binge? Is it just a temporary thing, can I pass it off? If I ate something bad yesterday already, is it really worth it today and the guilt I'll feel later? If I do feel okay with a small amount, I'll go for it, but if not, I'll try to pass it off.
I also ask help from people around me. I tell my parents not to buy the junk food I love, or to hold me back when I go overboard. I don't like it when they do, but I'm very glad they did afterwards!
For exercise, instead of thinking about it more, I just try to think less. Just a "dude, seriously, get up", a self reminder that I feel great after a workout and awful if I skip it. That I don't need to do 110%, that even if I can't do everything it's better than no workout. I'll usually set a time, like okay, at 2:30 I will absolutely get up to go, no excuses.
Also, I usually remind myself that binging/skipping workouts won't get me any closer to my goal, that I'll just feel worse than I do already if I feel bad about my progress. And I try to remind myself to enjoy the journey! That I just wanted to enjoy eating well and moving and being stronger, to forget the progress for awhile. Being positive can be hard but it's really worth it! (:
I find that quitting or falling off of my diet plan usually occurs when something stressful is going on in my life. If I can identify that stress I can get my focus back.
Good luck to you!
What a beautiful baby!
Last edited by WildflowerGirl; 04-07-2015 at 09:00 PM.
I don't have any baby tips (congratulations though!), but I struggled a lot for about eight months before getting it together.
The one thing that has made me confident and comfortable and much more certain about the chance for success is that I constantly focus on taking baby steps toward that which I aspire to.
First, I tackled exercise, because that is the easiest thing for me to add in. I just followed a program of online videos (FitnessGlo, but there are plenty of great vids on YouTube, too). I figured that equipment-free videos gave me no excuse - I could exercise in my apartment without shoes or a shirt . The videos were 30-45 minutes and the only thing I committed myself to every day. It was stressful sometimes, because I was in such great shape at this time last year. I stuck with it and told myself to just be thankful for the new thing that I accomplished or did better than the day before.
About two weeks later, I decided to try focusing on my food a little more. Since I'd come up with a lot of excuses in the past, I tried to make it as easy on myself as possible. I prepped a few weeks worth of food and put it in the freezer. It gave me variety, saved weekday time, and made it impossible to say that fast food could really be faster (or tastier!).
Six weeks along into my exercise program, I decided I was bored with the videos and ventured into my own thing. I've been having a lot of fun tweaking things since then.
I think the single thing that has really been making me successful, after taking those baby steps of making success as absolutely easy as possible, was being mindful. When it comes to eating, that meant thinking about my hunger - if I wasn't sure, I made some tea, waited 20 minutes or so after finishing, then asked myself again. If I was feeling the urge to eat as many calories as possible, which was a real and constant struggle for me, I would do the same thing, or I'd gently remind myself that I had planned something wonderful and that the time for it was soon (usually within 10-20 mins). I'd focus on how excited I was about that thing I'd prepared until I could get to it. When I ate, I'd focus on my satiation level and how much I was truly enjoying the experience of something I'd prepared. This was a huge contrast to my previous behavior of scarfing down the cheesiest, potatoiest, deep friediest thing I could find in response to stress/having long intervals between meals (which is a stressor for my body).
In regards to exercise, I also treated myself gently. I tried not to focus on where I'd been in the past, and instead marveled on each new accomplishment or feeling or on even just getting out of bed to do my scheduled workout. I thanked my body and tried to respect it and focused on giving as much love to myself for whatever tiny reason I could think of.
All that helps me to celebrate early and often. Eat a few more veggies today? Yay! Do a quick workout after a happy hour? Go me! Eat or exercise consistently for two weeks in a row? Better break out the streamers!
I do apologize for the long post, but I hope that you can find in it some strategies to help you achieve what you're after. In sum:
1) Baby steps (small goals) 2) Make it easy 3) Celebrate early and often
Hang in there. This is a lot of changes in a short amount of time.
You did not mention when the baby was born, but original post was April 4.
If baby is still really little, let's say under a year, this is a lot of changes to your body and lifestyle, to absorb, in a short amount of time.
Take a breath! One thing at a time! It will work out!
In the mean time, practice "positive" thoughts! You just made a human! Your body is amazing! Embrace it! Love it! Be patient! Men, can't do what we do! We are amazing!
For me, becoming a mother was the most amazing and the hardest thing I have ever been through. I remember being consumed with my first, and eating whatever was easiest. Gosh, just getting a shower was an amazing accomplishment. If I could go back, I would have probably tried to meal prep.
Life always gets in the way of our goals. All you can do is start fresh tomorrow. Take the word failure out of it, negative self talk can be just as damaging to your weight loss efforts as a box of cookies!!!
I agree with the walking suggestion. I had planned walks everyday, but whenever the baby got fussy I'd grab the carrier and go. And because the baby is constantly adding weight, you never have to consciously adjust your workout.
I remember the constant hunger from nursing. Hubby used to tell, well, everyone to watch their fingers and toes around me because I was starving! But the key there is to only have healthy food around. Your metabolism is so revved up from nursing that if you can just eat a little smarter you'll be amazed at how the weight comes off. And if it takes a little while, relax! Enjoy the baby, get to your new normal for life, and then tackle the weight.
Need help stopping giving up
Solve the colic thing first. I'm old, like really old. I have grandkids! I know that doctors and pediatricians, and a lot of stuff has changed like crazy, since my kids were born, but a thought, for the colic, pick up some canned goats milk. Most grocery stores carry it, near the canned "Pet" milk. 1/4 to 1/2 goats milk with water. It's amazing! 
. The videos were 30-45 minutes and the only thing I committed myself to every day. It was stressful sometimes, because I was in such great shape at this time last year. I stuck with it and told myself to just be thankful for the new thing that I accomplished or did better than the day before.
