Quote:
Originally Posted by mimsyborogoves
So, this past month I was stricter than usual with my plan because I stayed at 160 for SO LONG, I really wanted to get those pounds off. I didn't allow myself to stray off plan for more than a few calories for the entire month and I worked my *** off in the gym and you know what I learned?
At the end of the month, while I have no regrets... I'm "starving", figuratively speaking. I feel like I haven't allowed myself to just live -- I've been so concerned with dieting and exercise and trying to get these last pounds off that now I want to eat everything in sight. Usually I let myself have that cookie or I let myself have those one or two "splurgy" meals and don't let it bother me; I pick myself up, get back on plan, and move on. But now that I went so long without having ANY of that? Good lord. I want to go CRAZY for my birthday. I want to go crazy in general... I want to eat my fudge that I got in Charleston in the fridge, and I want to EAT it. I don't want to portion it out and make it last forever and a day, I want to freakin' eat it. I want to eat my moon pie. I want to eat cookies. I want french fries and I want pizza and I want a freakin' cheeseburger. I've NEVER been this ravenous/crazy throughout my entire weight loss and I don't know what's wrong with me!
I was absolutely fine until my trip to Charleston the other day, really. I was watching everyone eat and it was like something just snapped. I'm tired of eating salads all the time and I want to be able to have a french fry every now and then and ya know not eat like I used to of course, but just be able to live and eat like a normal person and not have to pay attention to EVERY SINGLE THING I put in my mouth and I don't want to watch my mom, aunt and grandma eat a plate of delicious fried food and just LONG for it. I don't want to watch my friend eat a butterfinger and cry on the inside because he can have a butterfinger and I can't. And it wasn't even a big butterfinger -- it was a fun size.
So my learning experience? Is to take life like I have been taking it throughout my weight loss. It's okay to indulge every now and then. It's okay to have a french fry and it's okay to have a cookie. I'm not gonna destroy everything I've done by having those things. It's when I let these things become a problem that it's going to destroy me. Normal people don't "deprive" themselves for a whole month and then eat everything in sight. Normal people making normal decisions throughout the entire month and they don't let food bother them. I don't want food to bother me.
So, I'm not being as strict with myself for the next week, and I think I'll be okay. These last 11lbs will come off, but they don't have to come off tomorrow and they don't have to come off in the next week, lol. I'm going out with my friends tonight and I'm not gonna go crazy but I'm going to enjoy myself. I'm going to enjoy my birthday. And then these 11lbs can come off. I think I need it for my sanity, more than anything else.
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Life is about balance. Most days, on plan. The now and then, birthday or wedding or whatever, toss in an extra walk, enjoy the celebration and then, back to plan.
After all these years, it's rather ironic, my grandmother, who always watched her weight, was very careful during the week about what she ate, there was always 2 veggies and 1 fruit on the table, and made sure she walked each day, but, indulged, with portion size in mind on the week end.
She is 95! and still follows those rules!
