People would definitely notice that eating food other than what was brought by the selected group. Anything healthy really stands out among glazed donuts with bright icing and sprinkles and cakes and pastries. The funny thing, except for my boss and a handful of others, they would be more aware of me eating something different than if I'm not there at all. They all stand or sit around and chit chat, mostly about the food and sometimes work.
I'm OK not being one of the crowd especially at an optional event. I just get temporary flack for it. I'm just proud of myself for not going this early into getting back on track. It's merely a verbal pat on the back to myself and knew so many at 3FC can relate.
Oh man, OFFICE FOOD. UGH. I had no idea what a "thing" it was until I got my first office job. Right now I'm in the angry phase of dealing with it. It just makes me mad when people bring cookies and cakes to an environment that's unhealthy as it is (just sitting all day). Plus all my co-workers complain about their weight and do NOTHING about it. They continue to bring in crap!
I am slowly inching my way towards a zen acceptance phase regarding office food. Good for you for already being there and saying no! I find it so much harder to say no at work than at home.
I work at a department store and they have stuff like that going on all the time! One time I actually went, and it wasn't even breakfast food. They served CUPCAKES and orange juice. Who eats cupcakes for breakfast??? I quit going to things like that after that cause that's just ridiculous.
Is it possible for the OP if you show up to work and bring your own healthy snack/food and attend the social gatherings maybe your boss will understand and still appreciate that you made an effort to socialize.
I've done a lot of avoiding food at work events. I always attend, because ultimately, any gathering of employees is a networking opportunity, so attending helps in career advancement, even if it is technically "optional". Plus, these "corporate rituals" can really affect your boss's perception of your willingness to be a team player, so I feel it is in my best interest to attend.
So, how do I go to these events without eating? Rule #1, get something in your hands! A cup of tea or black coffee is perfect at a breakfast, or at an evening event where people are having cocktails, I get an old-fashioned or highball glass filled with club soda and a twist of lime at the bar (the second one is a particularly good trick, because it looks like a gin and tonic, and no one will ever know you're not drinking).
As far as the food, if you're asked why you're not eating, simply say, "Oh, I ate breakfast already!", then change the subject to something work related. So if a coworker said, "Amanda! You don't have a plate!" I'd say, "Oh, I ate a late breakfast! Anyway, how is <big project> going? I know you all have been working so hard on it!". Rinse and repeat. If you're not asked, just don't mention anything about the food or why you're not eating it. I've found that having a drink in your hand really helps with the questions, though.
I do know that in the past when I worked in offices & newsrooms, my career was hurt somewhat because of avoiding going to social bonding rituals involving food. I did eventually compromise and used a lot of tricks also, like taking a muffin, donut, piece of cake from the buffet & putting it on a plate with fruit if they had it, getting coffee, standing & talking awhile with that in my hand then drifting back out to my desk before everyone had gone back, nibbling fruit while working, eating a bite of cake or just putting the cake in a drawer or setting it aside & telling anyone who said anything I was saving it for lunch or something like that.
I've done a lot of avoiding food at work events. I always attend, because ultimately, any gathering of employees is a networking opportunity, so attending helps in career advancement, even if it is technically "optional". Plus, these "corporate rituals" can really affect your boss's perception of your willingness to be a team player, so I feel it is in my best interest to attend.
So, how do I go to these events without eating? Rule #1, get something in your hands! A cup of tea or black coffee is perfect at a breakfast, or at an evening event where people are having cocktails, I get an old-fashioned or highball glass filled with club soda and a twist of lime at the bar (the second one is a particularly good trick, because it looks like a gin and tonic, and no one will ever know you're not drinking).
As far as the food, if you're asked why you're not eating, simply say, "Oh, I ate breakfast already!", then change the subject to something work related. So if a coworker said, "Amanda! You don't have a plate!" I'd say, "Oh, I ate a late breakfast! Anyway, how is <big project> going? I know you all have been working so hard on it!". Rinse and repeat. If you're not asked, just don't mention anything about the food or why you're not eating it. I've found that having a drink in your hand really helps with the questions, though.
This is EXACTLY what I did when I was working in a school. We had breakfasts a lot and I think it's better to go to these things because not going can hurt one's career. It sucks, but it's the way it is.
I always said: "I ate breakfast already" or "I have to eat as soon as I wake up," because people would point out that we knew about the breakfast. Tea or water is always available so I would just drink.
Sometimes there were pieces of fruit around, and a small plate of fruit can usually fit into my calorie count quite nicely.
I likely have less than a year left and will hopefully never been employed in the same industry again. So, I'm not very concerned with networking at this time. All of your suggestions are good to remember once I get in a field I will remain in long term.
I have the same issue at work but it is a WEEKLY breakfast. I normally show up late and say, "I have an early lunch with a client today" or "I had a breakfast meeting already."
Not showing up at my work is not an option since we are all on the same floor, all calls are held, and it is held in the common area right outside of all of our offices. The boss actually comes and gets us. I generally pretend to be on a call and motion that I will be there in a minute.
Coffee or tea in hands work. When it is my turn to bring food I always bring fruit.