Over the past couple of days I've found myself almost wishing I could gain back all the weight I've lost and become invisible again.
I am still a heavy girl. But apparently the 40 lbs I've lost has been enough to start getting a bit of attention again. I am not accustomed to it and I don't know what to do about the situation I am in.
I went out a couple of nights ago, got really, really, unfortunately drunk, and ended up chatting with a guy. He came back to my place and we had a few more drinks, fooled around a bit, and he went home. He left his phone here (something I believe was intentional) and came back over the next morning. I answered the door, gave him back his phone, and we had a bit of an awkward chat during which I tried, in the nicest way possible, to let him know I wasn't interested.
This morning he came over AGAIN. My brother answered the door, told him I wasn't in, and he ended up giving my brother his number and telling him to pass it on to me. I texted him later and again told him I wasn't interested.
But he didn't seem to want to take no for an answer and ended up getting kind of snarky when I repeatedly refused his offers to meet up again.
I don't know what to do. My anxiety is going through the roof right now. I live alone, he knows where I live, and I'm paranoid and worried about my safety. Is that stupid? Should I be worried?
I wouldn't blame this on the weight loss... and you seem to have figured out that getting hammered and inviting a stranger back to your house is a bad idea.
I'd make sure the windows and doors are locked when you are home, be vigilant of your surroundings, and call the police if his texts get weirder or he comes over again. Don't respond to his texts anymore.
And maybe sign up for a self defense class. They are good for teaching all kinds of safety things, and helping you defend yourself if you find you need to.
I wouldn't blame this on the weight loss... and you seem to have figured out that getting hammered and inviting a stranger back to your house is a bad idea.
I'd make sure the windows and doors are locked when you are home, be vigilant of your surroundings, and call the police if his texts get weirder or he comes over again. Don't respond to his texts anymore.
And maybe sign up for a self defense class. They are good for teaching all kinds of safety things, and helping you defend yourself if you find you need to.
I know, I suppose not. It's just that I'm not used to it at all, and when I was drunk it must have seemed like a good idea.
But I sincerely regret it. Very, very bad idea. Thanks for your advice.
I texted him later and again told him I wasn't interested.
But he didn't seem to want to take no for an answer and ended up getting kind of snarky when I repeatedly refused his offers to meet up again.
Don't answer him anymore. At all. Even to say "not interested". Some people tend to consider that since you're answering them, it means you're "secretly wanting to see them again" or somesuch crap (kind of like, "she wants me but she's not aware of it yet, so let's weasel my way in to make her finally realize"... yeah, right). My sis was involved with such a guy who wouldn't leave her alone. I kept on telling her to stop texting him because it was only fuelling his delusions.
I don't think it has to really do with weight loss, so don't let this deter you from. It's more like you unfortunately stumbled upon some weirdo. There's no guarantee that it wouldn't have happened 40 pounds heavier anyway.
If you have a smartphone, you can download a free app called Call Manager to block calls and texts from any numbers you want. I agree- don't answer. This guy is a creep.
It is amazing how we as humans draw make the most utterly illogical conclusions when we're too emotionally close to a situation.
This has NOTHING to do with your weight loss.
Do you really think that if you were 40lbs heavier than anything would have been different about this situation? If you do - you need to take a step back and reevaluate how you came to that conclusion.
Yikes. Losing weight shouldn't coincide with losing your inhibitions. At least when it comes to taking people home drunk. All around bad situation, that could have gotten you seriously hurt. :-( please be safe.
Over the past couple of days I've found myself almost wishing I could gain back all the weight I've lost and become invisible again.
I am still a heavy girl. But apparently the 40 lbs I've lost has been enough to start getting a bit of attention again. I am not accustomed to it and I don't know what to do about the situation I am in.
I went out a couple of nights ago, got really, really, unfortunately drunk, and ended up chatting with a guy. He came back to my place and we had a few more drinks, fooled around a bit, and he went home. He left his phone here (something I believe was intentional) and came back over the next morning. I answered the door, gave him back his phone, and we had a bit of an awkward chat during which I tried, in the nicest way possible, to let him know I wasn't interested.
This morning he came over AGAIN. My brother answered the door, told him I wasn't in, and he ended up giving my brother his number and telling him to pass it on to me. I texted him later and again told him I wasn't interested.
But he didn't seem to want to take no for an answer and ended up getting kind of snarky when I repeatedly refused his offers to meet up again.
I don't know what to do. My anxiety is going through the roof right now. I live alone, he knows where I live, and I'm paranoid and worried about my safety. Is that stupid? Should I be worried?
It's easy. Contact him any way you choose, and tell him that if he contacts you again you're going to notify the police. He's not listening to reason or explanations at this point. Just the mention of "police" will get his attention, even if they're not necessarily able to help.
Thanks for all of your responses, guys. Of course drawing the conclusion that it's because of weight loss is stupid. But when you've been really heavy all of your life and don't know how to deal with this sort of thing, it's difficult.
The situation has only gotten worse. This guy will seriously not leave me alone. I've stopped answering texts completely. I think you're right, Kery. If this continues I will have to involve police.
Amy I'd let the police know now, no harm in just mentioning it to them. Not sure what the law is there but they should be able to give him a warning even if you can't press charges or anything. Hopefully it'll scare him off! Good luck and take care of yourself.
Is there a way you can block him texting you? After you text him one last time, "Please don't contact me again". Block him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amy23
Thanks for all of your responses, guys. Of course drawing the conclusion that it's because of weight loss is stupid. But when you've been really heavy all of your life and don't know how to deal with this sort of thing, it's difficult.
The situation has only gotten worse. This guy will seriously not leave me alone. I've stopped answering texts completely. I think you're right, Kery. If this continues I will have to involve police.
Amy, this sounds less like it's a weight loss problem and more like you have a serious creeper problem. I hope the situation is better but do not hesitate to involve the police in this matter. Stay safe girl!
If you have told him to leave you alone and he won't, there's really nothing wrong with going to the police and filing a report. They probably won't be able to do anything unless it escalates, but it might give you peace of mind. I've definitely done this before (completely different situation, was being harassed by former friends who kept showing up wherever I was and being menacing) and felt silly going in because nothing had actually happened, but once I left I was glad I did it.
Not everything about weight loss is great
There's no guarantee that it wouldn't have happened 40 pounds heavier anyway.
