[astrophe]

Weird.

My SIL put her health back on the front burner and she's done great! I'm glad for her. I wasn't quite ready to do it then but I am now. But there's no competition or sharing or support.

I prefer all that from here, not IRL. I do not LIKE competition about weight loss. I'm in it for the health, and it doesn't help my mental health to get all... gung ho in a group like that. It makes for awkward family gatherings and really, I don't need or want to blab my medical file around the dinner table. It's my biz.

I would probably go "How great! I'm glad for you."

And then I'd quietly keep doing my own thing. And hide the Facebook crap if it was starting to get all crazy.

I need my mental health as even keel as my physical health. Part of my thing is reducing my stress so I'm not up for adding stress making crazy to my program!

A.

[Magrat]

I can relate because I feel competitive with one of my coworkers in regards to weight loss. She lost a lot more weight than I did and in a shorter time. While it took me more than five years to lose 32 pounds, she dropped sixty five pounds in a little over eight months. Now she's barely twenty pounds heavier than I am and I am worried than in a month or two she will catch up and pass me. In fact this is very likely to happen since she's about the same height as me but with a smaller frame.

I keep telling myself we're all different and I shouldn't feel this way but I do and mentally beating myself up over having these feelings isn't going to make them go away.

[Horo]

Hmm.. I think I would look at that in a much different light. If the people around me used my weight loss as a motivation to improve their own lifestyles, I'd be thrilled that something positive I've done could affect other people in that way... could move them to want to do something positive for themselves, too. No matter what kind of thoughts really spurred their actions, I'd take it as a great compliment for my success to inspire other people in that way.

[krampus]

I know exactly how you feel Jonesie. I lost some weight and was running, and then suddenly my boyfriend started watching what he ate and running too. He looks better now than before but I just felt like he was invading on my turf (dumb logic on my part, as I am not the ONLY PERSON ON EARTH allowed to lose weight) and it felt threatening.

[milmin2043]

There is definitely an "order of things and people" within families. When you step outside those boundaries, things can get very weird.

My aunt has been very heavy most of her life. She had Gastric Bypass in her early 50s. She lost a ton of weight and looks terrific. She really needed the surgery. She has had to have numerous surgeries on her legs, ankles and feet due to the extra weight she carried all those years. I was thrilled for her. She is a super nice person to everyone. I heard some of my other "catty", skinny aunts whispering about her at the last family reunion and it really made my blood boil. They were saying how they knew she would gain it all back and how she has no willpower, yada, yada, yada. Meanwhile, these skinny brats were eating 2 and 3 pieces of cake right in front of her. About 3 times a year they all start a challenge to lose a few pounds. They get very competitive and someone always ends up getting in a tiff over it. I wouldn't join one if they paid me.

Yep, I got off track there too. I guess I'm just offering support in the "families are weird" category.

Hugs to you! You're doing great!