Once again I fel off the wagon after only being on it for a day or two. It's a damn shame I can't even make myself eat healthy for a week! It;s so frustrating. Once minute I;m exercising and verymotivated thinking about the air force. The next moment I'm shoving pasta in my mouth. I know all the tips and the advice. the problem is the willpower. It just seems so impossible for me to lose weight. I want it, but maybe it;s my own insecurity holding me back. My mom actually is starting to diet for the first time in years so I can;t use her as an excuse why there are always snacks around the house. I know doing cold turkey does not work for me. But what;s the first step???? Should I cut out sweets and sodas and drink only my water and tea with splenda? I'm the type of person who needs a plan and a written out one too. I can't remember to write down my meals. I can remember for half a day. I feel so disappointed in myself even though I know I should forgive and forget. I want to join the air force but they will not allow me top join being 100 lbs over weight. I am so jealous of those who lost weight. Congrats, but I wish I could be like you.

Hi Stasia! I think the key is doing small, manageable things one at a time in order to keep yourself from freaking out. I think your idea of cutting out sweets and sodas is a great way to start.

Maybe try that for 2 weeks. Then after 2 weeks if you are successful, try not eating pasta and potatoes for another week, etc. There are so many successful, kind, and supportive people here who will help you through it day to day. Good luck!

The first step is making a commitment and deciding why you want this, then committing to it. No matter what. No hopping on and off the wagon because there is no wagon - there is just you marching along the road towards your destination.

No one here can do that for you.

Then you need to pick a plan. Calorie counting and weight watchers seem the most reasonable to me. WW has the added bonus of the structure of meetings and accountability.

Then you need to stick to that plan no matter what. No matter how tired or bored or sad or angry you are. No matter what holiday, time of the month, phase of the moon it is.

No one can do that for you either.

I agree with them. Start small to become small Don't go full force or you will end up just falling backwards. Set up mini goals. Alter your habits little by little.
Good luck and stay positive!

don't stop just because you fall off. every little step counts. the more you don't give up, the more you solidify what you're doing as habit, and getting there is the most important thing.

I totally second what gagalu just said, the idea is to make it a habit, not to feel like a failure the first time you slip a little bit (or even a lot). I have found that it's best to focus on small steps and change one thing at a time. I started exercising before I actually started looking at my food intake, which made it a lot easier.

It's important to have a plan. Everyone here has their own set of rules that they follow. If you can find the one that fits into your lifestyle and you can maintain it, you'll reach your goal. The hard part is figuring it out. It sounds like too many changes at once overwhelm you. Start with drinking more water. Do that for a few days. Then, remove all caloric drinks (soda, juice, sweetened coffee, etc.). Do that for a few more days. I would really recommend writing down everything you eat for a week. Just writing it down will probably make you cut down. I also recommend counting calories but don't cut it out too drastically. Finally...move more. Walking, climbing stairs, etc. You may want to get a workout dvd (libraries have those and once you love one, you can buy it cheap off amazon usually). If you fall down, pick yourself up as soon as you can. Just about everyone here has fallen off plan at some point.

Know that you're going to fall down along the way, but as long as you are persistent with your plan and always come back to it you will lose weight. It may take years like it did for me, but it will happen.

I'm no expert, I just started myself, but if you're forgetting to log what you eat, I would suggest to start counting calories. Not to stay under, but for a reason to log what you eat. I use a program on my smart phone, which puts my list at hand at all times.

It will also make you realize how many calories are in the things you eat all the time. Maybe tomorrow you'll eat one less, then cut out something else the next day.

I don't think it's a lack of willpower at all. It's a matter of true honest-to-goodness cravings you are fighting. And you're beating yourself up along the way too! Not good! I suggest doing as you described, cutting out sugar and white foods, and definitely soda! Make a plan to cut these out for three days. Just three days!! On the fourth day, saying "no" to these foods will be a whole lot easier.

I see two ways of going about this. One, find a copy of the South Beach Diet, even if you don't plan on doing the program. It's very educational and it definitely kicks craving. I no longer do SBD, but I learned so much from and draw from its basic principles.

The other way is to just cut out the white stuff. No sugar, potatoes, chips, white rice, white bread, etc. Instead eat sweet potatoes, winter squash, vegetables, brown rice, WW bread, etc. But limit yourself to 1-2 servings of these per day. Think "substitute" rather than "eliminate".

Now is the perfect time to take this on if your mom is doing it too! It's always easier when a household takes weight issues to task.

Well, in my opinion, that first week is the very hardest! I think I am reading you say, "It's a damn shame I can't even make myself eat healthy for a week --- let alone the rest of my life." But really, once you get that first week under your belt, it does start to get easier.

So if it will help you, I say write out your plan for one week. Exactly what you will eat each day. Then tie yourself to a chair if you have to (not literally ), to just stick with it for that week. Make sure it's not a starvation plan or a ridiculous plan that is not sustainable, but one FULL of filling, healthy foods and enough calories. Then stick with it like glue for ONE WEEK. After that week, I bet you will find that you will want to sign yourself up for another week.

I know you said cold-turkey doesn't work for you, but it has been my experience that if I can really eliminate the junk for a good few days, the cravings for those things actually almost goes away. That realization has allowed me to continue, because there is no way I could do it if I was starving and craving for the rest of my life. I indulge on occasion, but I know fully and am willing to accept that if I do it, I will be back to having cravings for a few days afterward. But again, they will go away if I get back to it!

The first week is the hardest! But you can do anything for a week, right?

Edit -- Eliana was posting at the same time, and I totally agree with everything she said!

Cold turkey doesn't work for me. The very first time I started, honestly, trying to lose weight - I made ONE small change. I switched from white to wheat bread. That was it. That was my one and only first change. Now, years later, I know that wheat bread is actually THE same as white bread. HA! You need to get WHOLE wheat bread. But it was enough to get me used to the taste of something other than white bread... which lead to whole wheat pasta, etc. It expanded my tastebuds. (Now I can't stand sliced, white, wonder bread - ~gag~)

When I was used to the wheat bread, I switched ONE snack each day for a piece of fruit.

As each thing became easy/habit, I would add on one more thing. They add up quickly. And I find even little changes that you can be consistant with over time are going to make a big difference.

Cutting out sodas is good... or maybe limit to one a day/then one a week. Soemtimes, you just need to start with a REALLY small goal to get the ball rolling and to get your confidence up.

Maybe you are letting perfection be the enemy of the good. Maybe you think that if everything isn't 100% great and on plan that you are doomed to failure. The first thing you need to know (and believe) is that you CAN lose weight and keep it off. Anybody can. There is no magic or secret.

I'd suggest that you make 1 positive health change and committ to it for 2 weeks. Sometime like switching regular soda/ pop for diet or water. Once you've mastered that, you can move on to something else. You can't give up when slip up happen. When you are feeling down and feel like you are losing control, please post here.

Cold turkey doesn't work for me. Baby steps were really the force that changed my diet habits.

For you, instead of trying to eat perfectly or fearing getting off the wagon or even worrying about all the pasta you're eating, don't get caught up (yet!) on the number of calories or the food you're eating.

Start just by tracking what you're eating in a journal (online or in a paper one). Write down your food. Find out the calories in each food.

Sure, maybe you eat a big bowl of pasta. Write it down -- 3 cups of pasta, 1 cup of tomato sauce, 5 meatballs, 1/4 cup of parmesan cheese. Write it down.

No recriminations!

Just write it down and start seeing what you're eating.

Get in the habit of putting in the journal everything that goes into your mouth. 1 packet of M&Ms. 45 Potato chips. 1/2 jar of ranch dip. Whatever.

Do this for a week or two. Start seeing patterns. Maybe you're eating a lot of refined carbs. Maybe you're eating a lot when your mom pisses you off. Maybe you eat a lot when you're watching TV or bored.

Then the next week or the week after that, start drinking more water. Substitute that soda for fizzy water. Instead of juice, drink a bottle of water.

Do that for a while.

Once you feel okay doing that change, try something else. Maybe instead of 3 cups of pasta, you eat only 2. Instead of 5 meatballs, you only eat 4.

Figure out a slow path to how you can make a lifestyle change.

Everyone (me included!) wants to lose all their weight instantly. But what I've found in the last year and half is that what makes it happen is a series of small baby steps that you don't even notice are making a change in your life.

I never thought I could live without drinking soda. I loved it too much. I went from sugar soda, to diet soda, to fizzy water, and to water. I still drink fizzy water, but I have no problems with regular water. I don't get cravings for Coke or ginger ale or whatever. It's amazing, because I never thought I would be sitting here telling you this.

I think for me, it was important to see how much and what I was eating. To get in the habit of keeping track of everything I put in my mouth. Sometimes it's not perfect, if I forget I ate something, but as long as I'm tracking 95-99% of what I put in my mouth, I'm okay.

I tracked for a long time without cutting calories or limiting what I ate. I just wanted to know what I was eating and how many calories it was. I did. I tracked and tracked and then one day I said to myself, I wonder if I can keep it under 1800?

I did. Then I tried it again the next day. I could.

And I could actually figure that out because I knew how much I was eating. I knew I could eat one cup of pasta less and stay under the 1800 calories. I could not drink that soda or eat that chocolate and still feel satisfied with my meals.

Now I eat a lot less than that I feel stuffed. In fact, I can eat 1500 calories (without counting them) and my body feels stuffed (I think I've retrained it to feel satisfied with less calories).

But don't try to overhaul your life too much because you'll find yourself getting "on the wagon" and "off the wagon" and that's not going to make you feel good about yourself or help you change your habits.

Weight loss, successful weight loss in my opinion anyway, is about having good healthy habits and promote your new body. Change those the habits that made you increase your weight to those that will make you reach your goal weight.

I know how you feel! Some people may disapprove with what I'm about to suggest but it's how I lost weight before I joined the Army (I was still over by like 5% body fat when I joined by the way... I had to take a step test- five minutes on a 12in. high stepper following a beat they had on a cd, it was a step every 1.5 seconds, then I got to rest for 1 minute and then do 5 pushups). Anyway, try substitution, but just in the beginning. Its a good idea to completey cut out sweets, sugar is like a drug. But if you feel like you're going to cave, have a sugar free soda... thats what I did. If you really want to have some pasta... just make it whole grain and use some sort of tomato based sauce instead of alfredo which is really high calorie and high fat. If you're craving something so bad that you feel like you're going to ruin your progress that day... just find a low fat or low sugar version of it and have it in moderation. I'm not a fan of the idea because in essence you're still feeding your craving, and ultimately you want to learn how to control your craving and be able to say no to them, but baby steps are necessary to get there. Hope this helped And don't give up on your dream!

Another tidbit.... if you can't afford a gym, or you really feel like you need some more support and you're serious about joining the air force, go see a recruiter. my recruiter took me to the gym everyday for like two months, they would work out with me at the gym on post, or if they were busy they would drop me off and pick me up and take me home later in the day. There were a lot of other "recruits" in the gym working on losing some weight so they could join. One girl that I met had been working on it for six months... she had started at 250 lbs and when I met her she was in the 170's already. The more desperate the air force recruiters are, the more they'll help, depends on where you live usually. I lived up north and people aren't as willing to join up there so the recruiters will go to great extents to help people to join so they can meet their quotas.