Just this week two things happened that made me feel terrible about myself:
First, I went to the grocery store to get dog food for my sisters dogs and as I was walking out of the store to my car, a car full of fit (but very unattractive) men drove up and said "Woof! Going home with dinner, fatty?!" and I flipped them off and said "At least I'm cute fat.. and when I lose it I'll still be cute, and polite, you ugly pieces of sh!t."
And then at my parents house, my fiance and I went over for dinner, and I told my dad that I was going to be him for Halloween, because he's adorable and awesome, and I told him I was going to steal a pair of his jeans to wear because I need the full dad-effect and my mom scoffs and says "Shannon, you can't fit into your dad's jeans! You're WAY too big!" that one really got to me and I decided it was time to go home.. especially since she had just been congratulating me on losing my first 5 lbs. She really doesn't have any place to talk about being fat, she's twice my size almost, but I have manners and I know not to say such things to people. Which is surprising, since my mom obviously didn't teach me good manners.
These things only got to me for a little while. I'm still proud of my progress so far (I think I've done well for only being on board for a week) and I am NOT going to let anyone derail me. My goal is to just keep losing the weight and next time I see my mom after I move, to look as confident and pretty as I feel.
People plain old suck. They just suck, suck, suck. That's why I could never be in customer service because I'd want to reach my hand across the counter or phone to wring their necks.
In any case, when I was in middle school, I think I was like 12 or 13, I actually had one of my friends, or I thought was my friend, say something terrible to me in front of the whole class.
He basically said, 'what does Tora say when they hand her a menu at a restaurant?'.
Then he said, 'yes'.
It was so hurtful not only because he did this in front of everyone but because I thought this person was my friend. I got so upset I started crying and left the room. Later, he apologized to me because he felt bad. I never forgave him and I stopped talking to him.
I got my revenge years later at my 10 year high school reunion though. I was probably at my peak fitness level so I was in really good shape. He totally didn't recognize me because I was so thin and hot. He tried to get a number and a date out of me. I couldn't even say yes or no, I just laughed and laughed and thought to myself, 'no way you balding loser'. Then I introduced myself and his jaw dropped.
I've heard it from one too many groups of guys in a club. (learned not to go there and put myself through that humiliation anymore.)
I've been barked obscenities while jogging with a friend, who up until that time thought I was exaggerating or being paranoid about this stuff happening. Of course the offenders were cowards in a car driving by.
The best was sitting in a lobby at a tanning salon...a freaking quiet waiting room filled with people.
I've tried not to let it get to me. It just breaks my heart to think that some people (who i know are worthless) find joy in hurting me.
I must have a look or aura that surrounds me that says "Don't f'n mess with me!" I have never had this happen nor would I stand for it. My personality is such that I will FLY off the handle if someone has the gall to say something so rude. So you think you're better than me because you're skinnier? Well I think I'm better than YOU because I'm not such an arrogant A-hole. I think that makes us pretty damn even in the cosmos!
The only time someone said one thing to me was 7th grade. I gained a lot of weight over the summer from depression, father issues and my parents divorce. This chick had been messing with me since the start of the school about everything. One day she said something about needing to do more wall jumps because I obviously needed it as I was such a fatty. I was physically restrained. I'm pretty sure the look in my eyes and on my face told her I was not someone to be messed with. I swear the next three years in the same school she never said another word to me.
Note: I really don't advocate violence but hey, I was 13!
XL- Generally people don't mess with me either, I hear I'm a little intimidating (even though I don't try to be..) but sometimes there's someone who HAS to say something and it usually catches me off guard, to be honest. I often want to fly off the handle at my mother when she's being rude, but I don't think it would change anything. She's always been that way and she always will be.. and if some "thugs" think they're so "gangsta" that I'm not going to say anything back to them, then they're very wrong.
Ugh! What arrogant *insert your favorite term here*! Like so many of us here, I've certainly been the victim of the random rude comment or drive by verbal assault. Why anyone thinks that it's even remotely okay to say such rude, nasty things to ANYONE is beyond me.
I should have my hubs read this thread...he really has an issue believing that this really happens - he just adores my fluffy self and figures that everyone else should too.
Sunshine- My guy doesn't believe it either.. he thinks that if it doesn't happen when he's with me that it doesn't happen at all! Haha! No one would mess with me with him around!! He's 6'2 and built like a fireman! Sometimes I want to be like "You know people are mean, why don't you believe me when I tell you people are mean to ME?!"
People are so horrible! But I have to share this with you - I work with drug addicted felons. So some of them are not always so nice. This week in court one who had violated the terms of the program and knows he's going to prison was being led out of court in cuffs and yelled that I was a "dumb *****" over his shoulder.
The immediate though in my head was that I'd lost enough weight that I am not called a "fat *****" any more, instead I am a "dumb *****". And guess what - it made me happy
You know what's funny too though? When the same people who moo at you also call you hottie on the same occasion :P it's happened... I mean, make up you're mind, I'm fat and yet you WANT me? oh yeah no that makes sense... Smh
it used to bother me, when some random person would call me that because i couldn't give them what they wanted (retail, fun)... but after a while i just blinked at them and said "thank you captain obvious" ... it really deflates them when they try to insult you and you don't show any reaction. when they'd react i'd just tell them "it's like you called me a blue-eyed brunette. i know what i am."... those people only have the power to hurt you if you give it to them. they aren't worth it!
I have a hard time taking anything yelled out of a car window seriously.
When is the last time you appreciated anything said from a moving vehicle? Be it compliment (Hey baby, you so sexy!) or insult...if you are saying it from a position that precludes me from responding, its as if you haven't said it.
I can at least have a little respect for someone who will (attempt to) insult me to my face. Because like k0nfyo0zed said...I know what size I am. I have eyes. I also have manners, which is what prevents me from announcing all sorts of things to strangers I encounter.
People really, really do suck. And when the comments come from people who are your "friends" make it even worse. What's nice is when your real friends then stick up for you and you have no idea that the whole thing even happened till said fake friend comes to you to complain. I have had that happen to me on more than one occasion.
And when they hide behind a stolen cell phone just to text you that you're fat. Come on. That had me laughing my fat butt all the way to the owner of the cell phone. He hung his head in shame that they weren't coming up with very good insults but were using his name. She * stupid coward * got frustrated when I wouldn't stop egging for more lol.
haha shanny... that's the best thing to do. i've been fat my whole life, so there's really nothing i haven't heard. so i ask them if that's the best they could do, and to try coming up with something original... and that i would be impressed instead of offended if they could give me an insult i hadn't heard a variation of before.
as for friends sticking up for you... that's the best. i was out grocery shopping with one of my good friends, who wanted to try to start losing some weight. and i was pointing out the pros and cons of different foods to her, and some random guy walked by and overheard the conversation and asked my friend "do you really wanna take diet advice from a fata**?" and i just laughed but she bristled and was all "damn right i do when she's lost 50 pounds!"... never seen someone get so mad on my behalf!
I can so relate to this. No one has said anything to my face, but I am on a few forums, and people who you have met or know for a long time who insult you to feel better about themselves are just big bullies. They gain power by making you feel small (esp. when they know you are sensitive). I let go of that forum because of the crap that they put me through. Men can be the biggest jerks on earth, but i agree with all of you that they only have the power when you give it to them. I'd rather just x them right out of my life because i don't need the negativity and if they can't like me for more than just my looks then I don't need them in my life.
I can be quite a biatch at times to ignorant males. I told them off unlike no other girl has ever told them. I said that someday I'd be even hotter than I am today and you will all eat your words. For anyone that says that sticks and stones don't hurt...I'd say they hurt if you let them, but they can certainly hurt for a long time.
I used to moderate a forum a few years ago and a member that I had tempbanned photoshopped my face onto a picture of a walrus. In sixth grade one boy lifted up my arm and started loudly counting my rolls. It sucks. I haven't gotten comments like that in a long time, though, thank goodness.
Last edited by shishkeberry; 10-01-2011 at 03:27 PM.
In sixth grade one boy lifted up my arm and started loudly counting my rolls. It sucks. I haven't gotten comments like that in a long time, though, thank goodness.
