My fiance weighs a little more than I do but he's also a little taller, so truth be told we're really about the same size. Whatevs, he still think's I'm hot.

My last boyfriend was tall and lanky, never weighed more than about 170 in his life. I outweighed him for most of our relationship. Whatevs, he still thought I was hot.

Some guys like a heavier girl, believe it or not. My fiance is a chubby chaser who is watching me like a hawk to make sure I don't lose *too much* weight.

When I met my husband I weighed less than him, now I weigh more. He loves me no matter what weight I am. Yes, it's going to be a HUGE milestone for me when I weigh less than him again, but that's because it's something I care about, he couldn't care less as long as I am happy and healthy.

Trust your fella. He knows what he wants, and he wants you.

Theoretically we shouldn't worry about things like a significant other being bigger or even taller, but I totally can relate to your feelings. It really bugged me that I weighed more than my tall, thin dh. When I weighed more than him, I couldn't even bring myself to tell him how much I weighed. When I started losing weight I wrote down LOTS of mini-goals for myself. One of my goals was to be less than my dh. And WooHoo. I made it just a couple weeks ago! Make it a mini-goal. :-)

I would say, leave the media and the hype out of the equation, and take a look at the people around you.

Friends, family, co workers, people you see when you are out shopping or dining or whatever.

I think you will find that the "notion" you have in your head is not the norm.

One couple I know, she is 6' tall, he's 5'4". One other couple, he's a skinny guy, she out weighs him by at least a 100 pounds. Both couples are incredibly happy.

When it comes to long term relationships, there are a lot of things we have to learn to compromise on, deal with and accept.

We married very young. At 20, I had twin boys that were over 6#'s each. No more bikini for me.:dizzy::dizzy:

Later the DH, whacked off a couple of fingers in a freaky work accident.

I look at it like this, when I"m old and decrepit, wrinkled, half senile and riddled with arthritis and he's no better off, is this the guy I want to have coffee with on the deck every morning!:hug:

I realize the OP was a smaller size when she was friends w/ her current beau. But, some men just love big women. Like some women love burly men. Just a preference folks. When I lost weight, my bf gave me the "don't get too thin" warning. Said he doesn't like boney women, he likes curves.

You're doing yourself a disservice if you think a guy is overlooking the physical. Men generally don't bother with women they find unattractive. It's tough to fake attraction too, no matter how sparkling the personality.

No matter what your size, at some point, the man you're with decided you were hot and he wanted that. :)

I'm about 2 inches taller than my husband and I weigh about 140 pounds more. Yes, it's a hard thing to accept and it has made me feel insecure - he just says there's more of me to love. If the man in your life makes any kind of comment on your weight (other than to express health concerns), it's time to have a serious sit-down to think about the kind of man he really is. Weight is only skin-deep (sorry for the cliche) and what really matters is who you are inside. You are your own worst critic, so chances are he sees you in a far better light than you see yourself.

Alright, thanks for all these posts guys. I still can't say I've gotten over it, that will take time and I think getting down to my goal weight will contribute immensely to that. Even more so when I get to my goal weight and things like this will be difficult to notice then. But again, I appreciate all the support on this matter that I now realize is semi-silly (and probably all in my head from the hype of the media), some of those posts really made my day too. :D

You've got a lot of great advice already, I just wanted to add my experience.

When I meet my husband we were teenagers, I was overweight and he was a skinny little guy. I remember thinking how it was too bad he was such a slim guy, because I liked guys with a little more bulk and I didn't like how much bigger than him I was myself. (Superficial as it is, we all have certain things that physically attract us to others).

A few years later he had hit his twenties and started working construction. I had lost some weight and we started dating. I was now smaller than him.

A few years after that I put weight back on (I had lost it in a really unhealthy way) and was bigger than him again.

Now I've lost weight and am smaller than him again. Weighing less than him was one of my unofficial goals.

Throughout our relationship it never mattered to him if I weighed less or more than him. I'm pretty sure I was the only one aware of it. I'm pretty sure its just another form of pressure women put on themselves that doesn't really have any foundation.

See, THIS bothers me too. Why does weight, either high OR low have to figure in to it at all? Men (or women) have no business putting ANY qualifier on another person's weight. Obviously if a person were to develop an ED and had a genuine medical need to be counseled for their safety that is one thing, but otherwise it is NO ONES business what anyone else weighs, not even your spouse/fiance/SO. I wish people would just stop seeing the number on the scale when it comes to the appearance of another human being.

Amen!

One of my first serious boyfriends was 5'10" and about 120 lbs dripping wet. I was about 200 lbs when we lived together. I was always afraid I was going to crush the poor kid, but amazingly enough, never did. And, he had no issues with me clothed or unclothed!

My current fella is also 5'10" - he's known me for 11 years, while I ranged from 175 lbs to 230 lbs...and he fluctuates between 175-185 (depending on beer intake for the week). I think he honestly has no clue how much I weigh, but knows that I think it's too much. I will say last night, we were joking around about me getting down to 128 lbs (what the Atkins book says might be appropriate for my short stature). I asked if he would give me piggybacks everywhere, because I'd be so little and he thought it would be funny...

Really, I guess I'm just trying to say that in my experience, most guys honestly don't care. They're too excited about the prospect of a nakie lady to process how much she weighs.

In a perfect world, race education religion weight height hair/eye color etc would *not* matter. But, people are imperfect and we all have preferences. I've never been in a relationship with an obese man. I find them unattractive. I've *tried* dating significantly overweight men on occasion, had enjoyable conversations and marveled at their sparkling personalities. I can not get past the obesity. I like to see, visually that a man takes care of himself: haircut, exercise, clean fingernails etc.
Weight matters, to me. I think it matters to all of us in some respect, whether aesthetically, medically or otherwise. We're posting here because weight carries weight.

At least weight is something you can affect, change or control. With certain genetic factors, you're just outta luck. We've all been slighted or rejected for one reason or another, weight is just one possible reason on a potentially long list. So, if someone finds me too fat or skinny or tall or religious or whatever.... I Keep It Moving.

I'm about the same as my husband and I'm really concerned about weighing more than him

I've known my husband since I was 14. I was always heavier than him. It didn't bother me until we had kids and my skin didn't bounce back. He still loves me although we both desperately want me to lose weight. For me it's more that I don't like the way my body feels when were intimate. It takes all the focus I have not to be grossed out with myself. He loves me and he wants what is best for me. But I've read this a few times on this forum. He doesn't want me to get too skinny. Lose weight for your self.

When I first got married, I was about 120 lbs. My husband is about nine inches taller than me and, on a good day, weighs around 130. The most he has ever weighed was around 145. I weigh around 190 now, so I'm about 60 lbs heavier.

I have complained about my weight and being larger than him before. He would always tell me that his weight has been as much of a burden for him as mine is for me - only he can't change his weight. He was teased and beaten up as a kid, rejected by women, and berated by his larger father - all because he was thin. I wouldn't change a thing about him, and he loves me at every weight.

To the OP, I know that it's hard to look at your S.O. and not think "I should weigh less than him." But he might be look at you and think, "I should weigh more than her/have bigger muscles/have more hair." Your S.O. probably has his own insecurities. Instead of focusing on what you think you should look like as a couple, focus on supporting each other.