Hi guys, I'm Jessica.

I am 21 years old, 5'6" tall, and 260 pounds.

Last February I had a severe hormonal imbalance, and in addition to the other horrible side effects, I gained almost a hundred pounds in a matter of months. I used to have a perfect body that I was proud of. Now I am too ashamed to wear a bathingsuit or go outside with any semblance of confidence.

I eat healthy, really I do. I excercise regularly (4-7 times per week). I am trying so hard. And getting nowhere. I haven't had the courage to weigh myself in over a year. Yesterday I did. 260 freaking pounds. 85 pounds heavier than I used to be. (I had a ridiculously high muscle mass, so 175 looked GOOD on me).

260 pounds. On an impulse, I bought three different kinds of diet pill and a laxative and started using all of them at once. Yes, I know it was very stupid, but I was (and am) somewhat desperate. I spent the whole night last night throwing up, and alternating between panic attacks and crushing depression.

I don't want to go through that again, so I have decided to only do one kind of diet pill at a time, and only use the laxative once or twice a week. I feel like this is my only hope to get my body back. I am so tired of wanting to cry every time I look in the mirror. I am so very tired of feeling repulsive.

I think a forum like this can help me. I have a wonderful and caring boyfriend, but he just doesn't understand the kind of support I need. I need to surround myself with people who have been there, and are fighting this battle right alongside me. I'm here now. I need help. Please, please help me find the next step. I don't think I can do this alone.

You will need all the support in the world, from your boyfriend, your family, us, but most of all you need to be ready to make a drastic change and have the willpower to do it. It took me almost 10 years to find that willpower and now I am more determined than ever to succeed. Good luck and please stay away from diet pills...

Welcome to 3FC!! I'm sorry you are having such a tough time.

I would recommend you see a doctor. If you are truly eating healthy foods (not OVEReating them...anything can make you gain if you eat enough of it) and exercising...there is a problem somewhere.

Do me a favor? Please stop taking the diet pills and laxatives. They will only hurt you in the long run.

Lots of lovely friends here for support. You made a good choice joining this site.

Hello. Welcome. And I'm very sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.

I think you should see a doctor as soon as possible. Diet pills and laxatives are a slippery slope, I've BTDT! I understand where you are coming from, I really do! But punishing your body is not going to get you to where you want to be, and I say that from a very very sincere and caring place! If there's something going on with your body that is truly preventing you from losing weight, you doctor can help, and you doctor can also help if you are suffering from depression.

Stick around here and you will get a ton of support. Best of luck and hope to see you around A LOT!

Throw the pills away please!!

It's worth repeating - the dr treating your hormonal inbalance really should be the first place you start. Not diet pills. There is no wonder drug. They just want your money...

Throw out the pills, call your dr, and get a plan that works for you started. You didn't gain weight because of your worthiness. Your body is not functioning properly and you need to find out what is causing it, and how to treat it.

Good luck!

We're here for you.
C7

Thanks you guys

I can already see from your responses, and the threads I have been reading, that this was a good forum to join.

As for seeing a doctor, I have. And she is somewhat less than helpful. In fact, I am in the process of changing doctors because I can't stand her. Doctors that graduate from medical school with "A" averages get the same title as those that graduate with "C" averages, and this woman is living proof.

AnnieDrews: I don't *think* I overeat. I don't count calories, but I am careful about what I put in my mouth. We don't ever, EVER, eat fastfood. I only cook with whole ingredients, none of that processed caca. I typically eat a bowl of cereal (grapenuts/etc, not sugary stuff) for breakfast, a sandwich or can of soup for lunch, and whatever I decide to cook for dinner (most often variations of chicken with some sort of vegetables and a carb, typically rice). I do occasionally (once every week or two) make something more interesting for breakfast or dinner, but that's pretty much it. If there is something I need to change, I am willing to change it. I just don't know what it is.

About the diet pills. So far all the feedback I have gotten says to stop them. I really don't want to. I paid a lot for them and I really want to see if they work. I definitely don't consider them a permanent solution by any means. Just kind of a kickstart to get things back into swing. Are they really so dangerous?

Thank you for your kind responses. I really am motivated to get the weight off. My goal is to be back to 175 or below by this time next year. I WILL make this happen!

I am an expert on diet pills because I am always looking for the short cut. I've done a ton of research and I'll tell you that diet pills work but not very much and at a high price. Without going into a lot of mind numbing detail I'll just simply explain how they work.

They speed up your metabolism. The most powerful ones you can buy legally only speed it up by around 5%. What this means is that at your size you probably have a BMR of around 1800-2000.

At most - you're burning an extra 100 calories a day.

The price you pay for burning these 100 calories is signifigant. They speed up your heart rate and increase your blood pressure. They often cause anxiety and affect your mood in a negative fasion which can serverly affect how you're eating.

Take the pills and throw them away.

For the rest of it you've gotten good advice. Go find another doctor. Eating "healthy" probably isn't enough you will probably need to count calories or otherwise restrict your eating.

Eating healthy will not cause you to lose weight. Eating fewer calories than your body needs will. I suggest you start by taking inventory of how much you eat and reducing the amount by about 500 calories. There's no reason you can't be successful! Keep us posted.

F.

JohnP: What does BMR stand for?

Freelancemomma: Correct me if I'm wrong. I am under the impression that the bigger a person is, the more calories it takes to maintain their body weight. So if an 800lb person eats enough calories to maintain a 300lb weight, they will lose weight. Whereas if a 200lb person were to eat the same amount they would gain weight. And in that way, it's all relative. I am eating better and less now than I was when I was maintaining 175lbs. I am also exercising now when I wasn't before. So shouldn't that mean that I should be losing weight? I hope that made sense

Hey there, I used to take laxatives too, not for diet purposes but because I have always had digestive issues (esp if on certain meds) I really wanted to poo. I found that the pills would sort of work, I "went" but it was also small and uncomfortable and very dry (TMI but hey oh well haha)

I did find some ways without pills that worked much better for me, when I have some time I will try to compile them! Digestion is very imp. to me haha.

How many calories do you eat a day? (or if its up and down, how many on average). Also, what do you eat? I am just curious because I used to be really into cal counting, and some meals are a little tricky to calculate and also cause me to retain a lot of water.

I know you weren't asking ME but, there's no way to know until you count calories. Not saying you have to do it FOREVER, just to get an idea of what range you are eating in. I'm talking weigh (if possible) or measure everything you eat, account for every taste, every bite, every bit of oil you use when you are cooking etc.

If you are eating less now than you were when maintaining at 175, and that is 100% accurate, then it sounds like a medical problem, which diet pills and laxatives will not fix.

I'd still encourage you to calorie count for a week or 2 to make sure you are eating what you think you are eating and go from there.

pixelllate: Laxatives have had a very different effect on me. I get mild-moderate cramps, and when I go (every couple of hours) it is neither small nor dry. In fact, I have had to up my liquid intake significantly to ward of dehydration.

I don't count calories, but I don't mind posting examples of what I eat.

Typical Breakfast: 1 bowl of grapenuts cereal with fat free milk.
Once every week or two I will make eggs/etc. Once every couple of months I will make something like waffles.

Typical lunch: Can of low-sodium heart healthy soup, or a sandwich on whole wheat bread. Today it's a can of tomato soup. Yesterday it was a turkey sandwich. This almost never varies.

Typical Dinner: There really is no "typical" dinner actually. I cook a variety of things. Tonight it's tuna casserole with peas. Tomorrow it's grilled chicken with green beans and rice. Friday it's baked chicken with asparagus. Next week I might make a pot roast. Or Chicken noodle soup. Etc etc.

I would love to learn what foods can make one retain water more than others. I must admit, I am not very knowledgable about anything of that nature.

Hmmm. Ok, I will try counting my calories starting tomorrow. I don't have the tools to weigh what I eat. If I may ask, what is the purpose of weighing it? Wow, the more y'all post, the more I realize I don't know

Everything you wrote is correct. I just wanted to point out that eating healthy doesn't automatically lead to weight loss. It's the amount that counts. If you're eating less than your body needs, you should lose weight. If you're NOT losing, you need to see your doctor to find out if hormonal issues are preventing you from losing.

F.