Today I went to see a cousin of mine for the first time in 3 years.
We went shopping. I needed some clothes (im a male, she is female so she would know what looks good).

I found a shirt I liked. and also a great casual jacket. The jacket didnt quite fit and I had in my mind that I did gain a few recently. Anyway, tried on the shirt and as I took off my shirt, my body came into view in the mirror.

I almost went into tears. I HATE what I saw. fat, ugly. butt ugly. im a jean size 36.

I need to lose weight but the problem I have is, I do not know what to eat to lose weight.
I did lose weight a while ago when I was abroad but that is because I was eating "proper" food, from the home of my extended family.

These days I just dont know what to eat. I know I ate alot of junk food the past couple of months due to work stress and depression. I am now immediately stopping that along with no fizzy drinks but only water or flavoured water (diluted drink)

can anyone ever so kindly please give me some tips and advice on how to lose weight and as quickly as possible? I know this is NOT for a short term solution but long term hopefully but would like to lose weight quick so I can regain that confidence that has been knocked outta me in one quick hit.

I have only been having like 1.5 meals a day. no breakfast, a little lunch but also dinner.

I really feel disgusted. you have no idea.

Rule #1 love who you are!!!

36 is not huge. My husband wears a 34 pant and he's got like 10% body fat.

You need to be eating more!! Your body needs energy. Your brain needs nutrients to function properly! I bet you'll feel a lot better if you get some quality nutrition going on.

Hang in there, you can do this!

I used to be a men's size 40!! I love bacon cheesburgers, quesidillas, chili--REAL food....BUT....!(and a big BUT) I learned to cook for myself--and I prepare different variations of the foods that made me OVERweight....MYSELF--
Please learn to cook--READ labels-keep a food journal (calorie for calorie)-Losing weight does NOT have to be starvation and salads!!!!

Private message me if you want some recepies OK?! Your not ALONE!! Loved reading your message...please private message me If you need help????

Confidence isn't going to come from a quick few pounds lost. It's going to come from making a commitment to yourself and sticking with it, every day, no matter what.

As far as what to eat: sign up for a free site like Sparkpeople.com where you put in your weight, and what you want to lose and it will give you the right calorie ranges for your body, and it has a function where it will give you meal suggestions.

Take this one day, one hour at a time.

I guess you have to look at the different options available to you as you can find in here.... do some research on the different diets to see what one would fit you.

Personally I'm doing my own thing which is a low carb, high protein based diet and it's working for me. I was eating way too many carbs and since I have started about 3 weeks ago, it's been great.

Here are some examples of what I'm eating...

Breakfast: Bacon and Eggs, Scrambled Eggs, Peanut Butter on Toast.

Lunch: Lean Burger patties, Chicken breast, Fish, Pork steaks... either on their own or with some veggies.

Dinner: Lean Burger patties, Chicken breast, Fish, Pork steaks with some veggies.

Snacks: Low Carb Fruit Any Berries or Atkins Chocolate Bars, Sugar Free Candy, Mixed Nuts unsalted... just a hand full or two.

Drinks: Coffee, Tea, Diet Sodas, Diet Cordial and Water

Those are just some examples that are working for me, but look at the labels and look for things higher in protein than in carbs.

I found that calorie counting worked best for me. Get a book with calorie counts or get it online. I like to use The Calorie King Calorie , Fat and Carbohydrate Counter. I like it because I can carry it with me. Some prefer online. The Calorie King Book has tons of calorie counts and calories for Fast Food, Restaurants and Ethnic Food as well.Calorie Counting costs nothing and no unusual foods to eat or unusual food combinations. This is my preferance. Their are other Diet plans, Weight Watchers, South Beach , Atkins and others, as well as food delivery services. Experiment until you find what works best for you.

Yeah I use The Calorie King App on my phone so when I'm shopping and see something I can check how many calories/carbs/protein...etc It's very handy.

I just wanted to add that my roommate wears size 36, and he is not fat! He's actually a very healthy and attractive man. Maybe you feel fat because you're not used to having this much meat on your bones? Either way you're out of your confort zone, which I understand, and it's best not to put any more weight on because you can very soon be bordering the overweight category. But please don't go into this feeling bad about yourself. 36 is a perfectly acceptable pant size, there's nothing disgusting about it.

What kind of foods do you like to eat? What is your schedule like? Are you able to get a calorie counting app on your phone? Do you able to feel satisfied after eating carb rich foods? Any allergies? There are many plans out there but not everything works for everyone, so these are some good questions to get you started.

I just wanted to say that i understand how you feel. I often stand in front of the mirror and think the exact same thing. I just wanted to say that i feel for ya and you have come to a great place for support. I also just wanted to say that regardless of how big you are..your personality and character still counts more...so dont count yourself out on anything. Just sayin...

Keep your chin up!

Get confident! and start eating breakfast haha, it's the best way to fuel your body. I feel so much better during the day when I eat a full breakfast and stay fueled for the rest of the day.it's the best way to kick start your weight loss start thinking about the things you are putting in your body

If you feel that you are at an unhealthy weight, and are not sure how to fix it in a healthy manor, please, do your current and future self a huge favor and do it safely! Weight Watchers, TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly), those are two organizations that may be in your area and could help you. You could also ask your doctor for a referral to a nutritionist.

Good Luck!

Thanks all for your great replies.
I wish I had responded sooner to your replies but for some reason it didnt notify me of any replies!

anyway.... you are correct on more than one factor (when are you ever NOT right? )

im not used to this amount of "meat" on the bones. And it just looks horrible. First thing is first, to lose weight properly. I think when I see myself be able to wear clothes I have currently, it will definately boost my confidence and help me commit even more to losing weight.

My *** looks fat. but lets focus on the tum tums first

I am actually a vegetarian - so I dont eat meat. I use quorn as a substitution (its like soya/from the fungi food group).

Learn to cook? very true.

I am actually a very busy person and rarely have time for anything. I am always feeling tired and drained and I know part of my job does that but because I am not eating healthy, this is one big factor into my tiredness - you are also correct.

I just dont know what to make, what to eat and what is "right" to eat to start losing those pounds/lbs.

sorry but ramra - if that is your pic in the avatar, damn you look uber cute

about calarie counter - I dont really know how much caleries are in what food but I know they are generally listed on the product. so this I will be sure to take and count up.

I dont eat fruit, but love fruit. so this is something I will add now to my daily snack...

do you still eat eggs, fire? i think they're great at about 70 calories and tons of protein. plus, almost anyone can cook them.

i know what you mean about being busy.. or maybe it's just laziness for me. try your hand at a calorie counter, like others have said. i like myfitnesspal.com which is also an app for your smart phone. (and you can scan barcodes too)

edit: in regards to fruit...if you're busy, my grocery store offers "fruit bowls" in various sizes. seems pricey, but in the end better than buying all that fruit seperately and chopping them up. just a thought!!

Check out SkinnyTaste .com it has wonderful recipes along with all of the recipes on this website. I find that calorie counting works best for me.