[Robin41]

There's nothing wrong with wanting to be comfortable in your own body. I started out for health reasons but saw no reason not to embrace the cute clothes and compliments that come with being thinner.

Life is easier thin. Does it solve all problems? Certainly not, but it's nice to not add to life's troubles by adding fear of airline seats, fear of restaurant booths, and the relative strength of plastic lawnchairs compared to your butt.

[kaplods]

Originally Posted by stacygee

I went through a stage that I said I was very against dieting. It was really just a cover up b/c I couldn't find the will power to stick to anything.

I also went through a stage of being very against dieting, but it wasn't a coverup for anything. In my experience, 35 years of experience, diets only resulted (eventually) in my gaining weight.

I didn't know how to diet in a sustainable way. I knew my weight was impacting my health, but I didn't know how to diet in a way that wouldn't end with my being fatter than ever, so I was anti-diet, and had no good alternative.

When I lost 20 lbs unintentionally after being prescribed a cpap for sleep apnea, I was astonished. My cardiologist and pulmonologist both predicted that I would lose weight without trying as a result of the apnea treatment (I thought they were nuts). I don't even know how long it took, because I didn't even own a scale at the time. I just discovered at a checkup about 8 or 9 months after being prescribed the cpap, that I had lost 20 lbs.

I had never accidentally lost weight before (maybe with a flu, but that always came right back on).

I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to gain the weight back, so I didn't want to diet as I always had. I decided I needed to find a different way to diet. For me, that meant initially taking weight loss off the table, entirely. I decided to only make changes that I was willing to commit to whether or not they resulted in weight loss. And for two years, it didn't result in weight loss. I did keep the 20 lbs off, though and I made some great health improvements. I could do more, and I felt better (my health was extremely poor when I started. I couldn't even shower without a shower chair, and could barely wash my hair. Showering was so difficult that it wiped me out. I'd have to take a nap after showering).

I'm not losing weight for beauty or sex appeal. My husband and I (both quite fat) find each other sexy and attractive. We're losing to be healthier, not to be prettier. Is it a "better" motivation? I'm not even going to touch that. All I can say is that it's a better motivation for me. I don't have to evaluate it for anyone but me.

I don't value physical appearance all that much. Even when it comes to clothing, I prefer personality and originality to conventional beauty (even if the aesthetic isn't all that pleasing. Odd trumps beauty in my book.)

So for me, the motivation for weight loss had to be something else (for me health worked better). Even though my main motivation is health, I'm not going to feel guilty for looking better to myself or others. That would be hypocritical. It would mean that while I said "beauty isn't important to me," what I really meant would be "lack of beauty is morally superior to beauty."

If you believe that beauty isn't very important, then having it isn't anything to be proud OR guilty of. Even though I don't care much about beauty, it doesn't mean I should be ashamed of liking the way I look as I lose. Everything in my life doesn't have to be equally important. I don't consider posessions important, and wouldn't feel badly about giving every bit of it away for some higher purpose, but that doesn't mean I should feel guilty for having and liking some of my possessions. "Not important, but nice" is ok too.

I look better. It's not important to me, but it is nice.

I feel better. It's not only nice, it's very important to me.


I am not a better person, I'm just a thinner one. I don't have to hate the old me, to become a new me.

[krampus]

Originally Posted by epro

Did it work?

A little. I'm still by every definition a work in progress. It is very nice to be able to wear my hair pulled back without fretting over my lack of jaw definition, that's for sure.

[fivestone]

Originally Posted by ncuneo

I'll be honest, while yes I lost weight to be healthy and have a baby, I really lost it because I wanted to be thin again. I wanted to fit in, I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin, I wanted to shop where ever I wanted, I wanted to stop feeling like people were staring at me because I was fat, I wanted to be the hot mom, the trophy wife, I wanted people to be jealous of me for a change. Yes I did it for many superficial reasons and I'm not ashamed. We live in the world we live in and for many of us, or at least for me, that world is easier as a thin person.

This... so much this. I live in a culture where I'm pretty much a superminority (central Europe with American, African, and western European roots). Sure, I speak the language and I embrace the culture and all that, yet at the same time, I'll always look like a foreigner at first glance, which is kind of annoying, but whatever. I don't have to look like a fat, ugly foreigner, at least.

So it's nice now to be slim and feel pretty. My husband says that some guys have told him that they envy him, which I know in turn makes him feel proud and good inside (which makes me happy, because he's a wonderful man, and I want everybody to know that I don't have eyes for anyone but him!) It's nice to feel confident and good about myself and my hard work, and I sure ain't gonna apologise for it. I guess my biggest struggle now is just knowing where is best for my size to settle weight-wise...and keeping true to what I want for me, and not what I think the culture dictates that I should be, or something.

[hope for recovery]

Hey cheer up a bit! You are doing something loving and caring for your body! There is nothing wrong with that! And also our truth about the world and our values has got to change otherwise we never grow! Don't ask me how I felt when i stopped being a vegetarian after years! But it was the right thing for me to do at the time! And losing weight does mean that you are not loving your body! It is precisely because you love it that you care! And I know that love your overweight fat body talk, I used to do it but if i really loved it i would not let it be overweight but I did... because i did not love myself enough. But now I allow my body to lose weight and i don't stuff it with food for no reason or emotional reason because i care! And so do you! Congratulate yourself!

[astrophe]

I guess I want to know why you guys are losing weight. Is it societal preassures, health issues, or just simply superficiality? Do you feel any guilt towards trying to fit a certain beauty mold/standard?


Because no matter how you slice it, 260 lbs on 5'8" is obese. That's not healthy for me now, and it isn't any healthier as I age.

I don't feel any guilt about it. I'm not trying to fit in any mold. Even when I was 160 lbs I wasn't trying to fit in any mold. I pretty much like me, and I don't have body image anxieties.

I was you when I was younger -- defending beauty at any size. I still believe that, though I don't need to defend it any more. My friends today are much more secure in themselves.

A person can be beautiful and wear themselves well as any size. But a person isn't healthy at every size. I'm not at my healthiest at this weight. I am obese.

Some of my friends in my younger days weren't healthy in the HEAD even though their bodies were fine. That's another kind of healthy at every size -- some people think losing weight = instant mental health. Like if they get slim enough, they don't have to do any work on self esteem or their negative thinking or something. Usually they just keep right on picking at themselves unless they put in the time for the mental/emotional health improvement stuff as well as the physical improvement stuff.

I'm not against healthy dieting. That's part of health maintaining. I only wish I'd started paying more attention sooner -- like you. When I was only 20-30 lbs out from target. I am against fad diets that are unhealthy. I don't see how that fits into a healthy habit.

In my teens and early 20's, I found it quite tiresome to listen to young women my own age cut themselves down all the time about how they were fat, or ugly or what crazy fad diet was the newest IN thing. I got tired of reassuring and you know what? I found it was bad for MY mental health to be surrounded by unhealthy thinking people. I went to hang with the guys more instead. Fantasy football was boring, but at least it wasn't boring AND body image/self esteem eroding.

I try to give the young women I meet today a little more encouragement and a little more patience, but I won't kid you. I still find it tiresome when the talk turns to body bashing. And if it starts to be more than I can take, I run for the hills. I don't need my own mental health starting to get rocky from hanging in a toxic environment.

A.

[Heather]

I was nearly 300 pounds and needed to rediscover me. The me who can do things rather than the me who avoided a lot of things because I didn't have the fitness or stamina. Yes, cute clothes are great too, but I had to take my life back.

[epro]

Originally Posted by Ursula745

What if you knew someone addicted to crack? Would you say the same? It's ok, you're addicted to crack. Just embrace it and keep doing what you're doing. Both crack and obesity are killers.

One, that's a terrible analogy; and two, I said I was for dieting if it the person's health was in danger.

[ShanIAm]

I have a lot of reasons but, sadly, being healthy is on the very bottom.

The truth is I'm tired of being jealous of my skinnier friends. I won't go out with them because they will get attention from men and I will not.

I am ashamed that I can't roll over easily while in bed and I wake myself up struggling.

Perhaps TMI but I'm tired of meeting men who think I'd be an easy to get into bed. Because, you know, I'm fat and have no self esteem or self respect. *insert eye roll here*

I want to wear cute skirts without stockings this summer.

I want to buy clothes in another color other than black.

I want my entire body to tan and not be left with white streaks where the fat folds were located.

I don't want to embarress my currently nameless boyfriend when he introduces me to friends & family.

I want people to treat me nicer.

I want to stop OBSESSING about what I look like and how much I weigh. I am exhausted thinking about it every minute of every day.

Yup.....all about vanity for me. ME ME ME!!

[stacygee]

My reasons have changed as I have been going along. It started out that I thought I had to fit in. and then after a stress test failure it was for my health. Now I feel like I had been floundering and now I am defining myself as a person going on a weightloss journey. I am all about sticking to my plan and exercise and losing weight. I feel so much better inside and out and I can't wait to get to wear the last of the clothes in my OLD sizes and go buy new clothes.