[jillybean1974]

Hi. This is the first time I have ever posted here, but have been lurking around for quite few years. This will be long, but I am truly desperate here!! I was a normal weight all through childhood and into my twenties. I played softball in the summer and enjoyed life. I had three wonderful daughters in under three years, but lost the weight quite easily and only weighed 10 pounds more after I had my last daughter than I did when I got married. I will be the first to admit that I started not living a very healthy lifestyle. With three small children, I never had time for anything. I quit ball after an injury, and lived on coffee and smokes for five years. I took care of my girls' needs and after they went to bed, I grabbed some thing to eat then. Nothing all day, eat all night and not the healthy stuff either. I started to gain weight until I ended up around 155. I decided I was done smoking and I was going to lose this weight!! Quitting smoking has been by far, more easily done, than losing weight. First, I kicked the soda and chips to the curb and stopped eating after supper. I made myself healthy breakfast, a lunch with fruits and veggies and a decent supper or meat and veggies. However, I was still gaining weight. Figured it was from quitting smoking. So, I added another 5 pounds to my frame, which is a whopping 5'2. So now I started to count calories. Started out at 1600, then 1500, then 1400 and finally 1200 and still wasn't losing. Started to exercise 5 days a week and bought an elliptical, which I still use frequently. I did this for a few months and joined a weight loss challenge at work. Each week we weighed in and it started to get me down that I wasn't losing anything. They would tell me to work out harder, jog instead of run, until I finally hurt myself. They were still boozing it up on the weekends and having no problem losing weight. So then I joined Weight Watchers! Followed that to a T for four months and I was gaining instead of losing. By this time, I was up to about 168. I was devastated!! So I went to the dr and had tests done on thyroid, etc. Everything came back normal. I was sent to a dietician to help me plan some meals since I am now pre diabetic and I still couldn't lose weight. I gave up for a few months and when I finally got back on the scale, I was up to 178. I cried and cried!! So then I did the extreme diet with ideal protein and I did well, losing 25 pounds, but I stopped losing after 5 months and was tired of paying out the nose and not getting results. I did maintain that for a few months and then my weight crept back up to 160 and has stayed there for about two years. I wear my fit it faithfully and have used my fitness pal forever. I also weighed my food and measured everything. Still no difference. Last year, my friend and I did the wheat belly diet and lost 4 pounds in five months and that was it. My skin looked great though! Exercise does not help!! I did have plantar faciatis that keep me from exercising for almost a year. New orthotics and I was walking last March until August, at least 4-7 miles per day and lost absolutely nothing. I have been strength training using heavy weights and HIIT since the beginning of November 3-4 times a week and not only have I lost no weight, I haven't seemed to have gained any muscle either, though I have more strength. I did measureme to when I started so I know it's not inches either. My diet has been always been very good since I quit smoking. I don't eat a lot of grains or carbs in general. My skin seems to break out if I do. Dairy is also something that I don't consume a lot of. I usually have a protein smoothie in the morning with a low carb protein powder, spinach and unsweetened coconut or almond milk. Lunch is a green salad with lettuce spinach, veggies and sometimes, fruit or nuts. I make a homemade dressing with it and either have chicken, tuna or salmon on the side. Maybe a half a cup of raspberries. Supper again is a protein and veggies, usually steamed. My oils are in my salad dressings. I just went to the dr again. I now have high blood pressure and am taking meds for that now. It's really gotten me down. My thyroid continues to be fine, and she offered a dietician again, but the last one was so condescending, telling me that I need to accept that this will be the weight I am for the rest of my life. I started to cry in her office and she was so rude. I cannot accept it. I have been battling this weight for almost six years and have not been successful yet. I am at a loss. I cry all the time because I HATE how uncomfortable my clothes are, how bloated I look in body and face. I am sick of it. And I get jealous when I see women at work eating junk and still losing weight. Has anyone here ever not been able to lose the weight? Is this my life? I am so sad. I can't seem to help being sad all the time.