I've struggled with my weight for most of my life, and have had binge eating issues that still pop up occasionally, usually triggered by stress.
I've worked really hard on my lifestyle change and have lost just shy of 100 pounds. I have a fairly rigid plan with daily exercise and mostly the same foods (my choice - I don't like much variety). Well, the holidays are coming up. High stress. Tons of travel, staying in other people's homes, being away from my "usual foods", lots of meals out in restaurants, lots of stressful visiting/parties, etc. (I'm not very social and get social anxiety in big groups).
In years past, I've gone to a local gym every morning to help keep my sanity, but my eating always goes out of control. I get stressed, and I nibble. I graze. I bake. I start ordering cheeseburgers in restaurants for every meal. I usually put on 3 pounds over Thanksgiving, then there's my birthday, several other birthdays BOOM BOOM BOOM, then an extended time away again at Christmas, and that's usually another 5 - 6 pounds.
I don't want to go through it this year. I want to be able to go through all of these mini-stresses, eat normally, have an occasional treat, and at least maintain.
Does anyone have any tips, tricks, or tools to share about getting through the holidays without a huge stressful weight gain?
Are we twins? I have social anxiety (nobody would EVER guess) and it makes me want to comfort eat. I also have my bday around the holidays and just last year around this time I was 160 and by April I was more than 193 (don't recall exactly).
I don't know what would work for you. I actually just asked my husband if we could cancel Thanksgiving. I wish I was kidding, but I'm not. He said no so I have to figure out a way to deal with it all.
Here's what I plan to do: I will avoid anything with sugar and flour. I do that anyway, but I thought I'd mention it to you. If you think about the foods at the holidays, the biggest calorie bombs are the ones that have either sugar or flour or both. If you just have meat and salad, it might not be ideal, but it won't be as bad.
Working out is also a huge stress reliever for me as well. I highly recommend you stick with your workouts. I also recommend avoiding alcohol. It leads to bad decisions (for me anyway) and it just has empty calories.
Find way to take time out for yourself....even if it's just going to the ladies room!
If there's drama, just try to live in a state of acceptance. I try not to get involved in matters that I have little control over. I can only control myself and my reactions so I try to be calm and peaceful and let the rest go as it will.
Congrats to you on your weight loss! You clearly know what it takes. The last thing I'll say is that even if you gain a bit of weight, most of it will be sodium and if you can get right back on track every chance you get, you won't have to repeat your past...you can learn from it. That's my goal...not to make the same mistakes I made in the past. Good luck to us both!
Holidays are stressful in many ways for a lot of people, whether it's the financial obligations, social gatherings, diet worries, and having to spend time with family, it can all be a little much. I think it's helpful to make a list of all the things you want to experience and participate in that will make the holidays less stressful for you. It can't all be bad right?
So for example, maybe you really enjoy going to your cousin's house for their annual holiday party. So go to that one and maybe skip all the others - and don't feel guilty about it! Why go if you won't enjoy yourself? Just keep going down your list and find ways out of the things you don't want to do while making sure to indulge in the things you do want to do.
In regards to the constant nibbling, I find that if I have a really good satisfying breakfast it keeps me from snacking all day long. I choose my treats wisely and by wisely I mean I eat it when I'm actually hungry. If I'm not technically hungry I tell myself I can eat some of it later.
Oh, I would *love* to skip some of the parties. It's for my husband, though. He has a HUGE extended family and we live pretty far from them. So every day it's getting together with a different big group of people. Skip the party, don't get to see the people. I would still skip several, but the family we stay with is super social and they go to all the parties. I usually can plead headache for ONE party, but the next day, another party. There's just no avoiding them.
My plan right now is to take it meal by meal and just try to do the best I can. If I end up stress eating, I'm not going to beat myself up - just start over again. Hey, the holidays won't be around again for a whole year!
That sounds rough! I hope you do dind some enjoyment even if you can't get out of it. Just remember, don't eat it if it doesn't bring you true pleasure. Nurse a drink or nurse an appetizer for as long as you can, just cause you're at a party doesn't mean you are obligated to eat more than you really want to.
And stick to that good breakfast, it will keep you sated and not preoccupied with food all day.
I maintain 116, easily and without stress, by eating 1,700+ calories a day even without too much exercise. I eat what I want, for the most part, making sure the majority of my choices are nutritious but allowing myself to have "junk" too. I also only exercise when I want to, and change my workout depending on what I feel like.
Moderation in diet and exercise allows me to not stress when the holidays roll around. Since I feel like I can have some Christmas cookies and the extra little weight gain wont bother me much.
[My plan right now is to take it meal by meal and just try to do the best I can.
Sounds like a fabulous plan to me.
It's not just the holidays, but year round we're going to find ourselves in situations that are beyond our control except for the choice to make the best choice we can make in that moment. Sometimes the best choice in that moment is to cut ourselves a little slack and indulge. I would agree with what's already been said about making sure that what you indulge in is what really rings your bell and you enjoy it thoroughly: no guilt allowed.
I've gained 10 lbs and more over previous holiday seasons, but it wasn't because I overindulged on Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and New Years. It wasn't even because of indulging on the holidays and at parties. It was because I overindulged constantly. Every chance I got. Like no one was ever going to bake Christmas cookies again. I ate until I was in physical and emotional pain.
This time will be different because now I know the difference between treating myself with food and mistreating myself with food. You sound as though you've learned the difference as well, and although the holidays are more challenging, you can absolutely come out of them feeling good about how you've treated yourself.
BTW, I am very socially anxious as well and I think nibbling sometimes has as much to do with needing something to do with my hands as anything else ( smoking used to be my answer for that ). I bring a water bottle with me to social functions and sip at it until I'm ready to bust. You might also try carrying a worry stone in your pocket or something that soothes your anxiety.
Streudel, that's such a good point. It's all in the mindset. Not indulging every single chance I get, no matter how stressed/busy I am. Just having one little treat a day. And keeping busy with a bottled water. Good idea!
I just try to eat what I normally eat. Yes, there may be a bit of extra garnish here and there but it's perfectly doable. I eat salad and fish most days at home.
So, if I go out to a restaurant I eat fish. Maybe not with salad but I keep most of what I normally eat the same. For dessert, I normally do not take this but always go for ice cream if I have to.
So I just make smart choices. Yeah, they're not my first best ideal choice, but a good second best. And never a cheeseburger.
Just make the best choices you can in the situation you are in. And you won't gain.
You seem to know, all of the things coming up, that "can" be a challenge.
Realistically, how many days are going to be an issue?
Most likely, 10 out of the next 60 or so.
Instead of looking at the "BIG" picture. Break it down into the days/time that will be, for you, your biggest challenge, and then, break that down, and make a *reasonable* plan.
Also, there is nothing wrong with saying "NO!"
As the holidays approach, I do have a plan, the same one I've had for years.
I love turkey! A bit of gravy, and home made mashed taters, a small serving of sweet potatoes. But after that, if it's not real special, it's not worth it. I skip the roll and butter. I skip the pumpkin pie, I also skip the pecan pie. but my sisters peanut butter pie! A half slice! That is enough. But it is to die for and we only get it once a year!
The other 2 things I will splurge on are, one serving of egg nog, and one serving of home made Greek baklava.
I stay cognizant, that I need to get in my exercise.
It's all about balance, and how that works for each of us!
Occasionally I resolve not to consume anything except unadorned raw vegetables and wine at a party. I do this if I know there will be lots of food but nothing truly extraordinary. I actually find it easier to have such firm boundaries than to just tell myself to be "reasonable." I'm less preoccupied with food and more focused on the people.
Truthfully, every single day will be a challenge. It's the constant visiting that wears me down. Christmas, anyway, is 9 or 10 solid days of it. So it's high level stress the entire time. I used to cry myself to sleep every night from sheer exhaustion. My husband is a saint and is so supportive, and I feel terrible that I'm so miserable when we visit his family. He's crazy about them and only gets to see them this one time a year. It's gotten better. I now set aside quiet time, and skip one of the parties. But it's still pretty tense for me. Not being able to eat my regular food is a big deal for me, and I don't like being out of my routine. In the past I was also stressed because his entire family (huge extended family included) is incredibly fit, and I was over 100 pounds overweight and felt so conspicuous. At least this year that won't be an issue, so I'm hopeful that will really help! But since I have such a bland palate, it makes it difficult at restaurants and staying with other people. Anyway, I'm planning on small indulgences and LOTS of quiet time!
Truthfully, every single day will be a challenge. It's the constant visiting that wears me down. Christmas, anyway, is 9 or 10 solid days of it. So it's high level stress the entire time. I used to cry myself to sleep every night from sheer exhaustion. My husband is a saint and is so supportive, and I feel terrible that I'm so miserable when we visit his family. He's crazy about them and only gets to see them this one time a year. It's gotten better. I now set aside quiet time, and skip one of the parties. But it's still pretty tense for me. Not being able to eat my regular food is a big deal for me, and I don't like being out of my routine. In the past I was also stressed because his entire family (huge extended family included) is incredibly fit, and I was over 100 pounds overweight and felt so conspicuous. At least this year that won't be an issue, so I'm hopeful that will really help! But since I have such a bland palate, it makes it difficult at restaurants and staying with other people. Anyway, I'm planning on small indulgences and LOTS of quiet time!
Sometimes we paint ourselves into corners and it sounds like this arrangement is causing you more heartache than anything. How can your husband be having such a good time knowing you're so miserable? It doesn't seem worth it to me. I don't know your family dynamics so from my pov it sounds like you really don't want to be there and life is too short to be doing something you don't like. Can't you go for fewer days? And then allow your husband to visit his family on his own some other time of year? Can you trade off years? One year go there and the following year go on a real vacation away from all family?
My husband's relatives live painfully close to us and so I have to set up a lot of boundaries. If he wants to go see them he can go on his own, I used to feel obligated to go with him but now I'm over it. He's the only one who enjoys being there while I can't wait to get out of there. So I only go every once in a while.
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Lots of good suggestions here. Thanksgiving isn't much of a problem for me since it's only one day. Now that the family had dwindled down, I do most of the hosting so I am in control. Turkey and vegetables are healthy and I like them. I allow myself 1 carb selection, and most times that's stuffing, because it's something that I love than is not available to me most of the year. I can have potatoes anytime...same with bread or rolls. I concentrate on eating slowly. It helps to be the talker of the group. We wouldn't want to talk with our mouths full now would we? LOL
Christmas is tougher because there is so much visiting going on and it lasts a week or more. For parties, eat something before you go so you're not starving when you get there. If you go hungry, you will be more tempted to make bad choices. You can also take a dish with you that is something you like, and won't kill your diet. If you want a treat, have it and don't beat yourself up over it.
Don't let the host talk you into taking leftovers home. Since I usually host a lot, that is one of my tricks. I make sure I have a lot of containers available so people can take leftovers home. That way they aren't sitting here staring at me the next day.
I am not a big sweet eater, partially because of my diabetes, but I do a LOT of baking for Christmas. My husband and extended family love cookies. I bake dozens of several kinds....but after they are set out for my party, the leftovers go home with my guests. Most of them don't bake and love to get a tin of mine. So don't fall victim to people like me. LOL JUST SAY NO. If you can't say no to cookies, they usually freeze well. If you are able to have the self control, put them in the freezer and make them last or put them out and serve them when guests come to your house.
Frances, you have done a great job losing over 100 lbs! Even if you gain some weight over the holidays, you will be able to get back to your good eating plan afterwards and get it back off. Enjoy the holidays, and don't stress over it too much. You can do this!
I really don't have much of an issue with food during the holidays (alcohol, though...), but in order to keep from grazing on appetizers and other foods that are available, gum helps. You can't graze while chewing gum.
Holiday Eating Woes
A half slice! That is enough. But it is to die for and we only get it once a year!
