Thank you Nola. It's nice to hear that other people have gone through or are going through the same kind of depression. I'm so sorry for your losses and that you had to go through that.
Last night I fortunately had a migraine so I was able to go to sleep just because being awake was making me feel nauseous.
I think I've actually pinpointed a major reason behind my depression. Too much free time. I graduated last year, and since then I've done nothing. I just sit at home on the computer or watch TV or movies. I burned through all seven seasons of Desperate Housewives in 2-3 weeks, plus a few other shows over the past couple of months.
I've been looking into colleges and took the initiative today to call my school of choice and talk with a woman about enrolling. I felt so happy and empowered about doing something with my life. I actually felt
giddy. I have a meeting with the school to take my admissions exam and look into financial aid and housing opportunities in 2 weeks. I feel like a HUGE weight has been lifted off of my shoulders! The only problem now is the cost of tuition and living, but I know that can be done by financial aid, loans, and working.
I know I have depression. I'm pretty sure I've had it for years. What scares me is I'm afraid that I'm going to screw up in school because of it (I had a hard time in high school). I've been assured by many people hundreds of times that college is much different than high school. I'm hoping they're right!
On another positive note: My mom brought me home two grilled chicken breasts from KFC last night and I devoured them
. I also had a whoosh and saw 221 for the first time this morning! It seems like the days I actually ate this week are the days that I lost weight. I feel bad for being cruel to my body and starving it. It's obviously trying to thank me for giving it food.
