The most 'slap in the face' type moment I can remember was talking about children and things, and I mentioned I had thought about adopting children maybe when I'm older, and this woman who was a friend of a friend or soemthing looked at me with raised eyebrows and said 'Oh no, you'd never be allowed to have children, you're way too fat.'
The worst thing is, it's true, they don't let you adopt if you are severely obese... but still.. really hurt me, I felt she was kind of mean about that.
xxxx
My sister is TINY (5'2", MAYBE 100 lbs on a good day), never been a drop overweight, but she would NEVER and I mean NEVER make me feel bad about my weight.
You sister is a total douche! I really wanna call her something else, but it would get *-ed out.
It is my mother who is guilty for this. Her weight has fluctuated her entire life, from being thin to being rather large. She has managed to put on a substantial amount of weight in the last year but I would NEVER mention anything like that. Here are a few of our conversations
*In front of my now fiance, on my birthday, 2011*
Mom - "You need to stop losing weight"
Me - "Thanks, Ill keep that in mind"
Mom- "You need a better bra"
Me- "........... ill keep that in mind to"
Mom- " Seriously your books are hanging down to your knees, its gross"
Another good one. More recent, after I gain some weight back due to falling back into old habits.
Mom - "Hey fatty"
Me- "Thanks"
Mom-" You can stop trying now, you are destined to be fat like the rest of our family"
Me- " No, I fell back into old stress habits. I am back on track now"
Mom- "No... Your fat. Just accept it"
She has no faith in me what so ever lol. It stings at the time, but I try to remember she has and will always be like that. I just try to ignore or laugh at her comments now.
"Well, you're used to being bigger, I'm not." -said a coworker that probably weighed 200 pounds less than me at the time yet constantly complained about how fat she was.
oh geeze..this brings back lots of fat comment memories...ooooh i just want to squash these people like bugs...tut tut for saying such mean and nasty things..
I tried on a wedding dress this past March at a really well known high end bridal store..Of course, the only available sample size in the plus section was a 16...and of course im a...22.. So anywho..the lady brings out the dress and i try it on and she comes in to help me"lace it up"...and as she is attempting to squeeze my fat rolls on my back into this little corset lace up dress that is far too small..she said " oh dont feel bad honey..your not the first fat bride ive ever worked with".... The sad thing is... i dont think she even meant to be mean..she was just a sweet lady in her 60's helping me into this dress...Nothing worse then being poked and prodded while having no undergarments on..having someone lace up your fat into a dress that clearly does not fit your size...why she made me..who knows.. Thank God.. i got my dress at a store that actually carried my size right on the shelf!
Hello all! I'm sorry that your sister made that comment about you weighing 180. I have a thin, very fit sister who has always made nasty comments to me about my size, no matter how small I am.
I've lost 58 pounds over the past 5.5 months and the comment I'm getting a lot from work is "I didn't know that you were THAT big". I guess they mean it nicely but come on......
My tiny best friend was again wailing about her weight the other day. I lifted up my shirt and jiggled my belly at her and said, "You ain't fat. THIS is fat. This size 20 a$$ is so fat it can't squeeze one cheek into your size 2 pants. Stop your bellyaching. You are beautiful!" I don't think she has a clue how her fat talk feels to me. Sad thing is, she's absolutely gorgeous inside and out and has a horrendous self image. Her mother doesn't help by telling her she's fat.
I think it's completely okay for someone who's a size 2 (or 0 or 8 or 10 or 22) to feel fat or ugly; us fat girls aren't the only ones with self-image issues! It may be difficult–nigh on impossible–to understand why someone at our goal weight doesn't feel good about themselves, but that doesn't change their feelings.
OP, I'm glad you were able to laugh off those comments! I think people really do mean, "You don't look that big" in a nice, or at least clueless, way. Since everyone wears their weight differently I tend to assume that those comments come from assuming that everyone over 150lbs (or 200lbs or 300lbs) must look morbidly obese; in reality, those of us here know that weight has surprisingly little to do with how you look or fit into clothes.
Very true that someone's feelings are valid, whatever they feel at whatever size and with whatever they have going for them.
My friend and I have been up in each others' business about weight and every other thing imaginable for years; we're as close as sisters. What makes it not ok is that her view has become self-harming -- punishing exercise and not eating enough to keep her body fueled. The only way she could actually get any smaller with her build is to stop eating altogether or start purging. I know I can't change her feelings about herself--only she can--so I tease her about weight with my fatness and tell her how beautiful she is and remind her that her very hot husband loves every inch of her and encourage her to eat; she's over 40 and her mama's nasty opinions of her don't count for crap. I don't like where it's going, but I'll be there to pick up the pieces as always.
I totally feel you, OP. My sister is 5'2" and 110lbs. She is ALWAYS joking and calling me her "big little sister." Thankfully a few months ago she said that in front of one of my friends, and my friend - without checking herself - just said "Seriously? Who says that?" She flushed and hasn't said it since!
I totally feel you, OP. My sister is 5'2" and 110lbs. She is ALWAYS joking and calling me her "big little sister." Thankfully a few months ago she said that in front of one of my friends, and my friend - without checking herself - just said "Seriously? Who says that?" She flushed and hasn't said it since!
My Grandma has had comments like this since I was 12. No joke. They ranged from little snarky bits like "Those pants look a little tight" to pinching the back of my arms and going "Got arms like mine, except I'm old and you're just chubby."
I genuinely believe I'd have a much better self-image if it weren't for her. I'm taller than anyone else in my family, and weigh a good 60+ lbs more than the rest of them, yet that can't be taken into consideration.
Christmas year before last, I finally stood up to her. I'd been eating better for a couple of months, lost about 6 lbs, and was feeling better about myself. Went to get one of those Christmas treats (just one!) because I felt like it; she snatched it out of my hand, and in front of the whole family, said "You don't need that. What you NEED to do is to keep watching what you eat. You're awfully fat to only be 24. It makes me sad to look at you."
I just looked at her and said "I'm sorry that MY weight is a problem for YOU. I'm sorry that MY size makes YOU unhappy. I'm sorry that MY life isn't what YOU want it to be. Did you ever stop and think that maybe talking to me like this isn't helping?"
...so she bought me a crapton of Hydroxycut for my birthday in July. Because I've always wanted heart AND weight problems.
To say the least. I mean, in retrospect I realize this is her way of showing me she cares, but I'd rather lose weight naturally, intelligently, and honestly - because I'd rather only lost it ONCE - than kill myself scarfing down diet pills in the high hopes they'll solve all my problems, lose 5 pounds, and gain 3x as much back when I stop taking them.
I got this comment from my aunt: "Us Skinny people need to sit in the back seat(referring to herself, my mom and my cousin) so you sit in the front." WTH. I mean I know I'm big but did she HAVE to say it like that.
She probably didn't even realize what she said.. But I did and it hurt.
