Yes, an 8 & 11 year old know better but kids are kids and sometimes they are going to do things they know they shouldn't, and most of the time they are going to lie about it when they are busted. Surely this cannot be news to most of us!?!?? I've done it. My boy will do it when he's old enough to know better. You've all done it. Mom yelled at them. They still lied. Now what? Call the police? Just kidding....
No offense--but what about a bit of discipline? Some form of punishment at all? I don't believe in just shrugging off lying by saying "kids will be kids." Yes, kids will be kids and parents should be parents and punish them if they lie. After all, that's how they learn not to do it.
Yes, it's just a granola bar. To me, that's the least of the issue. The bigger issue is that they felt okay to take something that didn't belong to them, didn't fess up to it, and apparently, there were no consequences for it.
Yeah, but it was one granola bar. ONE! No one is saying that the OP is not entitled to her emotions (in this case, anger). What most here seem to be saying is that the OP needs to forgive and forget. These were children, not terrorists. They had no ill intent and made an honest mistake. Sure, they didn't fess up to their mistake, but, as others have mentioned, children lie (****, adults lie) because they do not want to get into trouble. It's okay to get angry over perceived slights, but it's a bit ludicrous to stay angry, especially at children.
I never said she should stay angry at the kids (that is silly) but that i get why she was upset. She's on here ranting instead of yelling at the kids after all.
A lot of people just seem to be dismissing her complaints. I was just chiming in to say that yes, I know it was something little but I completely understand being annoyed when you're trying to avoid temptation
I didn't think the OP sounded that angry, but just annoyed and venting. Comparing her frustration to a reaction to terrorism is a little far-fetched. It would annoy me as well - that doesn't mean I'd do anything about it other than grumble a little and figure out another way. I assume she has a lunchbox for her "packed" meal, but maybe that was an error on my part.
I tend to have a difficult time adjusting to my meals being thrown off during the day too, especially if it's while I'm at work, where I eat two snacks and a meal. I don't have time to run to the store in the middle of my day, but I do get hungry. That hunger can get intense, because after many years of eating similarly, my body just expects it.
I also pre-pack my meals and meals for others (I plan and pack meals for coworkers) and would be upset if someone took a portion of something out of one that I've already measured, calculated, labeled, and packed.
I don't know the exact circumstances (if the bag was labeled, if this is something they know, etc, etc), but if my child knowingly took someone else's things and then lied about it, she would have a consequence, no matter what it was. It's just the way we do it in my house.
No offense--but what about a bit of discipline? Some form of punishment at all? I don't believe in just shrugging off lying by saying "kids will be kids." Yes, kids will be kids and parents should be parents and punish them if they lie. After all, that's how they learn not to do it.
Yes, it's just a granola bar. To me, that's the least of the issue. The bigger issue is that they felt okay to take something that didn't belong to them, didn't fess up to it, and apparently, there were no consequences for it.
What kind of discipline?
The mom yelled at them. I guess that was her form of discipline. Maybe she did more later? The OP is not the mother, we don't know what happened. Or are we just assuming that the mother yelled at them and then went about her day???
Should she have sent them back to the store to buy a new case? Taken away the TV? Smacked them across the face or hit them until one of them confessed?
Every parent has their own form of discipline and everyone will argue what is the right thing to do - you know parenting, everyone has their down dang opinion about what you should do with your own child. Maybe being yelled at is their mother's form of consequence? May not be good enough for you but it might be the way for her to do it.
Funny how someone being annoyed about their meal plan deviating (which can be stressful for some) has completely transformed into a discussion about how some woman didn't discipline her kids properly. Now THAT is quite the assumption.
Another thing, are we even certain that it was one of the kids who ate the granola bar? Is the OP certain? She says that one of them ate it, but did she witness the act or is she just assuming it was one of the kids? It could have been the OP's friend (or her husband/boyfriend if one exists). My dad eats my sister's food all the time and vice versa, but it is easy in that case to know who the food bandit is. When there are at least four people in a living situation, the the lines become blurred. It is also easier to blame one of the kids than to accuse a friend of theft. It's also uncertain if the kids even knew that the granola bar was the OP's and was therefore off limits. There are a lot of assumptions flying around (by the OP firstly). There was food in a refrigerator and it was eaten and now the OP is upset. Those are the only facts in the "case." Anything else is purely circumstantial.
Also, punishing two kids for allegedly eating a granola bar and then allegedly lying about is just dumb IMO. Firstly, you don't even know if they ate it (did they split it or did only one of them eat it?). And, secondly, they ate something that they may or may not have known was off-limits out of a fridge containing food that they normally eat without needing permission. Seems like a very flimsy situation to base punishment or a lesson off of. Just saying.
Funny how someone being annoyed about their meal plan deviating (which can be stressful for some) has completely transformed into a discussion about how some woman didn't discipline her kids properly. Now THAT is quite the assumption.
Oh goodness @ these responses! I didn't mean to open Pandora's box.
As someone else stated I wasn't 'MAD' at the kids for eating the granola bar. I was annoyed because it was an interruption of my pre planned meal. And yes, I KNOW it was one of them who ate it because there is only the kids, myself, and this woman in the house at the time it was stolen. And I know my 6 month old didn't do it!
They also knew that it was mine because I heard them ask their mom about it in the fridge and she TOLD them that it belonged to me. Yet, the next morning when I went to get my lunch it was gone. Also, these kids have a penchant for taking things (mostly food) that they shouldn't have and eating it in their rooms (where they aren't supposed to have it). In fact, the mom had to start locking the pantry because they would sneak in there and steal snack.
Knowing this, you might ask why I didn't go to greater lengths to keep my food safe. Well, they've never once touched anything out of my lunch before. And two, I witnessed the mother tell them that the snacks in the fridge belonged to me. I assumed that would be enough to deter them. Well, now, obviously I will do more to make sure my lunch remains uneaten.
Sorry, granola bars are nutritionally junky enough I think the kid was doing you a favor
That said, I'd be annoyed as well if something I planned on eating went missing. It happens around here a lot, too, and I've learned to clearly label my food containers and explain to my husband why thins are set aside and what is up for grabs. We even have a whiteboard on the fridge where I can list leftovers, meals I've planned for the family, etc, to reduce confusion.
Try to put it in context and not get too steamed - use this as your litmus that you need to clearly state and perhaps get clever with the storage of your food. They probably should have asked, but now that it has happened hopefully all involved have learned from it, right?
Oh goodness @ these responses! I didn't mean to open Pandora's box.
As someone else stated I wasn't 'MAD' at the kids for eating the granola bar. I was annoyed because it was an interruption of my pre planned meal. And yes, I KNOW it was one of them who ate it because there is only the kids, myself, and this woman in the house at the time it was stolen. And I know my 6 month old didn't do it!
They also knew that it was mine because I heard them ask their mom about it in the fridge and she TOLD them that it belonged to me. Yet, the next morning when I went to get my lunch it was gone. Also, these kids have a penchant for taking things (mostly food) that they shouldn't have and eating it in their rooms (where they aren't supposed to have it). In fact, the mom had to start locking the pantry because they would sneak in there and steal snack.
Knowing this, you might ask why I didn't go to greater lengths to keep my food safe. Well, they've never once touched anything out of my lunch before. And two, I witnessed the mother tell them that the snacks in the fridge belonged to me. I assumed that would be enough to deter them. Well, now, obviously I will do more to make sure my lunch remains uneaten.
Yeah, it sounds like there's a deeper problem, here, than a missing granola bar. So, maybe we should all focus on the bigger issues and not sweat the small stuff.
I know that it's annoying to have your food eaten (I hate it and I think everyone hates it.). But, as the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Hide your food in the interim, but maybe also talk to the mom about having a conversation with her children about why they continue to steal food and binge on it. That issue worries me more than your missing granola bar.
Yeah, it sounds like there's a deeper problem, here, than a missing granola bar. So, maybe we should all focus on the bigger issues and not sweat the small stuff.
I know that it's annoying to have your food eaten (I hate it and I think everyone hates it.). But, as the saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Hide your food in the interim, but maybe also talk to the mom about having a conversation with her children about why they continue to steal food and binge on it. That issue worries me more than your missing granola bar.
I don't think they are binging.....
I just think they take goodies that that they aren't supposed to have up to their rooms and eat them in secret. I mean, its not that odd a thing to do for kids but they still shouldn't take things that don't belong to them.
Gonnabfitmom: I have a question. Was the granola bar and other stuff just "in the fridge" or was it in a lunch bag or box? I understand that the kids knew it was yours and I agree that there should have been a little bit of discipline given the fact that they asked, were told, and deliberately disobeyed. But did they actually go into your lunch bag? Or was it on the shelf in plain sight? If it was in a bag, I think there might be a bigger problem since it's obvious that the bag is your and they went through it. If that is not the case, maybe simply putting everything in a bag is the solution, as has been suggested. What's in the bag is off limits. Period.
It's tough. Even at 8 and 11 we do things that seem like no big deal when we do them and are surprised at the outcome. Heck, even as adults! A heart to heart might make a big difference, too. Appeal to their human side and let them know you were hurt and that it made it harder to do your job because you didn't have your full lunch, etc. I realize you're more upset about the denial than the "theft," but sometimes it's just so hard to be good! Discipline should be dealt out to BOTH children in equal measure - since everyone knows that one of them did it and won't fess up.
Perhaps an extra bar or 2 in your desk or locker at work is a solution to that part of the problem. I sure hope the situation didn't / doesn't get in the way of your friendship. It seems like you have a wonderful friend who is willing to allow you to stay overnight to make your life simpler. We all need friends like that. How wonderful that you have one.
When I grill up chicken, it takes me quite a while to go through it all. My brother has easily eaten up three or four of my lunches in one sitting. So I hide it at the back of the fridge now. I told him to just tell me if he finishes it up so I at least know to make more and don't open the fridge to find nothing to make lunch with...but he never did, so I hide it now.
I'm living the same **** with my bf. With my healthy food and my oh dear important huge black chocolate bar that can last me a month. I take 1-2 squares at time, take time to appreciate my treat, but then he found out and pig out on all of it in one sitting while he listen to movies.
FEELINGS.
