Try not to be so hard on yourself ..you have come so far,please don't give up.
Weightloss should not become the focus of our life IN MY OPINION,it should be part of are life!
I feel we need to balance all the different parts of are life,school,work,family ,friends and when we concentrate on only one area that knocks off our equilibrium,make sense?
Life requires juggling and making adjustments to make things fit in a way that works for us.
What works for one person may be different for someone else.
Thought everyone has given you a lot of good suggestions..you need to figure out what's going to work for you.
Hey I freely admit from time to time I get overwhelmed it would be very easy to let myself off the hook but later there would be self loathing..soo I go on.
Good luck,Roo2
I agree with most of what's already been said here. I think John simplified things a bit - his post is great in principle but not always doable if you have to travel a lot and rely on eating out. I totally agree with LaurieDawn. If you can stand it, limit your menu choices drastically. I eat the same breakfast and lunch most days. Fruit, yogurt, that sort of thing. Supper is the only question mark in my dietary day. Salads with left over chicken, tuna, or beef many week nights. Cooking is mostly done on the weekends.
And to say it one more time, just for impact, you know you don't want to regain, so just do whatever it is to keep that from happening. Good luck. And congratulations on your success so far. You're doing well.
I travel on business frequently. It's a real struggle. I try to order healthy food when possible but the best solution I've found is to stay out of restaurants unless absolutely necessary for business.I carry packets of protein shake mix and a shaker and I substitute that for 1 or 2meals per day. Often the nicer hotels have apples available at the front desk or breakfast buffet (but stay away from most everything else at the buffet). That way if I have to eat a lunch or dinner out it's not a disaster. That being said, I've never been able to do better than maintain when traveling
I think John simplified things a bit - his post is great in principle but not always doable if you have to travel a lot and rely on eating out.
That is a crutch. Maybe we're talking about other countries but in America every possible place you're going to eat allows you to chose what you want to eat and no one forces you to eat everything.
There is a great app called Yelp that will tell you all the food places to eat where ever you're at. When I travel I start Yelping for where to eat before I am even check in.
I'm not saying it's easy because it's tempting when you're at a fast food joint to order the double bacon cheeseburger and large fries but the grilled chicken sandwich or salad might be a better choice.
Again, it's not as if the OP is trying to lose the last five lbs. I realize this makes me sound very insensitive but I'm just keeping it real. Unless the OP has some medical condition which complicates things we're only dealing with making more good choices than bad ones.
Then again, if you're looking for an excuse, you're sure to find one.
Honestly, I do think you're being kind of insensitive. The OP specifically said she's venting. Of course losing weight is really just about the math of having a calorie deficit over time, but just because something is simple doesn't make it easy. If it were easy obesity wouldn't be such a huge problem in this country. It's also a lot harder to stick to lower calorie limits like 1200 a day when eating out, even if you choose healthier options. And frankly women can't eat as much as men and still lose, generally speaking. Yes, it's doable, yes people do it, but the point of these boards is support. Sometimes it's hard. There's nothing wrong with admitting that. There's nothing wrong with struggling. The point is not to give up.
Would you agree support comes in different forms? I'm the tough love side of the support.
No kidding that obesity is a very complex subject. That's a bit of a red herring don't you think?
The subject at hand is the difficulty in losing weight in the face of a hectic work schedule. I agree it is more challenging. I agree it is also very possible.
Support need not become enabling. Sometime the kindest thing to do is help someone put things in perspective and be realistic. There are more and less tactful ways to do this, but support doesn't mean just telling someone the nicest thing you can think of, or exactly what they want to hear.
In the case of weight loss, that can be more cruel than kind. Determination and grit is what it takes to maintain and move forward, not flowers and kisses
Last edited by Arctic Mama; 11-18-2012 at 05:51 PM.
If you're staying at a hotel for a few days and can eat there mostly, often times they are happy to accommodate special diets. You can ask them to make you low cal (or low carb, or whatever) healthier meals, and they will often be able to help. Many restaurants are happy to accommodate as well, even if it is not clear from the menu that they will - you just have to ask.
ETA: On the subject of how to support someone, blowing smoke up their butt is clearly not helpful, but neither is telling someone who just told you they are having a problem that they shouldn't have a problem. The question isn't whether the problem is valid or complicated - the fact is they are having it and need help. If you aren't going to be respectful of the fact that this is challenging for them, you are not being helpful.
your diet is going to dictate your results and no matter where you are there are always going to be low calorie choices and high calorie choices. So while you might not be able to get in as much exercise as you would like you still have control over what goes into your mouth.
This was my thought too. From everything I have read on 3FC it's calories over exercise.
JohnP, I am sorry for how I said my last comment. I was upset about what I considered a lack of tact on your part...and then I expressed that tactlessly myself. I recognize that that is rather hypocritical. I do think tough love can be helpful. I remember one such comment from a friend that helped me a lot. It was years ago and I weighed a good bit more than I do now. I kept complaining about how I looked, on some level wanting someone to reassure me, and he called me on it, and basically said that if I didn't like how I looked I should do something about it. Well, he was right, and not long after I did.
But I have also had people who were judgmental when I was doing the work, and that was not at all helpful to me.
I feel like saying something is a crutch or someone is making excuses veers from the helpful tough love over to the judgmental. That's how it is to me, but I realize that for some people, maybe that is helpful. But I agree with scoutycat's comment that it's not helpful if it isn't respectful of the fact that it's hard for them.
But I know I took this too personally. I am not the OP and you weren't talking to me. I responded the way I did because comments like the ones you made have been bad for me when people have made them to me.
No apology needed. You're entitled to your opinion and I didn't feel your comment was hypocritical. The only thing I would ask you to understand is that I'm not judging. I'm not in the slightest way judging anyone and I'm about the least judgemental person you're likely to meet.
I'm simply pointing out the reality of the situation. Calling an excuse and excuse doesn't mean I'm judging their choices. Just pointing out that a choice exists.
I know it's not easy. No one needs to tell me about the realities of a busy job schedule. I know how it goes. I didn't get to 300 lbs by accident. You're so busy working you don't take a break to eat and before you know it you can eat a house. I would be driving home at 11:00 PM and hit Jack in the box and drop about 2000 calories then do it all over the next day and don't even get me started on the drinking to "relieve stress" ...
Hey, other Florida-ess. I want to laud you for how far you've come. I am mere days into deciding I want to do this thing and changing so many of my behaviors. It is mind-boggling for me to look at the world I have built myself around food and my globby heaviness ... I don't even have a concept of what a lighter, slenderer me will feel or look like - but I'm psyched to be headed in that direction!
I echo others in remembering why we are here doing what we do - I want change, and I bet you must've wanted it too! I know that I don't have any solutions for you, being a newcomer. I hope you're happier to weigh less than you used to - that your ticker has moved a lot from its origins - and that some part of what you dreamed of when you began this journey has come to pass.
I have *lots* of times when I need to vent like mad before I can get up the .... oomph to take my next steps. Sometimes my "thumb-sucking sessions" or sharing frustration with friends is actually what allows me to gather my energy together again and give it another go. For me, when I run out of my own steam, I have to ask for divine help. I have made other huge changes in my life over the years and on many occasions when I feel like I can't do it, I ask for benevloent powers to step in and give me energy.
Thanks. I think different people are different in what works for them as far as support, and I lost sight of that. For me hearing about someone else's struggles and that they pushed through and did it anyway is definitely helpful.
Weight loss is simple, not easy. It's easy to know the path but choose to stray down another one. Everyone here has struggles and bumps in the road and we all understand.
That said, it's easy to make an excuse. **** I did it too. That's why I was fat for so long despite exercising all the time.
Sometimes a kick upside the head is what we need to get us going.
Also, maybe, if you're breaking down and having difficulty with this job that is isn't a good position for you? I just recently quit my job because of difficulties with it (stress, but also safety issues) and I wasn't even having trouble maintaining my weight! It's been freeing to leave, but now I have the stress of finding another job...again.
Sometimes we also need to weigh what's important in our lives. If losing weight isn't as important as say, your job, then that's fine, but realize it'll be on the backburner. For me, my family and friends were more important than my job (and they always will be) as are exercising and eating healthy. My job basically wanted me to sacrifice all my free time and I wasn't willing to do that. It was my career, but not my life.
Roo2
