Since joining this wonderful group here in January 2010, I have received so much support and encouragement and I am so grateful for that. I feel I have been a community member long enough to address an issue that has bothered me for a long time now.
What is up with some of our screen names?? There are some that are so self-degrading that it literally makes me angry. I don't want to single out any names, but I know there are many here.
I'd like to propose that we reconsider our screen names if they include something degrading or referencing our dissatisfaction with our bodies. Make it positive??
Thanks!!
Last edited by AnnieDrews; 09-29-2010 at 12:53 PM.
I agree, although mine has nothing to do with my weight or self esteem. It's my last name spelled backwards. I've been thinking about changing it though.
Mine is Rosinante, based on (but I believe mis-spelt) Don Quixote's horse - used to be a cart-horse, now a throroughbred. Also got a bit of Rose in it too: someone (sorry, can't remember who) used to have a tag about the rose deciding it was more painful to stay a bud than to take a risk and bloom; that's what I'm working on too.
I agree. Sometimes when I see those screen names it tugs at my heart! Mine just reflects my southern upbringing with my current location! Not to be confused with the book I'd like to write: Fleeing the Humidity: A Southern Girl goes West!
I don't know, seems to me it should be up to each person what she wants to call herself, not up to the group consensus.
For some folks, facing up to the fact that they're fat - not trying to nicey-nice it away - is part of the process. Maybe some of them plan to change their names when they get where they want to be, like onederchic did. For others, their user names may be wry comments on the kinds of euphemisms people have used over the years - fluffy, chunky, big-boned. I think these sorts of user names can be rather funny.
Few things are more a matter of personal comfort than what you choose to call yourself. It's too bad if you don't like someone else's username, but that doesn't mean they should self-identify differently, if the name is part of their process of both accepting and changing who they are. Just my perspective, of course.
Agreed. Maybe self-deprecation is the way that some people deal with things by trying to be funny? Or maybe they do it to try to make themselves "face" up to something. But it seems to me that to define yourself into a box during a time when you are trying to make a change can't be good for you. I wince when I see some of the names. I'm glad I am not the only one sensitive to it.
I guess when it boils down to it people pick a name on how they are feeling at that time.
To me I feel screennames define who you feel you are as a person- and hence when I can't stand names like "johnsgirl" cuz I feel like that person bases their worth on the relationship they are in. I was on a forum where one girl's named changed THREE TIMES. She went from Seansgirl to Joshsgirl to someone else's girl and I was like seriously? Are you defined by your man?
I have seen some names that make me chuckle- but when you see a name like "fatforever" it makes you wonder why a person would pick that name.
Btw fatforever is a name I made up- if someone has a similar username I'm not pointing you out!
I dont necessarily disagree, but I am going to play devil's advocate here....
*Empowerment*
In an effort to take away the power that words can have, they are "taken back" by the very people they had often been used against. Ebonics is another great example, aside from the weight related language you mentioned.
*Why do we have to be positive all the time?*
For many, being overweight isnt a vanity issue. It is a lifelong trauma that has caused extreme emotional and sometimes physical pain. Coming to terms with that, accepting it fully so that you can cope appropriately and then make changes may include emotions that arent positive. Isnt that ok? Cant we call ourselves fat when we feel that way instead of pretending?
*Why do you give these words power?*
Why does it matter to you? I have not noticed many negative posts here, even you echoed that. So if there doesnt seem to be any correlation between the screen names that bother you and actual negativity in the posts, it comes to mind that you may be giving these words more power than they deserve.
I totally agree and have thought it numerous times. Thanks for being brave enough to bring it up Annie! I'm a strong believer in the concept that we create our worlds by our words. What we speak, we become.
Wow, thanks for all the replies!! I am certainly not suggesting we make any rules on screen names. I feel we should use what we feel comfortable with, it just bothers me to see people using unflattering names.
**My name, BTW, is a combination of part of my real life name and part of my fiance's last name.***
Westersoutherngirl: Love the name of your upcoming book!
xty's thoughts echoed my own, and I just want to add a follow-on comment:
Quote:
Originally Posted by xty
*Why do we have to be positive all the time?*
For many, being overweight isnt a vanity issue. It is a lifelong trauma that has caused extreme emotional and sometimes physical pain. Coming to terms with that, accepting it fully so that you can cope appropriately and then make changes may include emotions that arent positive. Isnt that ok? Cant we call ourselves fat when we feel that way instead of pretending?
I think thoughts like this often. This process is not, for me, uniformly uplifting, cheerful, or positive. In fact, I have to rather mean and stern to myself to make it work. And sometimes I find the bubbling positivity that is common in weight-loss texts and weight-loss communities to be, frankly, cloying. I detest the term "onederland." The phrase "weight-loss journey" makes me cringe.
For me, "eat less and exercise more, you fat f**k" is my mantra, and basically sums up my diet plan. "Stop shoveling food into your fat pie-hole" and "don't be a pig" are my daily self-encouragement. These are far more effective for me that any gosh-darn-it cute little snail crawling down a rainbow ticker or cheerleaders awaiting me with pom-poms at the end of the "journey to onederland".
If I could have made my user name "fat f**k" to reflect my weight-loss mantra, I very well might have. That's just me, my own personal responses to that sort of positivity, and I'd never suggest that others stop relying upon it and putting it in their posts, if it works for them. In the same way, don't assume that relentless positivity is the answer for everyone. A little wryness, a little sternness, and a little sarcasm go a long way for some of us.
I Can't Stand It Any Longer!-Vent
I hope others will reconsider theirs as well.
I'm a strong believer in the concept that we create our worlds by our words. What we speak, we become.
