I have been reading Radiojane's thread "The Things The Thin Folks Don't Quite Get" and definitely had "Oh Yea!" moments reading it! Thanks for starting it, Radiojane.

But it occurred to me, while reading it, that perhaps we could also LEARN from them, just as they can learn from us.

So just exactly WHY are thin people thin? Lots of folks think it's just in their genetic makeup. With some possible exceptions, I respectfully disagree.

I think it's because they don't have the "love, hate" relationship with food that many of us do. For them, food is fuel. Period. Do they enjoy a good meal? Of course they do! Probably more than most of us do. Because when they eat something *fattening* they don't experience guilt. They eat it because at that moment in time it's what they wanted. Period. They may not want that particular food again in weeks, or months.

Why? Because they know they can have it again any time they want.

Ever watched thin people eat? Again, with some exceptions, they don't gobble it down. They eat it slowly. They really TASTE it. Many times, they leave food on their plate. Why? Because they are really in tune with their hunger signals. They know when to stop. Chronic dieting, OTOH, can lead to people no longer being able to distinguish when they are truly full.

I see a lot of people writing "they can eat whatever they want and as much as they want" without gaining weight. Well, that's a true statement. That is EXACTLY what they are doing. The key, however, is this - they do eat as much as they want....and no more. THEY KNOW WHEN TO STOP.

I also see people writing "they eat a LOT more than I do!" Well, if you're on a diet, that's probably a true statement as well. But I rather doubt that they have always eaten more than you have when you WEREN'T dieting. Their eating is consistent. Long-term chronic dieters have taken part in more of a "feast or famine" type of eating. Over the course of months, years, and decades, this results in the overweight person actually having consumed a LOT more calories during that time.

I also believe that thin people are just more active. I know that I am a LOT more active when I'm a normal weight. Even losing just a few pounds gives me more energy. I've seen others here make that same statement.

I challenge you to closely observe your thin friends and relatives when they eat. If you can get them to honestly open up to you about their eating habits, you'll discover that they generally only eat when they are sufficiently hungry. Unfortunately, so many thin people who have overweight friends like to lord it over them and you'll often hear them say things like "I eat ALL THE TIME and I never gain weight" or other similar lines - but that's just not true. They honestly don't KNOW how much they eat. They just don't think about it that much. So you will learn more about their TRUE eating habits by observing them over a period of time - preferably without them realizing it.

Last year I stayed with my BFF for a week. She has always been skinny. She rarely ate! I was starving, and she would not be hungry at all. I would be eating every 2 hours (small snacks) and she would just eat the standard 3 meals. Luckily she's my BFF since it would have been awkward going to and from the fridge so much at anyone ese's house. According to her though "shes eats sooo much". It's quite interesting when you pay attention to it.

I agree with everything you've said.

Something I'd like to add is that one of my skinny friends was ULTRA skinny for so many years because she was such a picky eater. If it looked "gross" she wouldn't eat it. Then she moved in with her boyfriend at the time, now husband, and he began introducing her to fattening foods. To quote Bender from Futurama she basically said "Why didn't anyone tell me tasty foods tasted so good?" She was super skinny because she wouldn't eat things that didn't look appetizing, she gained weight (But is still skinny) after discovering that just because it looks gross doesn't mean it tastes gross.

Yup, that's pretty much how thin people eat (naturally), and it's exactly how I ate when I was naturally thin myself before I ruined it all with my first diet. I used to eat fast food/junk food daily and never knew what a calorie was nor did I care to find out, and I tipped the scales at approx. 106lbs and never fluctuated in weight either way. I only knew what I weighed because of the Dr., not because I cared, and I knew that I never fluctuated because I never had to buy new clothes as they always fit the same year after year.

Food was food and you couldn't have paid me to care about weight/calories/fats/carbs, etc. I liked food as a naturally thin person; in fact, I quite loved it when I was hungry and eating it, and specific tastes, but it was not the center of my world because my body was well-fed and it had never experienced deprivation until I started dieting. Then, I started to bounce around the weight spectrum. Deciding to go on my first diet is my biggest regret.

If someone didn't know me when I was overweight and saw what I was eating when I was out at a restaurant, or at a get together, they'd probably think "How in the world is she not HUGE, she must have great genetics." What others see is only a snapshot of reality. I think we tend to fill in the blanks based on what we see instead of the entire picture.

The fact is that indulgences are made up for, and that's the case for people who haven't been overweight a day in their life. Some people naturally eat less in days following an indulgence, some purposefully do it. Not ALL thin people are unaware of their calorie intake, in fact I suspect there are many more aware than unaware. Either way, the person isn't gorging on every calorie laden food in sight every single day, and staying thin. Either they are active enough to offset the calories, or they are eating in a deficit at other times.

I think one of the worst assumptions is to think thin people are different, or special. They may have a different mindset, and a different way of looking at food than some of us, but it isn't something WE can't have, we just may really have to work at it. At least IMHO.

Granted there ARE special circumstances on both ends of the spectrum -- those random people with freakishly high metabolism, those random people with freakishly slow metabolisms who are super sensitive to sugars and whatnot. Those are NOT the people I'm talking about. I'm talking about just average people with no medical conditions or super gifted or cursed genetics.

When I started (over) I paid more attention to my boyfriend's eating habits. He works a very laborious job and he'll easily eat 1k calories just for lunch. On the weekends, if we're not doing much, he'll skip breakfast because he's not hungry, he might have a can of soup for lunch, and a hotdog with a single serving bag of chips...and he doesn't snack, at all.

While I agree with what you've said to some degree, I'll also say this. My ex-fiance lived off of energy drinks, soda, chips, snack cakes, and fast food. He was 6'5" and weighed 185, at his highest weight. He was not active at all. He sat on his butt all day in an office and when he got home, he would stuff his face and sit on his butt and play videogames. His weight could only be due to genetics.

An average day for him consisted of a poptart or sandwich for breakfast (Approximately 400). Lunch was usually Subway, Wendy's or Arby's (approximately 750-1000). Dinner was usually pizza, subway, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, or french fries (500-1200). Add in 3-4 energy drinks a day (approximately 800) and the soda (approximately 400). A normal day would be between 2500-3500 calories a day.

The BMR of someone of his size is around 2500 calories. While he may have been sedentary, he burned at least a little throughout the day just moving around. 2500-3500 a day maintaining is pretty much exactly what he'd need. Doesn't seem like he was genetically gifted at all, other than the fact he was a tall male, which I suppose one could argue is a gift LOL.

IA with LockItUp - approx 3000-3500 for a 6 foot sedentary male sounds about average for caloric intake, not at all indicative of a supermetabolism.

Likewise, as a formally naturally thin female of 5'3" when I think back to how I used to eat when I was thin that way, my calories came out to approx 2000-2500 daily and I was fairly sedentary often times taking naps right after downing a fast food meal.

While there may be some people who don't pay any attention to what they eat, my experience is most thin people are watching very closely what they eat.

An excellent point, perfectly stated.

I'm glad you concur! I'm able to maintain currently at between 2000 and 2500 depending on my activity level for the day. I definitely would not consider myself genetically gifted, in the metabolism department anway

People obviously discuss their eating habits when I attend my weekly meetings. I often hear and even witness a lot of denial, delusions, and justifications when it comes to overeating. And I'm not being judgmental, as I've totally been there. It's still a personal struggle at times.

I had a lightbulb moment a while back when eating with the family. My sister-in-law, who was super-petite at the time, took maybe two bites of her dessert before putting the fork down and exclaiming that it was yummy but way too sweet for her. I remember feeling envious and thinking that nothing was ever too sweet for me, in fact one of my issues had been that I couldn't get enough. Heck, when I was a kid I used to sneak spoonfuls of white sugar directly out of the sugar bowl! I'd yet to realize that something I personally had to do was conquer my sugar addiction by severely limiting it.

I'm hoping to turn into a person that can take or leave food without issue. I've spent the last year carefully considering everything I eat, teaching myself that it's ok to not eat the whole serving, the whole plate, the whole container. I don't have to eat what's in front of me just because it's there, and the biggest, most calorie-laden items on the menu aren't necessarily the best. I also need to learn not to feel guilty over an occasional indulgence. It's about knowing what's reasonable and when to say when.

Everyone's a little different with that. Some people do eat as much as they want without gaining and ounce, but more often than not, they don't likely want nearly as much as someone like me.

Most of my friends are very thin. One is as obsessed with watching calories as I am when I am trying to lose weight. In other words she constantly works at it. And I know that she weighs herself everyday. Not that I haven't seen he eat junky foods. But I have never seen her polish off a plate of fries or even eat a whole hamburger in one sitting. The other friend has an approach I hope to master when I lose the weight. She doesn't always eat the best foods. But she usually always eats healthy foods. She will drink a beer, but usually only after we go on a long run together. And I've seen her eat french fries. But usually only a few bites. And usually when I see her eat it's salad and grilled lean proteins. So while she doesn't seem to obsess about calories, she definately make a conscience effort to keep things in balance.

i think sometimes the key here (and i'm talking about so called "naturally thin" people who haven't been on a diet) is the amount of food they ingest, we all hear about how they only take a few bites and call it done.

i have come to realize that it takes a LOT to make me feel full which is why i've chosen foods like non fat greek yogurt, fruit, veggies, HUGE salads consisting mostly of mixed lettuces and veggies...for my "diet" plan. i just do not get full as fast as the average person, even eating slowly and deliberately and that pretty much sucks. i would love to feel fuller faster on lesser amounts of food. This observance is also personal, having a best friend that is naturally slender.