[agrey426]

I used to be a healthy weight (teen years) and was an early bloomer so I used to be noticed for my looks and not for the person that I was...when I started gaining and gaining and gaining-people would notice me just as the person that I was. As a human. I didn't get much attention other than that and I was happy with that but not happy with me. So I got serious and found something that is really working for me and putting the control of my body back into my hands. But something unexpected is happening.

Since I started losing weight, I'm beginning to be looked at again and am uncomfortable with it. I am no longer a human...

I wonder if I'm better off fat. I don't like all the attention. I think people who are dieting or losing weight should get counseling as well just to deal with the issues that come up along the way. But I don't have time or money for therapy, so hopefully you experienced people can help...

agrey

[BellaLucia]

Hey dear! I've gotten attention being this big and never that much being slim so u could say I have reason to want to stay fat, lol! I can't give u advice but I will say that your life is to be lived for you and God and no one else, so let them eat cake!

[niafabo]

I know what you mean. I've been big since I hit puberty. Big enough that normal people wouldn't be attracted to my body and small enough that chubber chasers had bigger fish to fry so I never really got checked out. Now that I'm losing weight I'm starting to get a lot more looks and I'm getting hit on all the time. It weird me out and kind of makes me uncomfortable. I'm trying to get use to it and I'm sure I will one day but it's an odd feeling and I'm not sure how I can handle it. I'm still rather big so I'm starting to wonder what it will be like when I reach goal. That's one of the few things I'm not looking forward to which is weird because I know that I should be. Glad I'm not the only one. XD

[Ultreos]

I will tell you this much. Getting healthy and thin does not make it easier to find a significant other, in fact it can make it much much more difficult. Why? People are suddenly interested in how you look and not as much for who you are.

In your situation, since you made no mention one way or the other, you are dealing with attention based off what you look like as opposed to what you are.

However, that is not to say that as these people get to know you that they won't look at you as a human being. Rather you are catching their attention based off appearance. These are people who are more apt to strike up a conversation after looking at you, as opposed to people who strike up a conversation, then make decisions about you one way or another.

In the end however, you need to do what you feel the happiest doing. If that means losing weight then by all means do it. If it means staying "bigger" Be sure you are a healthy bigger. I can tell you this much, with how I feel today, my ability and want to get up in the morning because I have the energy to do so, I would never want to be as big as I was ever again.

Even though your viewpoint of what others are noticing is likely correct, nothing feels quite as good as feeling healthy and energetic. If you want to be better off "bigger" make sure you do it for you. Not to deter them.

Of course, take what you will from a guy who gives advice, I am after all a member of the same gender side that is probably giving you the most of this attention. Heh.

[Laureedee]

I too have some issue with the attention I'm receiving. I kind of like not being invisible, but at the same time, I'm just not used to it because I've been chubby since I was a pre-teen. The only man I was ever with who liked me solely for my looks was into bigger women, the rest wanted to be with me because they got to know my personality and liked that. I'm afraid to dip into the "shallow" world where my appearance may be the first thing that catches attention but it's bound to happen. I really wish I could afford counseling, I would totally go; I have enough self esteem issues that are being challenged as I get smaller to send a therapist on a few vacations!

[Lori Bell]

You don't really say what kind of attention you are receiving. Is it sexual attention from men, or is it compliments and praise from both sexes in general? If it's the latter, don't worry, after people are used to seeing you a normal size, they don't mention it much any more. And if it's unwanted sexual attention, just avoid eye contact and leave the situation as soon as possible. Some men are dorks, but they can usually figure out when a chick is NOT interested. If you don't like male attention, there are ways to avoid it without becoming fat.

[agrey426]

Thank you everyone for your input and advice. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has struggled with these types of issues.

It is just the general way men are looking at me now that bothers me and I do tend try to avoid eye contact and avoid awkward or uncomfortable situations, but it's difficult because I work in a restaurant and HAVE TO communicate with customers.

I'm sure I'll get used to it, I just have a hard time trusting people who make judgements based on looks alone. It makes for a lonely life.

I hope to get to know and support you all, too. Taking control of my body is jump starting my taking more control of my life and it feels great! And I have oto take my hat off to all of you who have the weight loss tickers...I don't have the guts to display my standings, but maybe I should...
I started at 201.5 on December 14th, 2010 and have successfully lost 25.5 pounds as of today 1/18/11
It's the beginning of the year and the beginning of my new life.

Thanks again!

[Kahokkuri]

Congrats on your successes so far, agrey!

It seems to me like the people are not only responding to your shrinking size but also to your increasing confidence. If you feel great, I imagine that you're giving off the vibe and people are sensing it. People are probably seeing an attractive woman who is competent at her job and happy with herself. That kind of confidence is attractive of many levels, not all of them sexual. I hope you can think of the new-found attention in that light.

No matter what you look like I think there will always be people who want to look at you, talk to you and get to know you because they're genuinely interested.