Has anyone else experienced this? I remember thinking I was fat in high school when I wore size 6 jeans! Then, in my first year university I wished I was back to what I was in high school. Two years ago when I met my fiance I thought I was chubby, now I just want to fit back into those pants again!!
I guess growing up I was always a larger kid and all the other girls would tease and say I was fat, even though, looking back, I was just bigger than they were due to an earlier growth spurt....
As it stands now I am, officially, fat. My BMI is on the far end of the "overweight" range. I'm committed to losing the weight, especially because I'm getting married in 19 months. But I am afraid that, regardless of progress, I will never feel pretty or beautiful....
Well yes, you do need to work on your head as well as your body. Commit to working at physical improvement, sure, but the real value you will find in yourself are things that haven't changed regardless of weight or health. Those are what you need to focus on hitching your perceptions of self-beauty, not a number on the scale or size.
That way, whatever season of life you are in, your beauty and self confidence remain intact. Weight goes up and down, but who we are is a lot more intrinsic than that.
Last edited by Arctic Mama; 05-28-2012 at 05:59 PM.
I was also always a "larger" kid, I was always tall, but I did have some weight to lose too... and I lost and gained, getting as low into the 130s and ballooning all the ways up to 240s... funny thing is, even in those 200s I felt the same as I did in the 160s, wearing big clothes to cover myself up... it's not until I get under 150 that I start to feel "thin" and comfortable with myself (wish it wasn't so hard to get there and maintain!)
I was always the fat twin. I wasn't fat, but compared to my sister, I was chunkier. I was often larger than the other kids, but I think probably not as large as I felt. I look back and think I looked normal, and I wasn't teased or anything.
There were plenty of times in my life when I felt like a big fat cow, and I look at pictures of myself and think "why?" I looked great! I'm wearing shorts now that the last time I wore them, I thought I was like a whale. Now I think, "why?" I think I look pretty darned good now in those shorts. When I got married, I was around 145 and I cried because I didn't want to get married fat! I wasn't fat!
It's amazing the difference in perception when you are going from smaller to larger instead of from larger to smaller.
I still have 35 pounds to go, I still think I'm fat, and I am medically still overweight, but I also think I look good. At least I don't feel like a heifer, the fat girl, the biggest one in the room. I think that as long as I work hard to get there and keep exercising and maintain my weight, I will continue to feel like I'm thin.
At least I hope. I don't want to always feel like it's not good enough. I hope that my perception has changed and I can accept my body even after I lose the weight and I've stayed there for awhile.
I can totally relate to what you're describing. I've recently looked at photos of myself from when I was younger and thought: "I was so thin and I actually looked pretty". Back then of course, I was far from thinking this way. These self-esteem issues have prevented me from truly enjoying myself. In five years I'll probably be looking at photos from today and regret not fully appreciating my youth and body.
Losing weight is great, but if it's not accompanied by accepting yourself and loving each tiny flaw, it's useless.
I can totally relate to what you're describing. I've recently looked at photos of myself from when I was younger and thought: "I was so thin and I actually looked pretty". Back then of course, I was far from thinking this way..
This really is one of the great things about getting older (I'm 36). I remember feeling very 'fat' when I was younger at weights I would thrilled to be now. It's not about settling, necessarily, but it is about taking a long view and showing yourself love NOW.
IMO fat is contextual. My fam is from Hong Kong and when I was a "little chubby" in the USA, I was HUUUGE "big meaty" was my nickname(their words not mine) to them. I think that the attitude towards the size is more important-I can feel crappy about myself at a smaller size, just like I can at a bigger size. I used to call myself all these names, but now I stopped-no matter what size I am. I carry fat, we all do, and I just want to carry less of it now! haha. I tell myself that hating my "fatness" doesn't burn cals =)
As far as feeling pretty or beautiful, well, there are lots of people who aren't beautiful and they live full happy lives. Some are even famous (like Sarah jessica parker) or Angelica Houston or jennifer aniston (who IS pretty, but I think that she's usually considered more "normal" pretty rather than "superstar glam/incredible" pretty) and Pam from the Office. These are all attractive women, but they aren't mainstream stunning in the face and they worked with what they got.
Nope.. i was always fat. So no 'felt like i was fat' because I was.
This! I was always an overweight kid then an obese adult. Now, even as an overweight kid, I thought I was hot $h!t and did too at my highest weight of 242. Sure, I have some fat days but I always bounce back. Yay for self-love.
For those who get down on themselves a lot, I say fake it until you make it!
Always felt "fat" - regardless if I was or not!
