I had one "fat" phase in my childhood. It was 10th grade, and I would come home and eat after school snacks in abundance like I always had. I had just started my period, was done growing upwards, and my metabolism must have taken a dive. Nobody said anything to me. Then I went to the Dr. and seen the scale was in the 160s, and it was just changing to spring time and none of my clothes from the previous season fit. Well....that was that. I stopped eating so much crap and easily dropped the weight without even really thinking about it (Wish it could be that easy now!), then my friends became worried that I was anorexic. Always something with girls and weight!!!!
I have three boys, all are a healthy weight, but my oldest has a rounded belly that he is absolutely not fond of. When he mentions it, I simply suggest that if he doesn't like it perhaps he shouldn't eat that nightly bowl of icecream or chips. He says, "I know", then eats them anyway. He IS a healthy weight, just a lot of kids his age (12) are shooting up and getting lanky. His brothers will scarf down a box of valentines chocolate and are thin;he makes his last a month and HE gets the rounded belly.
Anyway, I find that when I am eating healthier, my kids absolutely eat healthier. I don't talk about my diet/weight loss with anyone other than my best friend, and that includes my kids. So they don't hear me say "I am fat." "I need to lose weight." Etc. We have snack foods in the house, chips, icecream, cookies, but there is also a big bowl of strawberries in the fridge. At this time of year, I might not have bought them if I weren't eating healthier, but since I am, and they are there, readily available, ready to eat, they will happily eat them for an after school snack over the other stuff. Lead by example, offer healthy foods, and very importantly don't degrade your own self. ALSO, be aware before you have kids, that you WILL be sharing your popcorn and anything else you eat! LOL I am willing to share anything I eat, my thought is better the calories go to their skinny butts than mine, BUT my chocolate is like your popcorn. You don't eat mom's chocolate. LOL
I'm not really sure...I was a typical kid and didn't like veggies, I wanted the food I saw on commercials during Saturday morning cartoons and ramen noodles. I don't think my parents knew much about dieting, and I didn't know at the time what or how much I should eat. They usually gave me what I wanted, but they also ate out alot and alot of fast food, home meals were often pasta, or meat and potatoes and some veggies. Sometimes they had salads or other vegetables around but I refused them cause I thought they were yucky.
At one point my mom did put me on a diet, but I don't think it was really healthy... I remember even taking dexatrim... and my parents still ate fast food and stuff around the house and I felt bad I couldn't eat it too. My mom did buy me a few exercise videos back then and made me do them after school.. so I guess that set off one good habit that I still follow today. When I lost a good amount of weight they let me go back to my old way of eating and a gained a little bit back.
I'm not sure what they really could of done differently.. Should they have been the type of parents to force veggies on the kid? Changed their way of eating and made healthier meals for my sake? I don't know.. I remember when I wanted something I would keep bugging for it or start crying so they just gave me what I wanted to make me happy. When I have kids I'll face the same dilemma.. do I give my kids what they want to make them happy or look like the mean parent not giving them candy, chips and making them eat fruits and vegetables instead.
God bless her, but my mom did everything "right" for me. At least according to what they knew at the time.
She bought those god-awful Ayds weight-loss candies
She tried new foods, even ones Dad couldn't stand
She lowered the fat in our food
She increased our veggies
She even joined the Food Co-op, where you had to work four hours every month to be a member, because it was the only place in our town we could buy raw almonds and whole-wheat pasta and brown rice. I remember working alongside her on Saturdays weighing and bagging nuts and dried fruits and cheeses and marking them for sale.
She learned to cook almonds and whole-wheat pasta and brown rice
She bought boxes full of sugar-free gum, and filled the cookie jar with them so I could have a "sweet" option.
She encouraged me to go for walks and bike rides without pushing (too much... I'm sure I thought she nagged at the time, but in retrospect it doesn't seem too much)
She served salads with every meal, and bought low-sugar cereals and skim milk
She experimented with low-fat muffins and quick breads using whole wheat flour (very dense and dry... the options are SO much better now for flours!)
But I can remember taking a loaf of bread into the front closet when I was probably 8 or 10, hiding among the coats, and stuffing my face as quickly as I could with as much bread as I could eat. I can still remember the closet-y smell. I'd spread butter on saltines. And later, when I was coming home after school to an empty house, I'd make these terrible pasta concoctions with butter, cream cheese, peanut butter, whatever we had. Just to get more carbs. I learned how to eat starchy staples that we had on hand because she'd never buy "treats."
When I was in high school I went to a counselor for depressive issues, and she also talked to me about food. She diagnosed me as "hypoglycemic" (which is why we got into the whole foods thing WAY before it became popular).
But they didn't know enough. Even on a low-fat, whole-grain and protein-rich diet, I was hungry all the time. I craved starches, and I found them wherever I could get them.
In my early 30s, when we were struggling to conceive, I was diagnosed with PCOS and Insulin Resistance. I read about the "new" low-carb ideas, but it sounded so much like the high school regimen (protein every four hours, nuts and eggs and meat, and if you're going to have grain make it whole grain) that I figured it wouldn't work for me. I tried Pritikin instead. Then went 180 degrees to try Protein Power. But didn't try the latter long enough.
It wasn't until I was dx with Pre-Diabetes last year, at 47, and I started researching again, that I realized how much more information there was out there (or at least available) about low-carb and insulin resistance and PCOS and thus... pre-Diabetes.
My Mom tried her absolute best with what she knew. Low-fat, lots of veggies, whole grains. But to curb my ravening hunger for starches the only thing that has worked is almost diametrically opposed to what she and everyone else thought was "healthy" in the 70's, 80's, and 90's -- lower-carb, lots of veggies, moderate protein, fairly high fat.
It's the only thing that curbs my cravings and keeps my blood sugar level.
I wish I didn't know that my mom was dieting. It made me very conscious of "diets" and I put myself on one at six years old...I wasn't even chubby. That led to starvation by 11 that I still deal with to this day.
I've had to learn to be more lax with foods that my 3 year old daughter likes to eat. Her father and my parents often feed her things that I would not, but it's okay. Part of my healing is learning that there is no "bad" vs "good" and to stop the black/white thinking. She knows what the word healthy means, and knows that we try to aim for healthy foods (much like the kids tv shows teach).
I know she likes spaghetti o's (dad's house) so I made my own spaghetti-o's sauce with canned salt free sauce, Romano, and a little bit of sugar. She likes mini meatballs that come in those spaghetti-o cans. I made tiny turkey and shredded zucchini meatballs that I froze so she can eat them more readily. I buy turkey hot dogs and make my own vegetarian baked beans, homemade macaroni and cheese, mac and cheese purchased with whole wheat elbows and with a bit of Greek yogurt for protein, and homemade chicken nuggets. I purchase healthier snack foods. She loves Pirate's Booty (organic puffed cheese snacks), I stick with 100% juice boxes, she eats natural applesauce and natural sugar free/salt free peanut butter, naturally low sugar/high fiber jam, high fiber bread, popcorn, fruit, Greek yogurt, her favorite cereal is Special K with red berries, she loves broccoli, raw cauliflower, hummus, cheese, cherry tomatoes, and even veggie burgers.
I expose her to a lot of different foods that are delicious and healthy, and she doesn't seem deprived. It's just normal food to her because it's always around.
My parents significantly contributed to my weight issues if not straight up caused them. My parents divorced when I was a baby but they both taught me extremely unhealthy habits. All of the people in my mum's side of the family are a healthy weight but all of her kids have weight issues. She doesn't know how to cook so growing up she bought us tons of fast food, pizza, and frozen dinners and lots of junk food to snack on. We were encouraged to eat a lot and told it was good to have a "very healthy appetite". When I began to struggle with my weight she told me that I was being silly and I was just perfectly fine and that I shouldn't let it affect my selfesteem and that anyone who said I had a problem was just shallow and stupid.
my father in many ways had an addiction to food. he loved it. he would eat huge portions at every meal, go out to resteraunts and buffets almost daily, binge on sweets whenever he was feeling down, and snack constantly. as a result he went from a slim man in his twenties to a nearly 400 lb man in his 40s. i remember when i was little i would beat if i didn't finish all the food on my plate and i would get praised and offered seconds if i finished everything. when we went to a pizza buffet the daughter who ate the most pizza the fastest would win money and if someone didn't eat much they were told that they had wasted my dad's money. when i started getting fat my father told me it was a good thing. he said that people are suppose to be fat and it would keep me alive if i ever got horribly sick or got stranded on a desert island and all the skinny people would die. when you're little you believe your parents.
i'm helping to raise my niece and i refuse to let her eat much junk or candy. her idea of a snack isn't oreo cookies and milk. it's almonds and bananas. her idea of dinner isn't a box of frozen lasagna it's a balanced meal of protein, vegetables, fruit, carbohydrates and dairy. surprise surprise no signs of weight issues what so ever.
i think a lot of people try and blame child obesity on the child but frankly unless there is some sort of health related problem that causes it, i honestly believe it is the fault of the parent. children don't know what they are doing they need an adult to them and teach them the proper way of handling things.
My mom's attitude toward dieting is very all-or-nothing. If you are being "good", it's time for dry toast and sf/ff yogurt and salads and canned stewed tomatoes. If you are being "bad", eat grilled cheese, bowl after bowl of cereal, ice cream, cookies and start fresh tomorrow. Very much "it's not worth doing if you aren't doing it right" , which in my mind turned into "screw up once and wheeee! free for all binge all weekend", which encouraged me to screw up.
My mom is the toughest person I know. She never does anything the easy way: when the going gets tough, she gets tougher. Took me a long time to figure out that the secret was not being tougher, it was finding an easier way.
But she never, ever made me feel as if her love was dependent upon my weight. If she had (like her mom did), I probably wouldn't have ever gotten so fat, but I'd be much more miserable and unhappy of a person. So I am glad she didn't.
I was an overweight kid. I wish my parents were more educated on the subjects of health and wellness. I wish many things could have been done differently. I wish we had done more active activities as a family. I wish we didn't have nearly as much junk in the house as we did. I wish my parents didnt push the whole "clean your plate or no dessert" mentality. Honestly, the list can go on and on.
As a parent, I feel the most important thing I can do for my son is to live by example. We talk about calories. We talk about why McDonald's isn't good for you if you eat it all the time. I allow him to have sweets and he gets dessert if he finishes his veggies at supper. The food choices in my house are very different than they were when I was growing up. The desserts we have are a wide range of things for us: 90 cal granola bar, 100 cal snack bag, 100 cal serving of mini marshmallows, 70 cal go-gurt. I have healthier options for my son so that if he wants dessert, I don't feel guilty. I also allow him to have fast food and full-on sweet treats but those things are few and far between. They are regarded as special occassions and treated that way. Honestly, he gets plenty of junk-ish things at his friends house or my parents house, or around the holidays at school. I feel ok if I don't have that stuff in my house because he can get it from many other sources. I also try to keep my son as active as I can from the after school program he is in to the things we do on the weekends. I have never and will never put him on a scale or say anything deragatory about his weight. It ruined me as a child, and I don't want him to have those feelings of inadequacy like I did.
I guess it all boils down to learning from your parents and tweaking things a little to make them your own.
Thanks again for the great thread!
could NOT have said it better Vix.
I wish my parents had been more educated on healthy food and portion control.
I wish it was a family affair to be healthy, and not feel singled out when my pediatrician had my mother put me and me only on a 'diet' at 10.
I dont blame my parents for anything, they can't teach me what they dont know, but I have recognized that it was lacking in my childhood and have vowed to change that in regards to my own child.
He has only known healthy food, save for the trips to mcdonalds with grandma (though happy to say Jack doesnt actually like mcdonalds food, he ends up eating something at home when they go there)
He is too young to ever remember mom being 248 pounds, but I wont hide pictures from him when he is older, I will tell him I wanted to change my life to be a healthy, happy mom he deserves and I'll make it the norm for him to know healthy foods, healthy choices and plenty of activities.
I wish my mother and her side of the family passed on different genes.
My father was very tall and very thin. My mother was barely 5 foot tall and weighed 450 lbs most of her adult life. Her brothers were also overweight
My two brothers, now deceased were over 6 foot tall and thin. Guess who's genes I got? Yep, my mother's. I have been 5 foot 6 and 360 lbs much of my adult life.
My two adult grandsons? One is tall and thin with what seems to be the metabolism of a hummingbird If he does not constantly eat he would starve to death. My other grandson tall and 500 lbs. Must have a mixed up set of genes there.
Weight loss or weight gain is a simple equation of calories eaten versus calories expended but some of us seem to have inherited vastly different basic metabolism rates.
If I want to be healthy and I do! It is no use complaining I will just have to play the cards I was dealt.
I wish my mother hadn't had such a skewed view of what I looked like. I was told my whole childhood that I was fat. Too fat for that dress, too fat for this top. I see pictures now of me as a child, guess what? I look like every other healthy kid in the photo, I had chubby cheeks -but the rest of me..total normal looking. I've spent my entire life thinking I was the fattest person in the room, wooo -now she's right I AM the fattest person in the room.
Despite her viewing me as grossly overweight, she was a proud enforcer of the clean plate club. I remember sitting for hours in front of congealing food, trying to gag it down so that I could leave the table. There wasn't a lot of money, due to a father who preferred drinking the paycheck away to supporting the family. The food options were very cheap, high in carbs & fat (beans, fried potatoes, etc). We did have summer vegetables when we were living in a situation that allowed for a garden. As far as sports went, I being a girl, wasn't allowed to participate in sports, that was reserved for my brother.
With my own children, I offered healthy snacks, whole foods & encouraged physical activities. Both of my daughters are slender, healthy & very active women. They've turned the tables & now are my biggest supporters in my quest for better health. It also helps that my husband enjoys healthy, whole foods as well.
I don't think there was a thing that anyone in my family could have done "better" than they did, given the prevailing state of knowledge about weight loss at the time.
My mom bought non-fat stuff for my dad and me (the two "stocky" people in the house), although anything that was too vile (non-fat mayo, bleurgh!), she didn't try again. It wasn't her fault, that was just What Was Done then. Same thing for all the home-cooked meals she made--skimpy on fat, heavy on carbs.
But the thing I loved most is that I was never made to feel ugly or unappealing or outside of the norm because of my weight. Maybe that allowed me to get too comfortable, I don't know, but I don't think so. Whenever I did express an interest in weight loss, my mom dutifully cooked according to my plan and bought the shakes/Ayds candies/whatevers that I agitated for.
She tried to shoo me out of the house to go play, but instead of playing, I climbed a tree and hid so I could read a book uninterrupted. It's not her fault I'm a natural butt-sitter.
Even my older sister was nothing but kind and helpful. I remember going with her to the Gloria Marshall salon when I was eleven and pudgy; she was an athletic, but short size 2 who never had a "fat day" in her life, yet she acknowledged our weight differential without ever implying that there was a prettiness differential between us (and there was--she was far prettier, bless her heart for not believing it was so).
Everything was pretty Norman Rockwell until I was twelve, so there really wasn't anything my family could've done better. I don't know if any of this is helpful to you, but it makes me realize just how fortunate I was and just how difficult it must be for parents to walk that line between supporting your child and helping her become healthier.
i wasn't a fat kid. me and my sisters were like a 3 pack. 1 in each size. youngest-tiny ballerina type, middle-over weight, and me pretty normal sized. looking back at the pictures of us, there's so little difference between me and my middle sister. we're practically the same age. ate almost the same foods. i wish i could have helped her, and wish i could now. but i can't.
we lived on a high fat and carbs diet of potatoes and bread w/butter practically every night. we had meat most nights too, but it wasn't what's for dinner? it was we're peeling potatoes and having something with it. that was at our grandparents. at mom's we ate mostly hamburger helper or lipton noodle packets most nights. lots of canned green beans and other canned veggies. mostly green beans.
in both homes i really hated how it made cooking so boring. we asked often for other things for dinner, but until we learned to cook ourselves, we didn't have much say in the matter.
we both learned how to cook from the beginning always helping in the kitchen, but as teenagers we often made dinner before our mom came home. i wish we had learned then how to make things have flavor without lots of fat. everything is saute in oil and then...instead of using chicken stock or herbs.
i make a big effort to always get lots of produce. the kids see me eating it all the time, snacks and at meals. we have a rabbit, they love trying to see what the rabbit will like. then trying it themselves. veggies don't all have to be boring and from a can. i almost never buy anything in a can. it just has no texture or flavor. frozen or fresh.
i try to mix it up once in awhile. i try new things. make curry, dumplings, different seasonings, throw random stuff together when we're low on groceries. i don't want my kids to feel we always had the same boring stuff for dinner.
i wish exercise had been a reg part of our day as kids. we had a lot of chores at our grandparents with a garden, hanging out clothes to dry, and in the country. not as much with our mom in the city. but our mom w/o at the gym, at home she was so tired all the time. i wish we had at least taken walks after dinner, or exercised reg. together each weekend. instead we usually just watched a movie.
so with our kids. we do exercises with them sometimes. talk about exercising, getting stronger, eating healthy foods for more energy to run and play, encourage it to be fun.
I wish they would have known more about healthy nutrition. I don't blame them but it certainly didn't help matters much.
There was never a healthy balanced meal cooked in my house. Being raised in the south pork fat was in nearly everything we ate. We couldn't just eat vegetables from the awesome garden we had, we had to put pork fat in those healthy veggies. Yes it's pretty dog gone tasty but horrible for the body. We ate fish but it was always fried. We ate a LOT of red meat & pork. If we had chicken it was slathered in thick bbq sauce or doused in batter & fried. My dad used to take the extra fat & skin off the chicken and cook it for an appetizer. I was brought up thinking this was good healthy eatin'! They still eat this way btw & they have a plethora of health problems related to it.
I didn't really know it was unhealthy until I became an adult. I thin it was Maya Angelou that said "When you know better you'll do better", so when I finally knew better I started cooking better. We always eat healthy meals at home. I never keep junk in the house. You wonder how I got to be so fat? Well, I eat healthy at home but I go out and have several times a week binges in my car on unhealthy takeouts. My eating habits are bipolar. I'm trying so hard to change. I have faith that I can and will.
My story is similar to some others here. I was the only one of three children to have a weight issue. My mother was thin, but my father battled to lose weight at all times. We had large tubs of ice cream in the freezer and Pop Tarts in the pantry, but it seemed I was the only one who kept craving them and sneaking them. The poster who earlier mentioned sneaking food in the closet really hit home with me. I can remember stealing Halloween candy from my brother's room and feeling so guilty and so bad about myself, just reinforcing the feeling of being a defective person. My mother took me to the doctor when I was in the 5th grade and he put on diet pills. I went into the 6th grade as a normal weight girl, but it didn't last. I can remember getting complements from my parents' friends and knowing that I had been the subject of their conversations. I never felt good inside when they complemented me. I just felt as though they were all saying, "Well, you're slightly less defective now!" I now know they all meant well, but I couldn't see it since I had it in my head that I was not a good person.
Again, just like others have said, my parents did what they felt was right and what they knew at the time.
Yep, my mother's. I have been 5 foot 6 and 360 lbs much of my adult life.
If he does not constantly eat he would starve to death. My other grandson tall and 500 lbs. Must have a mixed up set of genes there.
It is no use complaining I will just have to play the cards I was dealt.
Yes it's pretty dog gone tasty but horrible for the body. We ate fish but it was always fried. We ate a LOT of red meat & pork. If we had chicken it was slathered in thick bbq sauce or doused in batter & fried. My dad used to take the extra fat & skin off the chicken and cook it for an appetizer. I was brought up thinking this was good healthy eatin'! They still eat this way btw & they have a plethora of health problems related to it. 
