This is something that I just can't stand. My friends react very poorly to me trying to eat healthier and exercise. I'm sure its coming from a good place but I'm so tired of the admonishments and the looks I get when I turn a food item over to read the nutrition facts and ingredients. I get comments when I get steamed veggies instead of fries (even if it has nothing to do with weight loss and everything to do with me wanting vegetables). My roomie will try to get me to eat sweets even when I tell her I can't she won't let it go (one piece quickly turns into the whole pan for me :/). Because of all this I have to hide what I'm doing usually and I feel obligated to keep up appearances (eat poorly, be lazy) This is all making it hard for me because I want to relapse. I've never been one to starve myself and I've never taken diet pills before. Recently I started taking alli (after a talk with my doctor and my family) but I have to hide this from them as well. Its become ridiculous.
Does anyone have experience with this? What did you do? How did you respond? I am so sick of being an undercover healthy person.
Sometimes, that's what it takes. A verbal slap in the face (still gentle) is sometimes necessary to get people to back off.
Keep in mind that most comments like that come from people who either don't understand what you're doing, don't understand why you're doing it, or can't be bothered enough to care. And, while it's not your job (or position, really) to educate them, you DO need to stand up for yourself if you want this sort of thing to stop.
Saying something like "Do you realize how rude you're being?" or "So, I want to do something good for myself, and all you can do is tease me?" or something along those lines will generally wake people up.
We live with someone in their 60's (and loves the beer, chili, wings diet...*grins*) who, when we first started, made comments like "Bah!...just walk it off later!" or "...but it's sooo tasty!" while we were trying to calculate calories...and we ignored him. As days passed, he started asking what we were actually doing...and as the days have turned into weeks, and the results have started to show physically, he actually encourages us.
Be strong, and embarrass your friends a little. You're not being malicious, you just want to be respected, and there's nothing wrong with that...just keep in mind that since they don't understand, they can't relate, and it's easy to make fun of something like that...so don't feel like they're bad people or out to hurt you, either. They just don't understand. If you set some boundaries and they persist, however...it may be time to find new friends.
Don't expect anyone to change their habits on your behalf, but you have the right to be respected and to make your own decisions. You CAN do this, and if you ever need someone to talk to, this forum is an incredible group of non-judgemental people who can relate to anything you can throw at them.
There is absolutely no reason for you to have to hide something as normal as eating healthy and being active.
I read nutrition labels, but that's because I usually read everything I pick up. I'm OCD like that. Plus, sometimes those nutrition labels can be really shocking! Sneaky, sneaky calories and sodium contents!
I say do what you want to do, and if they raise a fuss, tell them to stop being so rude. It's not like you're telling them they have to eat their veggies and work out.
I used to have a friend (no longer my friend and this is one of the many reasons) who was overweight. She was bigger than I by a good 50 or 60 pounds (to put perspective to it) and she was unhappy about her weight. She, however, was lazy. That's exactly the word to describe her. Anyway, we used to hang out at Denny's all the time and whenever we were there (or any restaurant), I would want to get tea and she would want an entire grand slam with a burger and fries and a shake and would demand I get something, too. She'd sometimes even offer to pay for it when I would use "I don't have the money" as an excuse.
When I kept saying "no," she would just get angry and say well now I had ruined her night because she couldn't eat now because she'd look fat.
Anyway, when it would really start to get to me (like it is getting to you), I would just start flaunting my diet all over her. Be proud of what you're doing! Your roomie is the one trying to drag you down. Don't let her. Tell her no, get mad about it if you have to. Girlfriends are a tricky business. I, for one, don't like them because of their bitter hatred for the successes of others.
I had trouble with this with family during Christmas. I had to go into narrow detail about my health problems before they stopped trying to shove food in my face. I was in awe. A simple explanation of a change of habits for health reasons should be enough for anybody that actually loves us, right? You'd think so...Apparently not.
Last edited by The Last Noel; 01-08-2011 at 01:22 AM.
Reason: spelling
I sympathize completely - I feel I am constantly trying to hide my diet from others (mostly vegan, calorie counters).
Although my boyfriend now finds calorie counting quite cool! I've also noticed his *complaining* about my vegan diet to his friends is actually not really complaining, he is gloating a bit because he now eats the food I cook (mostly veggies) and drinks much less than his friends (I don't drink much, because of calorie counting and the munchies) and never smokes anymore. Not drinking as much gives him more time to concentrate on running/jogging - which we do together.
I guess this is my optimistic story of my transition to "feel at home in my body" and my boyfriend, who is also my best friend, coming to accept it and love it.
Stick with it - instead of letting your friends bring you down, try bringing them down with you! Turn the tables on them! Buy some fresh mango and offer it to them as a treat. Make delicious, veggie filled dinners or whole grain pizza crust, and offer it to them! Try to get them to start an exercise course with you or yoga or go walking, and make it a goal to start jogging. Let them know how good you feel when you eat less and when you eat mostly veggies. Let them know that you aren't comfortable anymore carrying around 208 lbs., that you want your body to match who you know you are on the inside.
I don't think I would necessarily say anything even slightly negative - they will just think you are grumpy because you aren't eating enough!
Hiding My Healthy Habits
