When I first googled "Weight loss support" 3FC was one of the first sites that popped up. I am sure many other people in my life have done the same, or similar search online and saw the same search results. 3FC is not a hidden website that it took me hours to find. I find it really, really hard to believe that no one I know in real life is actively using 3FC or at least reads it frequently.
Though I haven't posted my name or a picture on here, I have posted enough on here about my current situation to where many people who know me in real life could figure out who I am. I therefore do not post any information I wouldn't be mortified/upset for others IRL to find out. This includes personal relationship information, photos, intimate details about myself, etc.
If someone IRL were to figure out who I am I would be a little disappointed I lost some sort of anonymity, but I wouldn't be embarrassed because I have kept boundaries on 3FC. If you are as private as I am about weight loss, I'd be careful about posting pictures that show your face, easily identifiable clothing (a t-shirt you always wear), or a setting that is obviously your house. And I wouldn't post any information that would be devastating to you for others at work or in your social circles to find out.
Many people have no qualms about this, which is great. I do and it seems like you do too, which is why I'd suggest being careful. It's not being paranoid, it's being smart and realistic about how likely it is others have stumbled across this website.
After much thought, I've decided to wait and see if I can find a less identifying picture, with only me in it, that I can easily crop off my head. I can, if I want, take a recently picture without issue, but it might be a bit harder finding a before. I wish I had intentionally taken a before picture, but honestly, I hated taking my picture, for any purpose!
I agree, its all out or stay anonymous to some degree. This is an open site, and anyone can visit, lurking and getting info. In fact there are info 'bots that do just that. I try not to post things that can come back to me (not always successfully) if someone I know was here. So not a lot of personal details about work, or flames about loved ones etc. but we each have to make that decision about ourselves.
I have also recommended this site to some people, and for all I know, they hang out here too, and we are all anonymous to each other. And if they are helped by this site as I am, bless them and welcome.!
I chose not to be anonymous to some extent. My name irl is Heather. I have my face on every post. I've posted before and after pics as well, with my face.
But I also realize that anyone I know could be reading this site and some probably do, and thus choose carefully about what I post. I try to only talk about things that I think I would be okay with if my colleagues or students found out about. That's why I personally was okay with before and after pics. It's not like people didn't know I was obese...
In many respects, I figured that being anonymous is more difficult than you think. I've heard lots of stories of people who think they are anonymous but "out" themselves over little details that they share because they figure no one will ever guess who they are...
There's always a risk when you post on the internet, especially a place like this where we discuss information that makes us vulnerable. It's smart to think about how much you want to put out there, and everyone needs to come to their own conclusion about how anonymous they want to be.
I just wish more people thought about it in the first place... it seems like a fair number of people don't think twice about the details they post and then are surprised when they get burned.
I would like to keep my face out of pictures at least until I get to goal. It's not about random people seeing my face and knowing my weight, it's about people I know in real life being on here and seeing my weight. I also might post very personal feelings on here that I don't want those close to me to know. It's just not something I'm comfortable sharing. I mean, there are only like 3 major weight loss forums on the internet, somebody that I know, trying to lose weight is bound to wander on here, right?
I use a picture of my face on my avatar, but have taken my down before and after pics and my goal story.
I had a moderator hide my goal story (with pictures) when 3FC went for profit. Once those darn ads starting showing up all over the place I didn't want my "story" associated with the crazy diet plans that popped up when people viewed my thread. At the time I had her hide it, it had like 1000's of views...each time it was viewed people saw an ad for some wacko-o diet plan. I felt like my success at losing weight was profiting many products that I totally felt were unhealthy and even dangerous.
I took down my before and after pics in my signature after a member said she felt that before and after pictures reminded her of a circus side show act...lol
It's a shame that any of us feel the need to be anonymous with something that is so important to us & our health.
That said, I used to have a full body pic of myself as my avatar pic. Back the last time I hit happy weight... about 7 or 8 years ago. Since then, I've gotten much more body art, i.e. tattoos. So even if I "cropped my head" anyone who knows me would know me by my tats.
In a way I care and in a way I don't care. I've had friends remove pics of me on their FaceBook page because I couldn't stand the thought of old hi-school b*tches seeing me 50 pounds overweight. People who don't me...that really doesn't bother me at all. But people who knew me when I was much thinner? Oh yeah, that bothers me. So I simply don't risk that kind of embarrassment.
You can cover your face for sure if you feel uncomfortable with people knowing who you are. I wouldn't be embarrassed about losing weight but I do want to be anonymous sometimes if I say something bad about someone in my life on here and they see it. I understand that you are sensitive about your weight loss and weight. It hard because sometimes you don't want people to notice that you are overweight to begin with so trying to lose weight becomes embarrassing.
I debated about posting pictures, mostly because I would not want people IRL seeing my weight. However, like someone else said, it is not a secret that I was big ...... real big. It is kind of contradictory that I would never post my weight or weight loss pictures on Facebook. I now have contact with old friends who did not see me at my largest. Since this forum is for people who need to lose weight, I decided to post my picture here and just try to be careful to not give too much personal information.
Quote:
Lori Bell originally postedI use a picture of my face on my avatar, but have taken my down before and after pics and my goal story.
I had a moderator hide my goal story (with pictures) when 3FC went for profit. Once those darn ads starting showing up all over the place I didn't want my "story" associated with the crazy diet plans that popped up when people viewed my thread. At the time I had her hide it, it had like 1000's of views...each time it was viewed people saw an ad for some wacko-o diet plan. I felt like my success at losing weight was profiting many products that I totally felt were unhealthy and even dangerous.
I took down my before and after pics in my signature after a member said she felt that before and after pictures reminded her of a circus side show act...lol
I understand why Lori removed her goal story and pictures. I hate those ads for the crazy diet plans too. It is a shame, though. While 3FC has helped me in many ways, the single largest way is by showing me that it is possible to lose weight, even large amounts of weight. Lori's goal story and pictures were a real source of inspiration to me. I thought many times, "Lori did it and I can too."
Lori, before and after pictures may remind some people of a circus side show act but for some of us, before and after pictures show that real weight loss is possible.
I remain anonymous on many sites, but I don't think this should be one of them. I'm not ashamed of my weightloss and certainly don't mind someone knowing about it from real life, so anonymity is beside the point. I don't reveal certain details, but nothing I say online is something I wouldn't say to any acquaintance in real life, so censoring or blotting myself out is unnecessary.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with someone else feeling a need for privacy, though! But for all the things I am private with, my weight couldn't be one of them. EVERYONE could see I was fat, and that I'm not, anymore
Last edited by Arctic Mama; 05-24-2011 at 02:06 PM.
My avatar used to be a photo of my husband and I. I switched it to a similar pic (except for the green skin, it's fairly accurate).
I didn't change it out of concern that anyone would recognize me and discover my real weight or starting weight, heck I'm so open about that I'll tell just about anyone who asks, even if they're trying to do it to make me uncomfortable (I like showing them I'm not).
If someone says "you don't look that fat," or "you don't look like you weigh x lbs," I say "yes I do - this is what x lbs looks like. I'm not more or less fat now that you know the number."
I took my pic down for a different reason. I'm a gut spiller. Everyone close to me knows it. Don't tell me a secret, I'll probably forget I was supposed to keep it (I have short term memory issues, so I've literally told family members this - don't tell me anything you need to keep secret, I can't promise to keep it that way.)
I'm pretty much an open book, and with my own information, I'm ok with that. I'm not worried about outing myself, but when I vent about my crazy family members, I'd hate to have one of their friends read it and know who I was talking about.
I'm not risk-free because anyone really close to the family would recognize some of the situations, but they'd almost have to be cyber-stalking me for the details to add up. I'm comfortable with that risk, because I do try not to write anything that could come back to haunt me in a way I wouldn't be prepared for.
Still anonymity has it's benefits. Even if it's the illusion of anonymity. I can admit my screw-ups a lot easier to people I don't have to face every day.
I've recommended 3FC to so many friends, family, former co-workers, acquaintances, and strangers that some of them are bound to be here. They've probably even figured out who I am (many of them know that kaplods was my father's pet name for me, and I have used my real first name and that of my husband in many posts). It wouldn't take a genius to figure out who I am IRL. If I were a super hero, my secret identity would be blown in less than a week.
I know it's an illusion, and (that open book thing again) I'm not really concerned with anyone discovering my secret identity. I see anonymity more as a convenience than a necessity (because everyone who knows me, also knows I'm an open book, and has probably heard it from my mouth long before they see it in print).
People who don't me...that really doesn't bother me at all. But people who knew me when I was much thinner? Oh yeah, that bothers me. 
So I simply don't risk that kind of embarrassment. 
