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Old 02-20-2013, 06:35 PM   #1
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Default I never stick with it...

I'm back again. It seems like every time I log on here I'm changing my weight, only it's UP-not DOWN. I'm now officially at my highest weight ever, 236.6. Not even two years ago I weighed 185. When did this happen?????

I noticed my clothes were a little tighter at one point. Eh. Maybe I gained 10lbs. Then they got tighter. Then I couldn't wear my jeans at all and felt uncomfortable in everything. I knew I had gained, I just didn't realize how much. I honestly thought about 30 pounds AT MOST.

I can't even think about my goal at this point, as it seems so out of reach. I'd like to be back under 200...thinking beyond that is just too overwhelming.
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Old 02-20-2013, 06:46 PM   #2
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Hi there Congrats on coming back! Getting back up for another round is hard, I know.

Have you any idea what makes you not stick with it? If there's a chance your diet is too restrictive / too laid back / you use exercise as punishment / you want to be perfect on your diet / you fall into feeling guilty, or any other identifiable reason? I ask because I kept doing the same thing expecting different results and I lost a little weight, then regained all that and more, over and over until I ended up here, changing things up.

Perhaps check out some "1 year commitment" threads? It's not something I've done yet, but I'm definitely considering it at this point. Basic premise being that no matter what, you just DON'T QUIT. You may feel guilty / go off-plan / not exercise one day / not exercise for a month / regain a little / not be perfect / regain a lot / whatever... but you keep your head in the game and figure it out by simply refusing to quit! I think it's a brilliant idea

Either way, I wish you the best of luck. PM me if you want me to tell you not to quit all over again But really, do feel comfortable about talking about it in public that you've quit, want to quit, anything. Between everyone on this forum I'm sure there's been more quitting than anyone could manage in one lifetime! So we have some seriously skilled people who know how to NOT QUIT. Many of them have personally helped me *hugs*
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:11 PM   #3
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I feel like everything you said has been a reason for me quitting at one point or another. I've even told myself "I'll just be fat"-just to eat something I really want. I'll continue with that mindset until I need to put on a pair of jeans or look at myself in the mirror. Then I'm disgusted all over again.

I think my main problem is that I HAVE to be strict on myself. If I deter even the slightest bit from my diet then it's all over. I can't ever just have SOME of something. Even when I stay on track I get discouraged because I know I won't keep up with that forever and I'll eventually start eating like my old self again and gaining all the weight back, so whats the point?

I'm just going to try to make a conscious effort to eat when I'm hungry and not overdo it. I overeat all the time-seriously, I never even let myself get hungry-so I really just need to focus on getting hungry, eating until I'm full, and STOPPING.

I honestly don't want to be "skinny". I feel like I'd be happy at 160 or so. But then again I thought I'd be happy at 180 and I definitely wasn't. I'm just going to lose until I feel okay with myself. I'm trying not to focus on the numbers.
I can't afford to quit again. Each time I do I come back bigger.
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:28 PM   #4
Restart 11/2012 at 153lbs
 
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I noticed you joined a while ago with few posts. It really helped me to log on everyday since restarting my weight loss. It helped me to join challenges too, I just feel accountable that way. It's amazing how you think you may have gained a bit then jump on the scale and get a reality check, good thing you can change that. Best of luck and look to us for support when quiting crosses your mind!
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:45 PM   #5
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I think falling off the wagon is totally normal for everyone! I hereby grant you permission to be imperfect, heh (myself? A whole different matter, of course...)

I honestly think a 1 year commitment (or however long you're comfortable with) might help. And I second that posting here often helps keep you accountable, and gives you better moral support. Because it's not going off-plan once that puts the weight back on, it's STAYING off-plan. The "why bother" thought is your weakest link in breaking the cycle. If you ever feel that "why bother" feeling, post here ASAP and tell us! People will help. I wouldn't be here writing this today if I hadn't asked for help several times - no, I'd be heavier than I started out.

If you only do ONE thing to help your efforts, make it the development of the ability to get back up when you get knocked down. That's real success. And you've already achieved it by posting here today
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Old 02-20-2013, 07:47 PM   #6
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I say if going below 200 is all you can face right now then go with it. You can reassess when you get there. Or set even smaller goals. My mini goals are less than 5 lbs in some cases. I made a list of weights to reach with a note on why that number is a milestone to me. Celebrate every pound! We will all cheer you on.
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Next mini goal- below 144lbs- 144 is my magic number. I have a mental block about 144. Whenever I get there I start gaining. I got to 142 briefly but it didn't last.
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Old 02-20-2013, 10:45 PM   #7
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Welcome back and good luck!
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Old 02-20-2013, 11:49 PM   #8
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I noticed that you and I have similar stats. I also noticed that we have the same problem of giving up. This is actually my 3rd time coming back to this site. I never stayed long enough the other two times to make any progress. And each time I came back I was so embarassed for gaining more weight I would register with a new username.

My problem was that I would try some strict diet and exercise regimen that would make me miserable with the hopes of dropping 20 lbs a month. My methods were so abrupt that I went from doing nothing to working out 5 days a week and eating like a rabbit. Totally unsustainable.

The only thing that has helped this time around is the support system I have in my life now, plus the realization that this is going to take a long time. Even still it took me months to tackle the "eating." I started exercising this year very slowly at first. I did low impact stuff so as not to discourage myself. As I got stronger and my endurance increased I added more strenuous workouts. But I was still overeating so I didn't see any results. I broke down crying in front of 2 separate people last September over the fact that I was working out so much and haven't lost any weight. That's when I finally acknowledged that my portions were out of control and that I was comfort eating like a mofo.

I had to start counting calories just to see how many were in the things I ate. I was astonished at how much I was putting away. I generally eat a lot and exercising makes you hungrier so it made it even worse. But by recording what you eat and posting it on a site like MyFitnessPal you are made more accountable. I fell off the calorie counting bandwagon mid December and I only just got back on it yesterday. I had to because my weight loss has really stalled because of it.

I don't want you to give up this time. Because the truth is, the only way to succeed is never to give up. It's hard, it's frustrating and it's an emotional as well as physical journey. But it is one that you owe yourself. You have to discover the real you. You have to test your mettle and see what you're made of. This isn't about being perfect. It's about pushing against the boundaries of your comfort zone so that you can redefine yourself as you see fit.

Never give up. Time will pass whether you are on plan or not. You might as well be doing something good for yourself. Focus on taking care of yourself and on being healthy. Your future self will thank you for not giving up on her.
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Old 02-21-2013, 08:59 AM   #9
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I think maybe you should take it slow. You don't have to be perfect at all! Spend the next week tracking everything you eat. Don't change what you eat. Just track it. You may see how much food you are eating. Now, once you have your average daily number, try to decrease it by just 100. You can use apps like loseit!, my fitness pal, etc.

Example: maybe you see that the first week you consume 2900-3100 calories a day. So in the next week, you try to eat 2800-3000 a day. You can start doing simple activity like taking an extra walk around your work station/hall/bathroom/etc. Instead of those chips, eat some carrots or a fruit. Continue this trend till you may reach a "weight loosing calorie target (based on your bmr, an app target, etc).

You do not have to be perfect! There is no contest on who loses weight the fastest. My goal this year is just to work at getting to my smallest weight. Yes I will have more weight to go after that but I don't care. I just want to get to my smallest weight. Yay! I am not perfect every day but I wake up/treat every meal as a new day. Last week, I had a bad week but I pulled up my big girl panties and went back on track a few days ago. I've already seeing the scale go down. You CAN do this. Yes YOU can.
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Old 02-21-2013, 09:51 AM   #10
Mini Goal 1- 189.5 lbs
 
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I think you need to change your mindset from "I never stick with it" to "maybe in the past, I didn't for whatever reasons, but I totally CAN stick with it!" You never know, this may just be your time, don't jinx yourself with negative thoughts from the beginning. A lot of this journey is about believing in yourself. No one can make you want to be healthy and if you really want it to stick, ultimately YOU have to want it badly enough, not just in a figurative sense, but in an actual down and dirty, grit your teeth and commit sort of sense.

I'm like the original McFlaky. I tend not to stick to things but when I was ready, I stuck to this change of life plan and I'm everyday finding a new way to commit to it and stick to it. I'm not perfect every day, but my commitment is to always jump right back in no matter what. Don't push yourself into anything that isn't sustainable for you diet and exercise-wise. Make little changes, set little goals.

When I started the idea of losing 100lbs was CRAZY TOWN bananas. I weighed over 200 lbs at age 11. I was obese from childhood, I had no concept of how I was going to achieve such a feat. So I set smaller goals of like 5lbs or even 1.5 lbs. Some weeks when I was struggling, my goal was simply not to gain any weight. Onederland might seem miles away but little drops will get you there. This is not a race or a competition. It's a journey to finding a healthier version of yourself. There is no pressure. Believe you can do it and that you deserve to do it for yourself if that's what you want. Commit to yourself and you'll see, you can totally do it!
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Old 02-21-2013, 03:20 PM   #11
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Thank you all for your tips and words of encouragement!

I have logged my calories before on a "normal" day and found I was eating between 3000-4000. So I'm trying to eat 2000 a day for now and slowly drop my intake until I'm between 1200-1500 a day.

I've also joined a program for work that is similar to The Biggest Loser. I joined last year and lost ten pounds, but wasn't very committed. This year will be different.

I've made it through a day and a half. That doesn't sound like much but for me it is. I'm going to try...no I'm GOING to log in at least once a day.
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Old 02-21-2013, 03:37 PM   #12
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I've only been at this 6.5 weeks this time--but this time is my time. There are a couple of things that are different for me:
  • I'm using MyFitnessPal to log everything I eat. Everything. One thing I committed to was logging every day. I've updated that commitment to logging every night before so that I have a plan
  • I measure or weigh everything.
  • I committed to walking twice a day at work, 5 days a week. I have a walking partner, but even if she is out, I still have to walk. (We walk laps inside our building, since it's too cold to walk outside.)
  • I have been reading and following internalizing the book The Beck Diet Solution: train your brain to think like a thin person. I'm finding the day by day steps in this book are really teaching me the skills to not give in to cravings or unplanned eating. (It's also why I'm planning everything--the book stresses how important that is)
  • I committed to planning my meals--on Sunday night, I plan for the entire week. On Monday night, I grocery shop on the way home from work. Those are not negotiable.
  • I make all preparation for the next day's breakfast and lunch the night before (usually while DH is cleaning up dinner). I don't like to get up early in the morning, so being able to just grab my planned and prepared lunch makes things easier
  • I accept that I'm going to eat prepared food--lots of frozen meals for lunch augmented with fruit and a veggie. No matter how much "better" it would be for me to eat only unprocessed food, that just isn't something I'm going to be successful at right now.
  • I've committed to participating actively on 3FC--making on-line friends, connecting with people, providing and getting support
I tried to make all of my commitments to activities I control (plan all food the night before, log all food), rather than something I don't (how fast weight comes off).

I really recommend the Beck book. It's made a huge difference to me.

I know my list is long--but you don't have to do everything at once. I do think that planning and logging are two of the best things you could do for yourself and your goals.

Good luck to you!
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Old 02-22-2013, 02:06 PM   #13
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I'm using myfitnesspal, but I had never thought about logging items beforehand. I'm gonna give that a try!
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Old 02-22-2013, 03:50 PM   #14
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I can't speak for anyone else but I've started and stopped diets more times than I care to admit. This is my third serious diet attempt and the only time I've lasted more than 3 months.

The other two times (2005 & 2010) I managed to lose 34 pounds in 3 months before I gained all the weight back plus some.

I can’t pinpoint anything specific to explain why this is the time that stuck but I can share a bit about my journey.

In 2005 I found myself at my highest weight (up until that point) of 212. I started exercising every day and I came up with my own meal plan that consisted of 3 meals and 2 snacks per day. I stopped drinking alcohol and managed to lose 34 pounds in 3 months. The reason that I fell off my diet this time was a Memorial Day bbq. This was the first time that I had consumed alcohol and junk food in 3 months and I convinced myself that I no longer needed to be as strict as I had been before. I also started a new job and because I wasn’t particularly organized with my food, I started eating takeout a lot. Suffice it to say, I started gaining back all of the weight that I had lost.

Fast forward to 2010 and I found myself weighing in at 265 pounds. I signed up for SparkPeople with my best friend and we started cooking together every Sunday. We’d make low calorie meals for the week and package everything up. I was tracking my calories on their website and exercising regularly. I managed to stay on this program for 3 months and then Christmas came and I lost my mind. I allowed myself a few cheat days that I never recovered from and when the New Year started, I was completely off my diet.

That brings us to 2012 and my highest weight of 279. My cousin uploaded a picture of me to Facebook and I nearly lost my mind. It was the first time that I realized how big I’d actually gotten. I was devastated and deeply depressed. I started seeing a therapist and eventually found my saving grace in a 12 Step program for compulsive overeaters called Greysheeters Anonymous. I’ve been on this program since June 2012 and have lost 93 pounds. I don’t bargain with myself anymore. I avoid sugar and carbs and I only eat the foods approved by the program.

The trick to sustained weight loss is finding the right program that will meet your needs and work for you.

You can do it. Good luck!
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:45 PM   #15
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2000 is a good starting place. You may find 1500 is totally sufficient and you don't need to go any lower til much later.
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Next mini goal- below 144lbs- 144 is my magic number. I have a mental block about 144. Whenever I get there I start gaining. I got to 142 briefly but it didn't last.
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