[Windchime]

Originally Posted by Lyn2007

My husband told me when I had lost some weight from 278 pounds, "I am not attracted to skinny women." My response was "are you attracted to women hooked up to cardio machines in the ER? How about DEAD woman, are you attracted to those? Because that will be ME if I do not lose the weight."

Wow, this is a great response! Hopefully that made him stop and think about his position.

[Nola Celeste]

I absolutely agree with those who recommend counseling.

Everyone has his or her own physical ideal, and I know that for some people, sexy = big. But this is not about looks alone; this is about your life. Commitment in marriage means acknowleding that your spouse's appearance may change over time; most of us get gray or bald or thinner or fatter--and all of us wind up older. I hope that counseling will help him see that and not look upon your weight solely in terms of his own predilections.

Counseling would also help his insecurity that you referred to in your initial post. It is never a good thing in a relationship for one partner to want the other to be unwell and dependent for fear of losing him/her.

[LisaF]

Originally Posted by Lyn2007

I am sorry you're dealing with this, but this isn't about vanity and looks. This is about your health, your LIFE. Anyone who loves you will want you around and healthy. Talk to him about that.

I agree with this completely.

That being said, and for YOUR information (not his), losing weight doesn't necessarily mean having your cup size shrink. Frankly, I wish it did - I've been hoping to get down to at least a DD so I can buy some of those pretty bra and panties sets, but my breasts are refusing to cooperate. I went from a 48 DDD to a 36 DDD. Along the way, my cup size did get down to D once, but the next time my band size went down my cup size went right back up.

[twinmommaplusone]

Several things to help!


one- dont tell him you want to weigh 150 lbs, tell him you want to be healthy.

two- get to the Dr and get your numbers checked, do it WITH HIM, both of you get your numbers checked, have a good talk to your doctor about how your poor choices are going to affect the length and vitality of your life together and as parents, not lets forget you have to stick around for your kids!

three- get him on board, I dont care what you have to do, just start doing it. You make the healthy meal, you prepare his plate and if he chooses to eat more and or something else, that HIS choice

four- do this for YOU! You need your life back, you have the right to feel good with energy and vibrant happiness.

five- if all else fails, STOP having these conversations with him. Start yourself and make the changes with the only calm reassurance that this is not about looks (about being skinny) but being healthy! I hope you know this for fact because you will be much more succesful if you make this about health than for looks.

Plus reassure him that you will NOT lose it all in your boob area, as a matter of fact I'm sure you will some from your breasts but you will likely lose it from your mid-section first and he wont' even notice the difference. Your breasts may shrink with your waist and he wont tell, only you will with your bra!

Don't fight with him just talk....do it togther! I'm telling you I did it with my husband, he lost 100 pounds himself and has been at goal weight for 6plus months now and we are SO MUCH CLOSER!

[tytbody]

You're closer in more ways then ne twin mom. Lol