I agree with Beach Patrol. I've been criticised for joking about my weight, but I don't see it as any different than anyone joking about their personal attributes or quirks. I DON'T equate fat with with lazy, crazy, or stupid. I don't equate fat with ugliness or even with an obligation to change. I've also used the word fat*** (butt) to refer to my large posterior. I don't use it to bash myself, because I don't see fat as anything deserving of any type of bashing.
My a** IS fat. So are my fingers, my arms, my legs, my feet, my stomach. My head ironically isn't (and I don't just mean that literally). My mom always wanted me in hairstyles that were short, close to the head because it made my face look thinner. I hated it even then, because it made me look like a pinhead (no offense meant to actual pinheads). Full hair gave my face a more proportional look, so as soon as I was fully responsible for my own hair, I wore it in fuller styles, because I hated looking like a football player or like I had a shrunken head.
Being fat can be miserable, but there are funny aspects of it. Self-deprecating humor really only works if you've got real confidence. I can make fun of all or any of my imperfections because I know how truly fabulous I am.
Everyone has an a** and mine just happens to be fat, so I have absolutely no problem with making reference to the actual size of my a** and where said fata** won't fit.
I actually have used the words fat in reference to other people and their fat body parts, (though only with those like myself who don't see it as an insult).
I wouldn't use it as an insult (because it should have no power to insult) and I don't use it with anyone who doesn't KNOW and BELIEVE that it doesn't have to be an insult.
The only way fat will ever become a neutral word is for people to use it neutrally and stop using it as an insult. I use the word as I believe it should be used as often as I can, and explain my reasoning when I do.
Not everyone agrees with me, and people will vote their beliefs with the words they choose to use. I just hope fluffy never becomes the word of choice. It makes me think I need to put some of my hair in a bow or barrette at the top of my head, like a long-haired lap dog.
I tend to use the word "thick" when I am trying to be nice about it.
I know I am fat as well. People get mad at me for "thinking like that" but you know what, it isn't good to be barely 5'3" and 165lbs! I am not one for the BMI chart, but my body fat is around 30% (I think? It was 36%) When I did this thing that told me how much fat I had on my body at 177lbs, I had over 40lbs of fat on my body. That is NOT good! I know we need fat, but not 30% of it.
I get referred to as "thick" so often. I guess in todays world that, for the most part, is suppose to be considered a compliment.....I'm not so sure I take it as one. Sure it is better than being called fat I guess. To be honest it's just sugar coating it though. I have been caught referring to myself as "thick" though in moments of not wanting to just be like "yeh, I'm fat" O.O
My boyfriend, being my best friend as well, has to put up with alot of my "i'm fat" conversations. He is a good sport though, and just wants me to be happy, but reassures me he loves me no matter what. Which is really the best thing they can do. There isn't really a "right answer/reply" is there? Just the wrong ones
I like the word "thick" a lot. It's more accurate than "heavy" or "big-boned," it's not twee like "fluffy" or "chubby," and it's not emotionally loaded like "fat" is for many people. If anything, "thick" has positive connotations.
Meh, everyone has their own ways of dealing with their size/fat/whatever. I'm with Beach Patrol...I'd rather joke about it and lighten the mood, even if it makes other people uncomfortable.
My favorite quote of all time, from Moon Unit Zappa: "I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad."
I think of that on those dark days when I'm trying to shove my corn-fed American body into size "XL" shorts at a clothes store here in Japan and they won't go over my hipbones.
Interesting - if you used the word "thick" over here, everyone would assume you meant "stupid". I think the etymology is that your skull is so thick your brain is tiny, or something like that.
When you're shopping with a friend and they can't find clothes that are small enough, and you can't find clothes that are big enough, to have them say "you're not fat, we're just different shapes!" is really frustrating. It's actually a huge motivator, as the fattest person in my friend group. I want to be able to go shopping with my friends and not feel like the elephant or the one who needs to be consoled with obvious untruths.
I can be quite hard on myself and my room mate gets really mad when I say mean thing about myself. She says If its something I wouldn't say about a friend then I shouldn't say it about myself. Recently, after me saying 'I'm fat' yet again, she said to me 'you're not fat - you have fat, but YOU are not fat'. We talked about how our size doesn't determine who we are, it's just something we need to work on.
And just like when disciplining a child you should never call them a bad kid (their behavior may be bad, but THEY are not bad), YOU are NOT fat!
If someone else refers to themselves as fat to me, I usually just say "oh shut up!" or "oh, stop it!" in a joking way.
I will joke about myself being fat too (not out of the blue, just if it happens to fit in the conversation, like if we're talking about clothes or something) - to be honest, I think it's kind of a defense mechanism for me. It's like in my head, I think that if *I* joke about it, then no one else will or something. And I'm letting them know that I know I'm fat. I'm a little messed up I guess.
My friend is guilty of this to but I know it is because she feels that is what he is supposed to say to me. My friend will tell me its "okay" to eat something bad because I look super hot! I love her to death but sometimes I would like her to just say "No, you don't need it".
I think we all read way too much into things sometimes. If I am making a comment about myself, I feel it's perfectly OK to refer to my fat @$$. I just posted something on FB about the outfit I bought for my DD's wedding and said it was up for grabs if anyone wanted to borrow it after I wore it - if they had feet big enough to fit my size 10 shoes. I don't see that as an insult - I have big feet! (And I mean no offense to anyone who wears size 10 or bigger.) We can't change that. I think, because we can change what we weigh, we try to be a little less direct in how we speak about weight for fear of hurting feelings or appearing politically incorrect.
No one gets upset if we complain about curly hair, for example. In fact, probably half the people you complain to would trade hair with you in a heartbeat. No one cares if we complain about a light or dark complexion - or the ability or inability to get a little tan in the summer. Again - half the people you talk to would trade places. I tan easily. I try to avoid too much exposure to the sun for health reasons. When I complain that I have to keep sunscreen (SPF30) in the car just so I can drive with the window down and not get a deep tan on my left arm, people think I'm nuts. But they aren't uncomfortable. I can't change that if I wanted to. But if I were to call myself fat, they'd feel uncomfortable and try to cover their feelings by telling me I'm not. If I say I can't fit my fat @$$ into a specific pair of jeans, most would laugh with me, seeing it as a statement of fact and not as a put-down.
Even in the entire 3fc forum, no one ever says "fat." We're all here for the same reason. And we still don't say the "f" word in front of each other. It's too sensitive for many people, I think, because we see it as something we can and should change. Unlike hair color or the size of our feet.
