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Old 01-16-2012, 01:20 PM   #1  
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This is not meant to be depressing that is not my intention. But did any of you ever thank you were too far gone too heavy to even try? I have been dieting for almost two week now. No results yet I know it is too soon but I have to can't help but feel disappointed and discouraged. Did you ever say How am I every going to do this where do I start? My mother used to say that to me oh you are too far gone too out of proportion and I not half as big as I am now. It just seems like such a big mountain no pun indented. It is so discouraging . But I do realize that no matter now little caloires I eat the wieght is still going to be there for a while. I am so ashamed of what I did. But I also realize then getting back to my weight is not a cure all.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:25 PM   #2  
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I felt this way very recently.

But no one is too far gone to burn more calories than they take in. If you are alive, you are capable of burning fat

I'm most likely too far gone for a smooth, blemish free stomach.
But a strong, flat stomach even with stretch marks and sagging skin is about 1000% better than a bowl of peach jello, which is what I have now.

It is a bitter pill to accept and cope with the fact that this is a long, slow process. I don't have an answer for that, except that each day you carry a bit less fat than the day before.

What plan are you using?
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:30 PM   #3  
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I just finished reading your other thread....

Yes. But it has to be done. Because not trying isnt a good alternative. It can seem overwhelming which is why many will break it up into smaller goals. 5 lbs, 10 lbs. I tend to do holiday to holiday goals. The bigger picture can make you hyperventilate and panic. But 5 lbs? I can handle 5 lbs. Currently you are floundering and panicking. Breathe. Take stock. Make a plan. Work a PLAN. A healthy plan A plan that you can use for LIFE, not for crash dieting.

You havent weighed yourself yet, you only took your first set of measurements was it yesterday or today? Two weeks - no results is a statement that needs perspective. Are you going to, without any metrics, in 2 weeks see a change? Probably no.

Especially not when you are talking to yourself with as much self-loathing as you currently do. When you talk to yourself with self-loathing your eyes see only the problems and dont notice positive changes. When I am feeling good about myself and my progress I can see the changes. The collar bone, the curves. When I am not, all I can see are my trouble zones. Which is why most of us rely on external metrics - scale or measuring tape. The eyes lie.

BREATHE. You mentioned you might be able to talk to a nutritionist or dietician, start there. If not there are some very knowledgeable people here. But know that it is not an overnight situation. Take pride in progress.

P.S. Given your current mindset, when you do replace the battery on your scale, weigh yourself once and then take the battery back out. You are not currently in a mind set that will tolerate normal weight fluctuation well. You need to work a plan for awhile and weigh infrequently. Honestly, I would suggest if you do find someone to talk to /help you with a plan, use their scale and dont even keep one in your home

Last edited by ennay; 01-16-2012 at 01:34 PM.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:31 PM   #4  
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It's a thought that I've had in the past, so I can understand. Really, though, there's no point in those kinds of thoughts. I try to push them away and say positive and encouraging things to myself. Sometimes, it helps to repeat those to yourself over and over until they finally sink in. You can say things like, "I'm doing the best I can and I will eventually get to my goal." or "I am doing the right things for my body so that I can live a long, healthy life, " or whatever you can think of that helps.

It sounds like you had a mom that was harsh so maybe that's why you are harsh with yourself? Feelings of shame and guilt can lead to destructive thoughts and behaviors. What if you thought of yourself as a child? Would you think that child was horrible? No, you'd probably want to help that child through love and kindness. Bullying doesn't help you anymore than it would help a child.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:32 PM   #5  
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No. Never. Don't get me wrong, I've had times when I had zero motivation, times when I didn't know if I could lose ALL the weight but I never once for one second believed that I was too far gone to not lose anything.

I know shows like Heavy and the Biggest Loser are not helpful for some because they show unrealistic weight loss. BUT they were always a huge help to me because I could see people much bigger than myself exercising and losing weight. I always knew not to expect those numbers at home (honestly, I lose somewhere between 2-4lbs/month, some months I don't lose anything at all!) but I could see first hand that it was always possible.

As for what's going on with you. Well, share your plan. We've all BTDT. I know I've tried a lot of diets that didn't work for me before settling on something that DID work.

Also, my guess? It sounds like your mom might have created some problems there with her comments. Those are extremely hurtful and are simply untrue. I don't know the whole back story there but understand that it's not normal for a mom to say those things.

ETA: Ok, I just glanced at your other post. It sounds like you really, really do need some outside help. 300 calories a day is starvation and in no way whatsoever sustainable. Please see a doctor+nutritionist+therapist. This is not about some mental will power to lose weight, but rather, it sounds like you have a lot of other issues, involved with your mom too that really need to be address professionally. I'm not trying to be harsh with you. Many, many people have these issues and that can be helped but the first step is making an appointment and seeing your doctors about them.

Last edited by runningfromfat; 01-16-2012 at 01:38 PM.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:41 PM   #6  
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My pants feel I little looser but not when I sit down however. I have cut out carbs fats and sugar. No red meats mainly chicken and fish. The Holidays killed me. I know I have to get over the hump. I will be going back to work tomarrow after being out because of a ankle injury. Being occupied will help . Have you ever laid in my imaging how you are going to look in say two months? I wish I would not do that. I have to get over this hump. LIke my Grandma used to say el tiempo pasará which in English means Time will pass
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Old 01-16-2012, 04:26 PM   #7  
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Nope, I never thought I was too far gone. How could I, when there was still breath in my body, a family who depended on me, and accountability to myself and God for how I managed my home and health? Giving up isn't an option, as long as I live I can try and succeed and continue to maintain. Nobody and no condition can defeat me if I don't let it. Some weights take longer to lose from, some health conditions create obstacles that require create workarounds, or necessitate new expectations of myself.

But too far gone or too heavy? Heck no! I'm no defeatist and I wasn't less valuable, beautiful, or important to those around me just because I used to weigh 270 pounds.

And look, here I stand multiple dress sizes smaller, with more energy, less allergies and immune issues, and several years of hard won and maintained losses to my credit. I am proud of it, and it wasn't even particularly hard. But it did require believing that I could do it and then committing to the action necessary.

Fatalism and depression has no place in my self talk and shouldn't exist in yours, either. How do either of those things help you improve or move you toward where you want to be? Nobody ever hated themselves heathly. Maybe they hated themselves thin, but whole mind and body health can only be achieved and kept if you focus on what you CAN do and why it is worth doing, not every reason your brain ever came up with as to why you'll never make it and shouldn't even try.

Sheesh, be nice to yourself, already!

Last edited by Arctic Mama; 01-16-2012 at 04:29 PM.
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Old 01-16-2012, 04:51 PM   #8  
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I understand what you're saying. While I don't know if I ever really felt that it was impossible to lose the weight, there were specific times when I felt that I didn't have it in me to do so (maybe just worn down). I have been known to throw in the towel. My guess is that is where you are right now, as opposed to thinking you really can't do it. You can lose the weight. I mean, it is physically possible for you to do so, you just need to set yourself on the right path.

Now, let's assume that you intellectually know you can do it. Find a life changing, lifestyle plan for yourself. Think "Where do I want to be next year." Because, honey, next year is going to come, whether you've lost the weight or not, so why not start the journey.

Your mother is wrong. Period, end of sentence. - And you know it, or you wouldn't be reaching out. Well, we're all here for you.

Do what the others have suggested. Talk to a professional and keep your eyes on the prize. YOU ARE WORTH IT!

I agree, that if the scale is holding you back, take the batteries out.
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Old 01-16-2012, 06:14 PM   #9  
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Yeah, I've totally been there. Especially since I've had some times in my life when I really tried hard and didn't even see a small budge in the scale. So I gave up. But now I've woken up at 36 wondering where my life went. In theory anyone can lose weight. It's a formula. But some better than others. I found out that I have medical issues that make weight loss difficult for me. But I'm hoping now that I'm on medication that it's not going to be as hard.

But in the end, I have to do this this time because there is no other option. I'm miserable the way that I am. So I either live the rest of my life miserably and unhealthy (which may not be that long the way that I'm going), or I do something about it. The fact that you've started means that there was some hope in you somewhere. You just need to find it and hold on to it really hard.

Good Luck!
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Old 01-16-2012, 08:51 PM   #10  
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Oh, I have felt that way for sure. It was morbid, really.

Have you ever heard the expression, "If you find yourself in a hole...stop digging"...? Well, it used to be, if I found myself in a hole, I'd dig faster...I might even holler up for a bigger shovel. I just went deeper and deeper until I could barely see the light. Well, one day, I was tired of it. I was in this f-ing big a$$ hole all by myself and I was alone and miserable and just about to suffocate. I asked for help...(from the Big Guy), and I was able to slowly but surely climb out. It didn't happen overnight. It took around 17 months to lose 190 pounds and it was freaking hard work. It took day after day after week after week after month of sticking to a very realistic and HEALTHY eating plan...but here I am today, 2.5 years later still within my goal range.

It can be done, but you have to want it in a way that's not going to make you fall back into a "6 foot" hole with a head stone.

Do it the right way, stop the crazy 300 calorie thing and get smart. There are a 100 different ways to do this right, starving yourself is not one of them.

Good luck.

Last edited by Lori Bell; 01-17-2012 at 05:23 PM.
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