...If people change their names, how will I recognize them? D:
Just kidding. Sort of.
I've personally never worried too much about anyone's user names. Maybe I just haven't encountered anyone with a name that REALLY stuck out as self-loathing-ish?
Also: My name has a really bizarre back story. I do use it for every single internet-related thing I'm into, however. I bet I'd get a lot of hits on Google. ...I am gonna go try that right now, in fact!
The names just remind me of the coping mechanisms that a lot of us have used over the years. The way that we're not sure of being included & accepted, and so some of us overcompensate by showing others, "I may be fat, but I have a great sense of humor & I'm fun to be around," or "I may be fat, but I know it, and I own it, and so you can't use it as a weapon to hurt me, because I said it first" or "I may be fat, but I'm not dumb, and I can be quick with a cutting remark, even against myself." I see pain in those names, but I see resilience, too. So, like Stace, I see it as a form of self-deprecation, but also, like xty, I consider it a form of empowerment, in trying to own the hurtful words.
And I ain't changin' my username anytime soon ... not until the day Carter gets on the board to announce she's discovered her Inner Disney Princess & will henceforth only dress in purple, pink & sparkly bedazzled t-shirts.
I always wondered WHY a person joins an on-line community named "3 FAT chicks" when they get all wonky when a person call themselves fat... Seems weird to me.
And I ain't changin' my username anytime soon ... not until the day Carter gets on the board to announce she's discovered her Inner Disney Princess & will henceforth only dress in purple, pink & sparkly bedazzled t-shirts.
I'm very glad to know that some of you enjoyed my curmudgeonly comments! I wasn't sure whether dissing "onederland" would get me run off the board ...
I agree. If you don't love your body the way it is and speak nicely to yourself, you will not be successful.
"Get off of your lazy bovine arse and do it" and "suck it up, princess" are my exercise mottos. "Put down the fork, lardarse" is also in my repertoire. I'm down *almost* 60 lbs, so if that's failure, I'll gladly take it.
I'm very glad to know that some of you enjoyed my curmudgeonly comments! I wasn't sure whether dissing "onederland" would get me run off the board ...
I thoroughly enjoyed your comments! It's nice to hear some *real* talk once in a while, instead of everyone trying to tiptoe around everyone else (including yourself as the case may be). You're entitled to your thoughts and I could actually see where you're coming from.
I agree. If you don't love your body the way it is and speak nicely to yourself, you will not be successful.
Yeah, that's kinda rough saying unequivocally that you will not be successful. You can't possibly know that for certain. You just can't. Yet you stated it as a given, as a fact.
I have to chime in and say that I wasn't especially happy with the correlation between ignorance and cursing. Sometimes a curse word is the only way to get the point across. I have a potty mouth...not always proud of it, but I have it and don't consider myself ignorant because of it. I've also tried the positive thinking....doesn't always work.
That all being said, I don't judge others (just feel the need to defend myself). Whatever works for each individual....that's all that matters. You just have to find what motivates you. It may very well be the inner drill sergeant screaming foul language that gets you off the sofa and away from the cookies. Or it may be the sing song, soothing voice of Mr. Rogers (who I LOVED as a child) who eases you into crunches and yoga.
I used to be down on myself...sarcastic, etc & when I see names that reflect the names I know goes through their heads directed at themselves I feel bad for them....I also hold out hope that their thoughts will turn around as they become successful.
(I'm one of those people that now poop rainbows & fart butterflies, btw freaks my dh out!)
I always wondered WHY a person joins an on-line community named "3 FAT chicks" when they get all wonky when a person call themselves fat... Seems weird to me.
Ding ding ding! what do we have for her, johnny?!
Seriously, I can't understand why "fat" is such a dirty word. Especially here. It's actually annoying that it gets so much negative attention. Also, it's pretty patronizing to assume someone has a negative, self-loathing attitude because they refer to themselves as fat - an attitude that people are hoping will change with weight loss. If anything, it should be a sign of acceptance and drive. Pretending I'm not fat is more harmful than anything else. Call it whatever you want - fat, rubenesque, bbw, etc. etc. It's all semantics, and I don't think fat is inherently a negative word.
Honestly, I can't live on constantly recycled weight loss idioms, cliches, and quotes. In fact, too many of them make me want to swear (which I guess makes me ignorant according to some). I am a realist, through and through, and the truth is, right now I'm fat. It's not some horrible insult. There are plenty of things I love about myself, trust me.
Last edited by fatgirlhealthyself; 09-30-2010 at 12:19 AM.
I wasn't being patronizing....if you are down on yourself all the time it's not healthy at all. Emotional abusing yourself isn't "Being real". I've went through anger, severe depression, jealousy, being sarcastic, beating myself down, desperation to where I am today. It was part of my journey but it's not what defines me now.
Fat isn't a dirty word but calling yourself a fat cow is just horrible. Would you say that to your friend? If my friend called me that I'd knock her teeth out of her mouth.
Again, I've been there, done that with putting myself down. It was what my mom & grandmother did all my life & I knew no better. If you want to remain snarky & bitter I could careless.
It just explains where the frame of mind people are at when they flip *you* off when they cut you off
Last edited by TJFitnessDiva; 09-30-2010 at 08:31 AM.
You can't hate yourself thin. But you can and I think even have to - hate the FAT. Two different things.
It is a process. It is an fabulous time of self discovery and self growth which stems into a wonderful time of added self confidence, self worth and self respect.
fatgirlhealthyself, I just noticed the words under your user name - I'm a loser baby, so why don't you shoot me.... not sure why I brought it up though...
I think thoughts like this often. This process is not, for me, uniformly uplifting, cheerful, or positive. In fact, I have to rather mean and stern to myself to make it work. And sometimes I find the bubbling positivity that is common in weight-loss texts and weight-loss communities to be, frankly, cloying. I detest the term "onederland." The phrase "weight-loss journey" makes me cringe.
For me, "eat less and exercise more, you fat f**k" is my mantra, and basically sums up my diet plan. "Stop shoveling food into your fat pie-hole" and "don't be a pig" are my daily self-encouragement. These are far more effective for me that any gosh-darn-it cute little snail crawling down a rainbow ticker or cheerleaders awaiting me with pom-poms at the end of the "journey to onederland".
If I could have made my user name "fat f**k" to reflect my weight-loss mantra, I very well might have. That's just me, my own personal responses to that sort of positivity, and I'd never suggest that others stop relying upon it and putting it in their posts, if it works for them. In the same way, don't assume that relentless positivity is the answer for everyone. A little wryness, a little sternness, and a little sarcasm go a long way for some of us.
Sunshine and unicorns aren't for everyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rachinma
What about rainbows and kittens?
Quote:
Originally Posted by saef
And I ain't changin' my username anytime soon ... not until the day Carter gets on the board to announce she's discovered her Inner Disney Princess & will henceforth only dress in purple, pink & sparkly bedazzled t-shirts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Windchime
No, we would never run you off. We know it's all part of the journey. ;-)
I have so enjoyed reading this thread... especially Carter's "rant" and the comedic relief it inspired.
I'm a libertarian when it comes to forum names - to each their own.
And then I started thinking about mine: it's my horse's name The connotations! Big as a horse, eat like a horse. But she's a slim horse, and beautiful.
The connotations! Big as a horse, eat like a horse. But she's a slim horse, and beautiful.
