[Dusti]

Originally Posted by niafabo

I'll be honest I've been fat since puberty and I do not like the attention at all. Like I really want to like it and to feel pretty but I just don't. I want to like how I look but I only want the person I like/love to like my appearence and everyone else to take a hike. I think losing weight has made me more anti-social. XD

Yep, that's me too. I feel more anti-social too, mainly because I don't trust my reactions to people. I still feel my defensive attitude is always on guard. To make it worse, I had a guy at work hit on me recently and he knows I'm married. What do people think, just because your losing weight your out to find someone new? Please! I'm doing this for myself and no one else.

[berryblondeboys]

And I don't quite get why I became uncomfortable with my body and with 'sex' as a teen. I remember I was talking to a therapist about it when I was in college and he said, "what do you find attractive about men?" and I said, "Their smile, their shoulders." And then he asked, "Well, what about their butts?" I was like, "Oh gosh no... I don't look at their butts!" And he asked, "Well, what do you think about a guy checking out your butt?" And I about went into a panic attack!

Yet, when I met my yet to be husband, I instantly felt comfortable with him and attracted to him adn wanted him to be attracted to me. He helped me A LOT to ease up on my prudishness. And yes, I notice people's sexualness now. Not for wanting to act on anything, but I'll notice people now as sexual beings where before everyone was so asexual in my eyes.

I still get uncomfortable buying contraceptives at the store, but it's more because I think the young things behind the counter can't believe that a middle aged fat woman still "gets it on". I do think that in many ways, my excess weight started out as a shield. Later it became more than that - laziness, self-loathing, sleep deprived eating and so on. But, I've worked so much on my inner demons that for years and years now I've said to myself and my husband that I feel the only thing left from the 'pain' of growing up is my weight. It's like this baggage from not feeling good about being me and I need to get rid of it to finally free myself from it.

[maydaymayday911]

I don't know if I get to post here, as I've only lost 20 pounds from my top weight last year (but have about 20 more to lose), but I am rolling in the attention. I don't care if it's petty or shallow, and I have a boyfriend so I'm not taking anyone up... but when a guy starts to give me the once over, my brain only thinks one thing: You know that's right!

I've been 20 pounds skinnier and had a terrible, awful body image. Sometimes I think it's easier to drop the pounds on the scale than it is to come to terms with what we see in the mirror. There's science behind weight loss. It's the confidence, comfort with our bodies and our sexualities, that is a real challenge we all face.

[Linsy]

Originally Posted by saef

I like it, because I like having more power in this world. Attractive woman have power of a kind that I rarely was able to grasp at, when I was 100 pounds heavier.

Also, I like that it opens up some fun in the form of playing: Playing dress-up. Playing with hair & make-up. Trying on different styles, different versions of me. Am I tailored? Romantic? Avant garde? Traditional? I'm my own Barbie doll. That's kind of fun. When I was fat & plainer-looking, I didn't bother. I was kind of censorious & puritanical about women who cared too much for their appearance. Sneering a lot about inner beauty being the only kind that counted. Huh. Well, maybe for some things. But in a lot of the things in this life, a little outer beauty most definitely helps.

I can't wait to do this. I've always been so jealous of stylish girls...not the ones decked out in american eagle and abercrombie (although I do like jeans and hoodies from there) but ones who can pull off long coats, knee-high boots, look hot but also professional at the same time...I would look like a sausage wearing clothes like those now! I went to a store with my mom a few weeks ago and I fell in LOVEEEE with the short poofy skirts and layered shirts and jewelry. I'm longing for the day when I can go into any store I want and see something and be able to wear THAT while looking great instead of feeling frumpy in my Lane Bryant jeans and plain black cardigan.