I, too, am trying to stay away from "thinner is better" OR from "lighter is better". We do not "win" merely by weighing less.
My goals for now are to maintain the loss I have achieved (ie stay under 300 for the rest of my life), and to lose 5 more pounds-ish at a time. I am, admittedly, such a long way from a healthy weight range that picking an arbitrary number would just be silly (in my mind for me). Even if I were to pick a number, my body might not look how I'd like it to be at that weight. There's just no way to know right now.
This time, while I know that I do need to lose weight in order to get to the shape I want, I'm trying to think of shape/size/fitness as my ultimate goal and not exactly the number on the scale as goal. I could weigh 180 pounds and look drastically different depending on how I get to that weight. Muscular, lean, or still a bit flabby. Right now, there's no telling for me as it's more than 100lbs away.
I've never been to that site, but I just went browsing after writing that... WOW. Just wow, that is AMAZING. To see that so many women at a similar height can carry the same amount of weight in VASTLY different ways! I love it! And it confirms my thoughts... weight really can mean so many things to different people. Weight on the scale does not mean everything.
Body type, shape, fitness level, just ohmygoodness.... There are plenty of those women who look perfectly great at a lower body weight, but there are also just as many women who are looking amazing at a higher body weight!
This is amazing, and just what I needed to see. It confirms my beliefs even more that it cannot be just about the number on the scale for me. That my fitness goals are going to matter. That how I lose the weight is going to matter. And that I'll just have to decide as I go along where my body is comfortable.
ETA: This is also one reason that I set measurements as a goal for me too. If I reach a 28 inch waist or smaller I'd be pretty darn happy and probably call it at day even if I was still out of the healthy BMI range.
I really admire this way of thinking and I think I want to do this as well. I'm not sure what I want my ideal measurements to be, but in my mind my goal size is 4/6 (leaning toward 6). I think regardless of my weight, I might just stop there—unless I am not satisfied with how I look of course!
I've always admired women with a bit more meat on their bones, so this is the body type I've been leaning towards for myself
I just looked at that sight and I look nothing like women who weight 5 pounds less than me! It all varies so much.
I was having this same conversation with my hubby earlier about truly not knowing what a good goal weight is. I know what i used to look like at 133, but I'm already more sculpted now at 145 than I used to be at my lower weight. I could totally stand to lose more all-over-fluff, but as my body fat % lowers this time, I will be buff, as opposed to just small.
I really admire this way of thinking and I think I want to do this as well. I'm not sure what I want my ideal measurements to be, but in my mind my goal size is 4/6 (leaning toward 6). I think regardless of my weight, I might just stop there—unless I am not satisfied with how I look of course!
I've always admired women with a bit more meat on their bones, so this is the body type I've been leaning towards for myself
Thanks! The way I picked 28 inches is that when I was in high school I wore size 8 and was really happy with that. Unfortunately, I don't know my measurements from those days but going on the old size charts (granted even in the 90's I'm sure there was some vanity sizing compared to the 40'-50's when they were made) but according to that a size 8 is: Bust: 35, Waist: 27.5 Hips: 38.5. I'm pretty curvy so I'm not going to hold my breath on the bust/hip measurements but if I had a 28 inch waist or smaller I'd be pretty darn happy!
I am not even setting a final goal weight - it's one of those things where I am going to know it because I've arrived. I have an idea of where I'd like to get to in terms of clothing sizes, but absolutely no idea of what that would mean as far as the scale is concerned. And I suspect that my ideal body for myself is probably going to be a bit rounder than some (many?) people might want. But it's got to be not only something I feel and look (in my own opinion at least!) good at, it's got to be something I can happily maintain. So if 145 is that number for you, then go for it.
The great thing is that goals aren't set in stone and you can change it and make it lower or higher if that ends up not being the right number for you after all.
My issue with that site is that the way I look at a given weight is different than the other women my size, I'm one of those people who is a size or three smaller at a given weight that the girl next to me, for whatever reason, and when I look at that site I almost always want to move my goal lower to fit where I want my body to be, when I know logically that I'll look like I want at a higher weight than someone else might.
I just try to stay away from the comparison game, in general, and keep my goals focused on what I like seeing and how I like feeling, because as soon as I start comparing myself with others I get in trouble
Yes it's defnitely all about where you're comfortable! I sometimes feel like I should be thinner, which is kind of silly since obviously I'm in a healthy BMI...but I do think I am distorted in my thinking a little bit. It's kind of crazy really, I was 233 pounds a year ago, and all of a sudden I think 133 is just a bit too heavy. But your perspective changes too I guess as you lose...anyways I try to focus on how I feel and look, rather than the number.
I have had to force myself to keep it at around 130s. At 172, I HAD to lose weight, and I wanted to go to 140, then it was 130, and now at around 135, I am not pleased with my body, specifically my lower half. My shape I am unhappy with as big things and calves make me look heavier but I do like where I am in actual weight. If only I can align my comfort with my weight and my body shape..sigh
Wow! Take it from me, don't be too hard on yourself! I just joined tonight, have pretty much had no life for about a decade. My ideal weight I was really happy with was 120lbs but I always seemed to end up back at 135. Long story short- I was always considered beautiful and had more than my share of attention. Then discovered grapefruit sized cyst on ovary with endometriosis, was put on a drug which completely cut off my hormones to treat it, sent me into Major depression, and temporary induced menopause. I have never been the same since emotionally or physically but OH HOW I WISH I COULD HAVE THAT BODY I DISLIKED SO MUCH AGAIN....THIS TIME I WOULD APPRECIATE IT AND BE HAPPY WITH WHAT GOD GAVE ME!!!!
A big yes. Through my teens and 20s I weighed @ 150 and fought, fought, fought with my body and appetite trying to get smaller, usually with the result of "binging" up to 170. Now after carrying around an extra 100 lbs over that for 20 years, I positively strut that I'm holding below 170.
Of course I can't help but notice that despite the fact that I've basically maintained this weight for almost a year now that I've still set my goal below 150. Some habits die hard...
Last edited by caryesings; 08-03-2011 at 03:51 PM.
A big yes. Through my teens and 20s I weighed @ 150 and fought, fought, fought with my body and appetite trying to get smaller, usually with the result of "binging" up to 170. Now after carrying around an extra 100 lbs over that for 20 years, I positively strut that I'm holding below 170.
Of course I can't help but notice that despite the fact that I've basically maintained this weight for almost a year now that I've still set my goal below 150. Some habits die hard...
Isn't that the truth? I felt so fat and huge in college when I weighed 175-185. Now I'll be giddy to weigh that 'little'. Some of it, I think, is that it is more socially normal for women in their 40s to weigh a bit more. It doesn't look as out of place. That, and as we've become super sized, we are used to seeing a bit of pudge and find it pretty normal.
But really for me, I see how attractive I'm becoming. People used to tell me that when I was younger and thinner and I didn't believe them. Now I realize I've wasted the best years of my life as fat, unfit, and unhealthy looking. I'm seizing the last of my youth to strut my stuff too! (in a tasteful way, of course).
I think, as so many others have said, it's all a very individual journey. For me, thinner is better, because I run almost every day, and weighing less is so much easier on my joints. That's why I am so happy to have found an exercise I really enjoy doing. When my focus was all on food, I drove myself crazy trying to keep my calorie level just right so that I wouldn't gain. Now I can relax with my food intake and concentrate on health and diffferent numbers, other than the scale, such as resting heart rate, blood pressure, and race times.
The way I picked 28 inches is that when I was in high school I wore size 8 and was really happy with that. Unfortunately, I don't know my measurements from those days but going on the old size charts (granted even in the 90's I'm sure there was some vanity sizing compared to the 40'-50's when they were made) but according to that a size 8 is: Bust: 35, Waist: 27.5 Hips: 38.5. I'm pretty curvy so I'm not going to hold my breath on the bust/hip measurements but if I had a 28 inch waist or smaller I'd be pretty darn happy! 
