I too wonder if it's something hardwired or genetic vs. a learned behavior.
Before I started my current diet, my life revolved around food (I'd be thinking about what I was going to eat for lunch and/or dinner before I was done eating my breakfast). My husband isn't like that nor does he understand it. He can be at work at his office or working outside on the weekend and "forget" to stop for lunch. I have NEVER forgot to eat one meal in my life!
I also find that at least half (maybe more) of the "naturally thin" people I knew growing up (I'm 37 now) are no longer the thin people they were. Of course I will never know if it's diet or activity changes but I will assume both of those things contributed (more and/or poor food choices and decline in exercise time) and maybe they were never naturally thin in the first place. I was jealous thinking they were thin because it was God's gift to them but they actually worked their tails off to be that way.
Just a little O/T, yesterday I ran into the Avenue store since I don't live near one and I passed one in my travels. I was looking through the 14s and noticed a lady looking at me (I'm paranoid) while she was looking through the 28s. I'll never know what she was thinking but I wanted to tell her, I was a size 28 less than 9 months ago. I know what it feels like to be in that section. Obviously I'll never know what was on her mind but I did wonder if she thought I was "naturally a 14" and if she only knew how hard I had to work to get here!!
I think there might be a genetic component and a physical one.
I also think it's about habit and how we comfortable we are with being uncomfortable.
In the case of the husband and MIL who are fine going to bed without dinner -- that's something that I'm working on.
I'm clearly not going to starve if I miss lunch one day or I get home so late I might as well just eat a piece of fruit and go to bed. I'm still overweight!
And I am working on being comfortable with that. Yes, it's a habit that I have to eat three meals and snacks during the day, but that isn't working for me anymore. I was getting pretty comfortable with three meals a day with no snacks and that's an easier way to stay within my calories.
But that's psychological and individual -- can you be comfortable letting hunger exist in your stomach for an hour until dinner is ready? Sometimes I can be, sometimes I can't be (I have to watch it for myself because of blood sugar issues).
I agree. My mom told me that as an infant I would insist on having exactly twice as many bottles of formula as the doctor recommended. After each feeding I would raise h-e-l-l until I got that second bottle.
Freelance
Well, Freelance Momma, given your height, maybe that doctor didn't know how statuesque you were to become and was just plain wrong about how much formula you needed!! !
I don't really think there is such a thing as naturally thin or naturally heavy. Unless affected by a medical condition, folk are the weight they are as a result of physics, more or less, energy in/energy out, with some factors such as the type of food, habits & food personality factored in.
And like you, I've had a long history of eating "just because." How I envy those people who intuitively push away their plates when they've had "enough," whatever that is!
Freelance
Me, too. I have found out after losing 100 lbs and changing my eating habits to obtain that goal, that i have a very strong appetite and can eat great quantities of food. I simply am hungry often and it takes a lot for me to be satisfied, unlike my "naturally" slender friend who is able to eat very little and have it satisfy her. She also has very strong taste buds and if she doesn't love the food, she doesn't eat it. i only WISH i had even a normal appetite and that i was satisfied easily and that food didn't interest me that much!
I have a cousin who is naturally thin. she is 5'5 and weighs around 110 pounds and never seems to gain weight at all. she never watches what she eats or makes healthy choices. last week i saw her polish down a whole medium sized pepperoni pizza, breadsticks with a 2 liter of coke ! she eats likes this pretty regularly at least 7 or 8 times a week. her blood work is terrible, she is "skinny fat" with high cholestrol and stuff but her weight never changes ! she's like a black hole or something !
Last edited by Tibbits2u; 05-01-2013 at 07:00 PM.
Reason: spelling
It's like normal people at Thanksgiving - they stuff themselves and then they say "I won't be eating for days" and then they literally hardly eat anything the next day! Not me, everyday is Thanksgiving. One big meal does not affect my ability to eat a big meal later in the day or the next day.
I'm just the same. Your post reminded me of an early January restaurant dinner hosted by a skinny friend of mine. When we all sat down at the table (about 8 women), she announced, "I don't know about anyone else, but just the thought of food makes me gag right now, after all the Christmas parties." Unfortunately I didn't share her sentiments.
...I've had a long history of eating "just because." How I envy those people who intuitively push away their plates when they've had "enough," whatever that is!
Freelance
You know what, I find that I am able to sense "enough" when I'm out with friends eating dinner and enjoying the conversation. Somehow the company and the atmosphere keep my focus off the food which makes me eat slower and allows my body to read the signals of having had enough. I can't same the same of when I eat alone though, I'm a completely different eater when I'm by myself. I eat more, I watch tv but it doesn't distract me in the same way that good company does. I wonder if there's something to that.
I also read that once someone is obese, they no longer derive the same pleasure from food as thin people so we need more and more of that food to get the same effect. I completely get that because this entire past year (when I gained 50 lbs.), I don't think I enjoyed my food very much. Now that I'm eating on track, I'm starting to enjoy it a lot more.
This is really interesting. I have often felt that my taste buds are not as tuned into flavors as my husband (who has never had a weight problem). Thus, to really get the complete flavor of a food, I tend to want to eat it to excess, eat it fast (so the taste is constantly in my mouth during the meal), and eat big bites of it. I'm not saying that I like frozen dinners or anything like that; I've trained my palate over the years to enjoy better food (I'm somewhat of a "foodie"), but I think it's "training" rather than "natural." My husband has great taste buds; he can usually detect flavors in foods that I cannot (unless he points it out to me). I've often conjectured that he is satisfied with less food because he can truly taste everything he eats.
I agree. My mom told me that as an infant I would insist on having exactly twice as many bottles of formula as the doctor recommended. After each feeding I would raise h-e-l-l until I got that second bottle.
Me, too! My mother told me that when my bottle was finished I would scream bloody murder until I got more. She even described me throwing my bottle out of the crib as if to say, "Done with that---where's the rest?"
I think there might be a genetic component and a physical one.
I also think it's about habit and how we comfortable we are with being uncomfortable.
In the case of the husband and MIL who are fine going to bed without dinner -- that's something that I'm working on.
I'm clearly not going to starve if I miss lunch one day or I get home so late I might as well just eat a piece of fruit and go to bed. I'm still overweight!
And I am working on being comfortable with that. Yes, it's a habit that I have to eat three meals and snacks during the day, but that isn't working for me anymore. I was getting pretty comfortable with three meals a day with no snacks and that's an easier way to stay within my calories.
But that's psychological and individual -- can you be comfortable letting hunger exist in your stomach for an hour until dinner is ready? Sometimes I can be, sometimes I can't be (I have to watch it for myself because of blood sugar issues).
Sorry for the serial posts, but as I keep reading this thread, I keep seeing these great responses that I just must comment on. Rana, ITA with your comment about "how we comfortable we are with being uncomfortable." If I'm not busy and I'm hungry, it's almost as if every part of my being screams, "I MUST EAT NOW!" My husband, however, rarely eats lunch, no matter how small of a breakfast he has had. I sometimes ask him, "But aren't you hungry?" He'll say, "Yes, but hunger is just a feeling" and shrugs it off. Obviously, he is more comfortable with the feeling of hunger than I am.
When I am busy, though (at work, for instance), I can ignore the hunger MUCH more easily. Today, I purposely just brought a tangelo for lunch. During my afternoon class, I did feel hunger pains, but it was a given that I could not eat anything, so I ignored my hunger, and forgot about it. When I got home, I was hungry for my dinner, and it felt really good.
The thing is, I really love being hungry for meals; it makes everything taste so much better. However, when I'm "in the moment" and have access to food, it's so difficult to ignore the feeling. Also, there is a fine line between hunger that I can manage (like the type I experienced today) and hunger that drives me to eat everything in sight. Sometimes, I cannot tell the difference before it is too late.
ETA:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny
You know what, I find that I am able to sense "enough" when I'm out with friends eating dinner and enjoying the conversation. Somehow the company and the atmosphere keep my focus off the food which makes me eat slower and allows my body to read the signals of having had enough. I can't same the same of when I eat alone though, I'm a completely different eater when I'm by myself. I eat more, I watch tv but it doesn't distract me in the same way that good company does. I wonder if there's something to that.
I'm exactly the same. Also, I think the spacing of the food (all that time between courses) helps me to tune in more to my feelings of fullness. I eat too fast, and that problem is worse at home when I don't have anyone spacing out the food for me.
S
The thing is, I really love being hungry for meals; it makes everything taste so much better. However, when I'm "in the moment" and have access to food, it's so difficult to ignore the feeling.
ME TOO. When I'm home, it's much harder, because I have easily accessible food. Even if it's "healthy" food like fruit, vegs, nuts (because I don't buy any processed/junk food).
But I'll still eat.
When I'm in a situation -- like your class -- where I don't have access to food, I can ignore it and be comfortable with being hungry.
Reading through this thread immediately made me think of a realization I had a few years back when eating at a family function. One of my SIL's took a bite or two of some pie, remarked how yummy it was, but went on to say that it was way too sweet for her to stomach. And I thought, "Man! What I wouldn't give for sweets to be too sweet for me!"
Even when I was a little grade-schooler without a weight problem, I was sneaking whole spoons out of the sugar bowl and could eat gobs of frosting out of a can or cake batter out of a bowl like it was ice cream. It was no wonder that I did have a weight problem by the time I was in junior high, but my mother was adamant to blame it on the steroids prescribed by my newly-developed asthma. And I spent years and years feeling like the victim of a set of bad circumstances since I'd also believed that my weight issues had been directly tied to becoming asthmatic. Looking back, I now know that although it was likely a catalyst (or even an effect of my eating), it was much more complicated than that.
I've had severe GAD for years, and unbeknownst to me, I'd often eat out of anxiety. I'm also a comfort eater, and just an eater period, I guess. I especially like sweet, crunchy, and creamy food. I'd eventually reached a point of desensitization, needing more and more while enjoying it less and less, just like a drug addict. For years and years I couldn't even enjoy plain fruit, my taste buds were so hooked on sugar that oranges and strawberries were as sour as lemons to me (so of course, I'd have to pour sugar on them). And while I've mostly broken the cycle by giving up deep-fried foods and most added sugar, I know I could relapse at any time.
I still envy my SIL for being able to say sweets are too sweet for her; I doubt I'll ever reach that point. But if I stay adamant and vigilant about my eating plan by tracking my food, I'm hoping to stay on top of things. I wish I could just be an intuitive eater, but at least I'm taking control now.
Last edited by Elladorine; 05-01-2013 at 11:22 PM.
You know what, I find that I am able to sense "enough" when I'm out with friends eating dinner and enjoying the conversation. Somehow the company and the atmosphere keep my focus off the food which makes me eat slower and allows my body to read the signals of having had enough. I can't same the same of when I eat alone though, I'm a completely different eater when I'm by myself. I eat more, I watch tv but it doesn't distract me in the same way that good company does. I wonder if there's something to that.
I am the same, I think there is something to it. My family in France are all quite thin, and meal times are a big deal...there is no skipping lunch, there is hour+ long lunch breaks with coworkers/friends. When we were there my mother would even pick us up from school to eat lunch together. In the US we have a more frantic pace to life, I think that's not helpful when if comes to eating mindfully.
OP- Very interesting discussion! I suspect, as others have shared, that simple thermodynamics rule the day. I also know that the other factors influencing obesity are all too often ignored or cast aside with the phrase, "Just eat less and work out more!". I do get concerned that concept of being "naturally thin" convinces many people that they are "naturally fat", and thus incapable of losing weight.
