Sucks. I haven't had someone say something mean about my size (to my face) in a super long time! I went out to shoot some hoops with a friend today, so we met at her place and walked to the courts. Some guy-who in all honesty looked homeless and smelled awful-was sitting next to the sidewalk while we went by. I was holding the basketball and chatting with my friend. As I went by he said "Yeah, you NEED to play some basketball...look at you, ****!"
Now, I know not to put much stock in mean things other people say, and I didn't bother saying anything because I didn't feel that it was even worth my time, so I just kept walking and ignored him. Don't think he liked that, because as we left him behind he yelled to get our attention again (I wanted to tell him he NEEDED a job and a shower, but I didn't feel like it was worth my time or effort to get into it with him), I'm not torn up about it per se, but a little annoyed. Especially since I've been feeling really good about my struggle recently, feeling like I've been making headway. I know he has no idea what he's talking about. But seriously, WTF??
Really? You're surprised that a (very likely) mentally unstable person said something crazy?
Put this in perspective by looking at the evidence: smelly, likely homeless, possibly (I'd suggest probably) mentally ill? Do you see any reason to take any stock at all in what a person like this has to say?
If he had accused you of being demon-spawn or the anti-christ, would you haven been bothered - or tempted to retaliate with an appropriate comeback? There is no appropriate comeback to insane ramblings. They're not worth giving a second thought (or a first one for that matter).
I've worked with mentally ill and mentally handicapped people, and I've been accused of being all sorts of strange things. In fact, that's what gave me the inspiration for viewing all "nasty comments" as crazy. Realizing that if someone called me something, it didn't make me that something (or make me care if I was).
I learned that you have to respect an opinion to be bothered by it. I didn't feel bad when a mental patient accused me of being the anti-christ because I was wearing a unicorn symbol (she informed me that a unicorn was the symbol for the anti-christ - the preacher on her television set told her so) so why should I care about the opinions of someone who is obviously a bit unstable (and isn't anyone who feels the need for such commentary, almost by definition a little unstable or at least not the brightest bulb in the box?)
I know what I'm saying sounds kind of strange - because we're really not taught to think that way about "fat" comments. We're taught that "fat" is such a terrible thing to be, that we must be horrified whenever the word is mentioned - even if it's by a homeless crazy dude or a child.
When you don't see "fat" as a crime, it stops being an effective weapon. Having someone "accuse" me of being fat, to me is accusing me of having blue or green eyes. Even if they mean it as an insult, and regardless of whether it's true or not, it just lacks the "power" of a good insult. In fact, it ends up rather humorous, either way.
A lot of people on the street have mental health issues. I once had a man growl in my toddler niece's face while she was in the stroller. Yeah I got all mother-bear on him and chased him away but he obviously was ill.
This may help put things in perspective, or just give you a laugh, but here is a story for you: My bf (who's a law student), was walking in a brown suit downtown by the courthouse one day. He is a 5'8'', 150lb dude in a brown suit, walking along, nothing particularly interesting. A man (who sounds quite similar to the man in your story) turns a dirty grin in my man's direction and yells, "Hey! You in the pants! I hope you die!"
In all fairness, the bf was indeed wearing pants, but nothing to die over. Crazy people shout crazy stuff. Be happy you aren't the crazy one. And the people here would just like to say, congrats on your continuing weight loss!
I get yelled, whistled, honked, laughed at, etc...on a regular basis while running in public and have my entire journey. Usually by teenagers and old men. I must look deaf or something because their rudeness always amazes me, they must know that I can hear?
Everyone is right. You shouldn't put any stock into what an unkempt, smelly dude has to say, especially one who yells at strangers. At best he's ill-mannered, and at worst he's mentally ill. Either way, he's not exactly passing out pearls of wisdom, just being socially unacceptable.
I think it's good that you didn't engage him. I don't think there's a good way to win. You'd either be riling up a crazy guy or getting into a yelling contest with a stupid one.
(Now I want to call everyone "You, in the pants!" but without the death threat.)
Seriously, calling someone "fat" who is clearly overweight is just pathetic. Its an insult used by people who don't have the brain capacity to learn better adjectives and insults. All I want to say is "no duh, i own a mirror". because this is clearly not new information to me.
Too bad we don't know when these crazy loons have a weapon or something like that, it would fun to give it back to them if we knew where we stood.
Once a creepy dude said something about my weight and my first thought was to say something like..."oh man, I'm sorry I'm offensive to you, I was just about to ask you if you wanted to have sex with me"... But instead I winked. lol It kind of threw him for a loop, I think he was expecting me to start crying or something.
I am sorry you were insulted. When I was in middle school, I thought it was funny to tease others...some wise teacher told me, "You know people only put others down because they have low self esteem and they want to make themselves feel better". It changed my whole way of thinking. I started complimenting others instead.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaplods
When you don't see "fat" as a crime, it stops being an effective weapon. Having someone "accuse" me of being fat, to me is accusing me of having blue or green eyes. Even if they mean it as an insult, and regardless of whether it's true or not, it just lacks the "power" of a good insult. In fact, it ends up rather humorous, either way.
Last year I was in an inner city elementary classroom and my cooperative teacher would handle kids coming to her with insults that had been thrown at them like this.
"He said your mom is a crack head? Is she?" If the child answers No. "So you know it is not true, what does it matter what they say." If the child answers yes. "The truth hurts sometimes. Your mom being a crack head does not change who you are though, and you are _____________." (fill in the blank with something truthful and positive about the child) The kids responded well to it, now when I am insulted I do the same thing.
The latest was completely silly...I was just starting up jogging again this summer and I had a water bottle that had a strap so it fit in the palm of my hand. Some guy yells out his window, "nice water bottle" I thought, yup sure is. If you could even manage the 6 mile run I am doing I am sure you would need one too.
homeless or not, to be fair, people of all social statuses say mean things. An overweight person can walk into an expensive store to browse around and be laughed at by the workers (who are working).
And let's face it, if the person really is homeless they may just be bitter and takes it out on people walking by. Don't sink to their level by throwing insults with things they may not be able to control (no job, or place to bathe) and remember how blessed you are to have a home, clean bed, shower, food and things those people most likely do not.
You did the right thing... One of my favorite quotes attributed to Mark Twain goes something like this "Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference." There are ALWAYS people out there who are unhappy, and they usually want to bring others down to their level.
Nasty remark today
