Giving up.
 

Yep, title is correct. I'm giving up losing weight. I'm really depressed with how I look but yet I no longer have the motivation to continue. Since I quit starving myself I'm pretty sure I put on ten pounds. Had another binge today. Perfect.

Well, I totally give up. No more motivation.

Good luck to all you wonderful people on 3FC

You're so close to your goal weight, don't give up now. Even if you had a bad day, fell off track etc, you have to get back on the horse and ride again.

You don't need to swing from diet to giving up. Maintain for a while. Work on being good to yourself by gradually moving toward healthy habits and don't worry about weight loss. You're worth it.

You had another binge, but don't sound happy. Just remind yourself "I really don't like binging - I feel like crap after." Then move on.

Just maintain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Be careful not to gain!! Maintain for a few months to give yourself a break from losing. If you totally give up, you'll be right back where you started and you've worked so hard to get where you are already. Maintain. Maintain. Maintain. Then reevaluate in a few months.

Wow, have I been there. We all feel like giving up at times. Many of us do. But the question is, when we give up, just what, or more importantly, WHO, are we giving up on? That's the question I ask myself every time I fail at a weight loss attempt. I know the answer is me and how can I really give up on myself?

I agree with the posters that said maintain. We shouldn't be dieting anyway, we should be trying to make sustainable changes in the way we think about food and the choices we make. It's easier said than done, I know, but that's what we should be shooting for.

So, I'm with you on one thing...stop dieting. Just do your best to be your best self. If you eat something awful, find the courage to try to eat a healthy meal the next time. Don't throw in the towel. Trust me, it will get you to a place you don't want to be (points finger at self).

Oh honey, I feel so bad for you. I agree with the previous posters. Just "coast" for a while. You shouldn't have to "starve". If you are feeling like you are starving, then something is out of whack. Give yourself a little break and just watch...kinda. Try to at least keep the stuff nutritious that you are eating, but feed yourself so that you don't feel so hungry without regard to calories for a while. That way you don't feel so deprived, but there is still a bit of control going on, which makes you feel like you are still in charge. I hope this is just a short term thing, for your sake.

I used to starve myself and since I quit I've been eating whatever I want. I'm pretty sure I've gained at least ten pounds.

And it really gets to me I've gotten to the point where I just wanna give up and die cuz I really hate myself and the way I look. I can't even wear what I want. I hide my body in clothes 3 sizes too big and wear a giant hoodie because I'm soooo self conscious.

10 lbs is not the end of the world. You have lost so much weight already...I am sure you look a lot better than you think you do. I understand the feeling of not being at the weight you want to be, but just remember one thing: you might think everyone is looking at you and judging you, but they are so worried about how they look they hardly have time to concern themselves with other people. It's true. When I came to understand this, I relaxed a lot about worrying about "appearances", and decided to make changes for myself, but I stopped worrying about what other people thought. Hugs to you...I can feel your pain and frustration and I hope it gets better for you.

If you give up now and go back to your normal lifestyle, you'd just have wasted all that time. Look at the weight that you DID lose, aren't you proud of yourself for that? You should give yourself more credit, because you deserve it. And I'm not sure why you're so self-conscious. You're 5'5 and according to your ticker, you're 143 pounds. That's in the normal bmi range, is it not? I'm 5'4, 160 pounds, and while I do have some self-confidence issues such as yourself, I don't think of myself as ugly or anything because I know I'm not. You're just being too hard on yourself, so just relax. Go for a run, listen to some music, read a book, and have a good sleep. Wake up tomorrow and continue this journey. You can do it!! I know you can!!!!

Don't give up. Do you know what I would give to be at 143 pounds? That's an amazing number.

I hope you are just having a bad day and can banish these thoughts of giving up tomorrow. I have given up so many times, and I have felt horrible every time I gave up. No matter how depressed you are, you will feel worse if you give up and gain it all back.

Try to just maintain for a few weeks. It's all right to take a break. If you have access to a counselor, talk to one to help you. I wish you luck.

I just get so dang discouraged when I look in the mirror half naked.......

And plus I've been eating fattening foods and I binged a lot lately :'(

Noooo! Don't give up! Especially not just because you think you may have gained a bit. It's one thing to reach a point where you might be above what's considered "healthy" but decide you're okay with where you are; it's another thing entirely to give up out of disgust or shame because of something you think you've done "wrong".

Look, everyone binges from time to time. Everyone experiences gains (even big ones!) And everyone *definitely* gets discouraged from time to time. This is a process where it's pretty much impossible *not* to experience setbacks periodically. But the important thing is to keep going!

Someone once said something here on the forum that made SO much sense to me, in regard to setbacks: If you were climbing a set of stairs and stumbled, would you keep on going...or would you turn around and throw yourself back down to the bottom? The answer seems kind of obvious, doesn't it? And it's the same way with weight loss. You shouldn't just give up because you've stumbled. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep going!

Take a break if you need to...maintain for a while if you want...but if you aren't happy with where you are right now, what makes you think you'll be any happier if you give up and gain ALL your weight back?

You know what? I've lost 63 pounds, I'm officially in the healthy body fat percentage and all that, and I still get discouraged when I look at myself half naked in the mirror. But I also realize that once I get a bit more toned up, I'm going to look fantastic...and so will you! You've done so well and lost so much...don't give up on yourself now.

Don't give up!!! I maintained for an entire year because I was just in a place where I couldn't do it anymore. I'm SO glad I made the decision to do that. There have been so many times I've just given up and gained a bunch of weight back. This year I proved to myself that it doesn't have to be that way.

It's ok to take a maintenance break! You can do this!!! you can you can you can!!!

Give up now? You'll be sorry you did when you reach my age.

I understand being depressed, lacking the motivation, not liking what you see in the mirror, what have you . . . but it's about more than how you look. So much more. And it shouldn't ever be about starving yourself, it's about eating healthy so you can feel better and live life to its fullest.

No offense, but I envy you. As hard as I've worked as an adult, I've not once been under 200 pounds on the scale. Not once. And I spent years feeling ashamed of myself, hiding and sheltering away my body, too preoccupied with what others thought of my looks to enjoy life. But not anymore. Who cares if I'll never have the body of a supermodel? That's not what I need to be confident and comfortable in my skin. There's so much more to life than trying to reach a physical ideal. If anything, just eat better so you can continue to feel better. No one says this has to be an all or nothing thing, just do what you can to move in the right direction.

Give up on yourself now, and it's likely your weight and health will get away from you even more over time, and you'll someday look back and wonder how you let it all happen. Heh, I personally wish I didn't feel so fat and disgusting at 220 pounds . . . I eventually reached 360 pounds! It's taken me about 7 years to get down to where I am now, and I don't ever plan on giving up on myself.

You shouldn't either.

You should give up starving yourself.
Although I'm very new, I can tell that this community is full of lovely people who are wonderfully supportive. Judging just from the responses to this thread, it seems that there are plenty of people who want to help you through the methods of weight loss that are a lot healthier and more sustainable. So come on, stick with us!

You shouldn't give up! Look how far you've come already! And who cares if you've bindged for one day or 10 days, its never to late to get right back on track and keep working towards your goal!

I've mentioned this many times before, however when I feel very depressed and discouraged about weight loss, I always turn here or to Tumblr. There are sooooo many wonderful people who want to see you at a heathy, HAPPY weight!

This will sound corny, but don't let food be the source that will make you "happy". I suggest going out and finding a weird, unique hobby that can take up time and give you something to work on that makes you proud! Whether it be knitting scarves or painting pictures, find something you can create and surpress the time food is trying to consume in your life.

My favorite line still to this day: Don't let your yesterday get in the way of your tomorrow!

Best of luck! We are all wishing the best for you!

chibir3dpanda I can understand what you're saying.

I'm not going to tell you not to quit. That's up to you.

I will tell you that if your motivation is to look good naked than "starving" yourself is not the way to do it. (Not sure if you're being facetious or not.)

Lifting heavy weights and losing weight slowly is.

A couple suggestions...
SPIKE DIET
&
Intermittent Fasting
combined with
HEAVY LIFTING!

If you think you hate the way you look now, just imagine how much you'll LOVE yourself 10, 20, 30 lbs heavier!!

Definitely don't give up. Draw a line underneath that last binge and re-focus.....and on yourself and learning to love yourself! You've done really well but you also need to work on feeling good about yourself because if you carry on as you are, you'll end up letting it slide and end up where I did. I spent years thinking I looked awful and dressed just as you said you do and ended up over 200lb. Now I'm in my 40's I'll never get back my 20+ yr old body but you know what....I face the world with my head held high and a big smile on my face because I feel fantastic! The funny thing is, people react to that and because I believe it, they do too.

It's not an easy journey and we all have bad patches. Don't let all your hard work slide. Cut yourself some slack, maintain for a while and stick with it. Maybe go clothes shopping with some friends and break out of your comfort zone - you might be surprised at how much better it makes you feel.

As it says on my training t-shirt - be yourself, only better! :)

I agree with most of the other posters. Maybe think about maintaining to give yourself a break, and try not to gain it all back! You're an inspiration to me for having managed to lose as much as you did; it'd be a shame to undo all of your hard-earned work.

Hang in there, and good luck with everything. :hug:

Oh this is so true! Not only that but by hiding yourself in large clothes you are actually keeping people from recognizing your progress and commenting on it. We all need verbal encouragement but your not letting anyone do it for you. It's one thing to get encouragement here, it's another to get encouragement from the people you interact with day after day. Don't hide! Hiding yourself away may be the very thing that's causing you to binge. Keep up the good work!

I feel you, that's exactly how I feel. After not being able to lose anymore weight for six months, I've decided to work hard to maintain and to do some serious weight training in hopes of re-compositioning my body. And seriously at your weight I'm sure you don't look nearly as bad as you think you do, you've already reached a healthy BMI you should be proud of yourself :)

Actually, no. My weight right now is not a healthy BMI for my age.

You are in the healthy range. I understand wanting to slim up but you are not overweight. It sounds like you do not see your self accurately and may have image/esteem issues. You might consider discussing your concerns with a doctor or therapist to gain clearer insight.

I entered your stats to the CDC website's BMR calculator. http://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/***...alculator.html

Results:
For the information you entered: Calculate again: English | Metric

Height: 5 feet, 5 inches
Weight: 143 pounds

Your BMI is 23.8, indicating your weight is in the Normal category for adults of your height.

For your height, a normal weight range would be from 111 to 150 pounds.

Maintaining a healthy weight may reduce the risk of chronic diseases associated with overweight and obesity.

For information about the importance of a healthy diet and physical activity in maintaining a healthy weight, visit Preventing Weight Gain.

BMI
Weight Status
Below 18.5 Underweight
18.5—24.9 Normal
25.0—29.9 Overweight
30.0 and Above Obese

Good luck with whatever your next goals are OP. I hope you find something that makes you happier.

You can suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret.

This is similar to the "choose your hard" quote that's floated around 3FC before. Maybe it resonates with your current mindset? I'm sorry that you're frustrated and unhappy with things. That's an indicator that you need to change something - either what you're doing or how you're thinking, or both. A huge part of it is mental; a person can certainly be miserable at any weight.

But giving up doesn't actually make you feel better. It's just swapping out one kind of frustration for another. You ditch the short-term frustration you're feeling, but the tradeoff is feeling even more regret down the road. Time is going to march on, either way -- so choose the option that, for you, is going to bring more happiness in the long run. Good luck!

I hope that you do not decide to give up. There is NO reason to starve yourself. You can lose weight with a diet that keeps you satisfied and allows for treats when you crave them.
My advice for you is to GET RID of the baggy clothes and hooded sweatshirt. Go out and find yourself an outfit that fits your body and makes you feel GOOD. You have worked HARD to lose those 40 plus pounds, show it off and be proud. You do not have to spend a ton of money, go to the goodwill, go to thrift shops. You will be amazed at how much better you feel about yourself in a great outfit.
I would add, if you are not currently doing so, start lifting weights and toning, you will be amazed that with some dedication and time, how much your body changes. I have been consistently working out, have not lost any weight since November but still get a ton of compliments on how good I look and I am 42.

DON'T QUIT!
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is weird with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

~ Author unknown

I think most of us go thru the "why not just give up?" times. We all feel a little defeated when we're struggling so hard & the weight is not coming off like we'd hoped/planned.

I think it's OK to give up, if by giving up you mean give yourself a break. You can stop "dieting" for awhile. It's not a big deal - just maintain for a few months. It's NOT OK to give up if you mean you would rather eat whatever you want, whenever you want, as much as you want, until you're back to your start weight, or possibly higher. Because you've already lost 43 lb. FORTY-THREE POUNDS! - that's a LOT of weight! You've done it! You've proven to yourself that YOU CAN LOSE WEIGHT! You haven't reached the finish line yet, but you're ALMOST THERE! Why give up now??

Maybe what you really need is a new plan of attack. Perhaps you're just bored or completely done with your current diet. There are hundreds of diets out there. Maybe it's time to find a new one. Maybe it will work better than the one you are currently on. Maybe the weight will come off faster, easier.

You'll never know if you give up. You'll only find out if you try. :hug:

I think this has been said on other threads, I think you need to find someone to help you find balance. In another one of your threads you indicated that you lost the 40 lbs by starving yourself and that you think "all food makes you gain weight".

Many people need help to find a healthy relationship with food.

This is excellent advice. The best way to overcome a habit is to replace it.

F.

Agreed, and this comes from someone who has always struggled with disordered eating. When I finally saw a nutritional therapist, I realized that I will never be "perfect," but I can be beautiful and happy with myself.

She started repairing my relationship with food by EATING. We sat and planned my meals down to the measurements. She started me on 1600 calories a day and I gained weight because I hadn't eaten enough for years, and I was uncomfortably full for a while. We worked on re-feeding.

8:30 - vegetable and 3 egg white omelette with high fiber bread
11:00 - Greek yogurt
1:00 - 1 cup homemade veggie soup, turkey sandwich with spinach and tomato
4:30 - apple and 1T peanut butter
6:30 - 1/2 cup brown rice, 4oz protein, the other half of the plate non-starchy veg
9:00 - pretzels with 2oz hummus

At this point, I've pared down my meals from this, and I'm now hungry at the appropriate times. I'm not starving. I eat small amounts six times a day and I'm satisfied with my meals. I don't binge because I'm not starving anymore, and I'm able to lose weight healthily now.

Hiring the nutritional therapist was the best thing I've ever done for myself. 17 years of disordered eating and hatred for my body, all fixed because I worked hard to improve my self-esteem with a qualified professional.

I don't think you should give up, but maybe you should put it on the backburner for awhile. I know your recent loss has devestated you and that's a hard thing to work through. :hug: You've certainly been in my thoughts and prayers. I encourage you to continue seeing your therapist. Worry about weightloss when you've come to a better place.

Yeah, that's for adults. I'm a teen.
I went to that link and used the BMI calculator for teens and children, and this is what I got:

Based on the height and weight entered, the BMI is 23.3 , placing the BMI-for-age (I removed my age, I would prefer not to tell.) at the 86th percentile. This teen is overweight.

If you are a teen then it is even MORE important that you not starve yourself and try and find a healthy relationship with food. Your hormonal, muscular, skeletal development can be greatly impacted by lack of nutrition.

Also, I would use caution in making an assessment of your weight using that calculator alone. BMI is inaccurate as a tool for adults, the way it is being used in the child and teen scenario is even MORE inaccurate.

First of all it is calculating height and weight percentiles from charts that are notorious for being out of date and only representative of a portion of the population. Second, at the age range you are currently you are also dealing with variations in puberty. Girls who entered puberty early will read higher BMI on this chart than girls that entered puberty later. Puberty is not an on/off switch. For most girls the process takes around 10-15 years for all of the changes (hip widening, breast development, musculature development, etc.) to complete. Where you are in this window can greatly shift your age related BMI

Since you were formerly overweight, odds are good that your puberty was shifted a bit to the earlier side and you moved along the development curve at a faster rate. You may still be chronologically a teen, but you may developmentally be closer to adulthood than girls who have never had weight struggles

Bottom line is whereever you are now is certainly better than where you were and there is NOTHING wrong with taking a maintenance break to improve your relationship with food, especially since the alternatives you seem to see right now are either starving, which can permanently alter your hormonal, reproductive and skeletal development, or binge eat yourself back to obesity. Berating yourself for not being 10 lbs lighter isnt productive.

Given your age, you would be well served in finding a trusted adult, if it cant be your parents, then someone else to talk to about the struggles you are having with your food.

Thanks Thistleberry :hug:

Thanks for the advice everyone

I guess I'll get back up and try again..

in your teens, you have a lot to contend with.

hormones are swinging all over the map, moods fling from left to right and back without warning. everything seems soooooo crucially critical today and tomorrow you don't give a rat's about anything.

this is all normal.

teens are wierd.

however, screwing up your health by disordered eating is not going to make you feel better.

food is not the enemy - food is fuel. all the things you like to do, whether it's swimming, hiking, basketball, or marathon phone/facebook sessions all require energy. if you don't have enough food, you don't have enough fuel, and your motivation dribbles away.

stop, take a deep breath, and go back to square one. no, it doesn't mean you'll go "poof" and undo any progress you've made - you have to work to do that. regardless how easy it is to gain weight, you still have to get the food and eat it.

start by setting yourself *reasonable* goals - goals with numbers and deadlines.

me - i have 100lbs to lose. i'm 45yrs old - it's going to be *nowhere near* as easy as it was when i did it the first time at the age of 24. then again, i was a heavy smoker at 24 and i haven't smoked since '97 and while i had way more energy at 24, i didn't know squat about what i was doing, so who knows - maybe it'll balance out.

if i were to focus on the 100lbs only, i'd go mental. it'd be like in the movies where the character stays in focus in the foreground while the background stretches waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to the back.

instead, i set small goals - my first goal was to get to 220, which i did. now my goal is 210 - i'm at 217.5 right now, so not much longer and well on track for my deadline of april 10th.

this time around, yeah - i just jumped into my diet with both feet but only because i'm very familiar with it and i know exactly what i'm doing.

the first time took me weeks to work into it bit by bit.

if you want a study-buddy, feel free to PM me.

I agree that you shouldn't give up. Just hold on for a while. From the reading I just did after googling teenage BMI, you are barely in the overweight category at the 86% range - though it's impossible to say without your age.

I know body image is important to you, but just hang in there. Eat sensibly and start back on lower calories when you feel you can deal with it. YOU are too important to not take the best care possible of yourself. And that means not undoing the great work you've already done by losing over 40 pounds. Your "old" self will thank you for staying sensible.

Lin

*sigh* Now I'm just confused