[Lunula]

My brother-in-law is the same age as me, born a couple weeks after me (my husband is 4 years younger!) -- we both just turned 40 (ARG!) and having this birthday was a big motivator (health issues, not withstanding) for me to finally get myself together.

Anyway, he is also overweight. Three years ago my mother-in-law took the entire family (her 2 sons and their spouses, along with her husband's 2 kids, along with spouses and 3 small grandkids) to Costa Rica for a week to celebrate her husband's 70th birthday. So, I haven't seen his kids and their families for 3 years.

My mother-in-law is turning 60 this and has planned another week-long adventure for everyone to the British Virgin Islands. I'm SO glad I started getting myself in order earlier this year, as I was 230 lbs last time I saw these people (my highest point ever) and I am currently 185 (and I have 1.5 months before the trip to lose more). I'm hoping I can drop another 10-15 lbs.

I heard last week that my brother-in-law is on a diet, too and instead of feeling happy for him, I was...well...a bit perturbed because I wanted to be the one with the big weight-loss when we went on our trip. Yes, yes, childish and mean...but feelings are feelings. I can't believe that was my first reaction, how evil is this???

[luckymommy]

I don't think it's an evil thing....it's more of a child thing.....not that you're immature AT ALL. The fact is that we all have child-like qualities about us and if someone doesn't then I don't envy them. For me, binge eating is a child like thing....I want what I wand and I want it now!!! I try to control that bratty little child by trying to persuade myself that I"m in charge and not this little child....but I don't always win. I think your reaction was something of the sort where you want to have this big "WOW" moment and now you think he'll steal some of your thunder. I'm sure you wish him well and great success on his journey. Just remember....you can use this trip as a great motivator, but this is a life long journey, so regardless of whether or not you're the biggest loser , you will be a winner at the end if you just stay with your plan. Have a great time! Can I join your family? Hehehehe!

[Lovely]

I don't think it's evil. It's natural. But, there's a way you can turn it around!

When you do see your brother-in-law greet him with just as much enthusiasm as you'd want the rest of your family to greet you. Praise him for his work. Ask him about his methods. He and you have a lot in common now. Not just losing weight, but the effort it takes. The daily vigilance. He's probably the only one there that won't get tired of hearing about weight loss and healthier eating and moving more.

The two of you together could really show the rest of your family what it takes. And who knows? You might even pick up some good idea or specific motivation from him!

[JoJoJo2]

Your feelings are understandable, but Lovely has a great way to handle the situation. Let's keep our family members happy and supportive of each other.

My niece and I both lost weight without knowing the other was on a weight-loss plan. When we met at a family get-together we were both so surprised and happy to see each other. We congratulated each other, we exchanged diet plans - I had lost through the exchange program and she had lost through Weight Watchers. It was difficult for each of us, but we did it! Our visit was great fun.

Don't we want the whole obese population to get themselves healthy? I think we do.

So let's work on it.

[Lunula]

Hehe, thanks, everyone! He and I aren't very close, nor is my husband very close with him, so I think a little competitive (and yes, childish!) streak came through when I heard. I told my husband what I was thinking and he laughed, so I don't feel too bad, it's just odd how that popped into my head like that!

[milmin2043]

Man, your mother-in-law ROCKS!! Wish I was in your family!!

[Sunshine87]

This is a natural feeling. Sometimes I think I want to be thinner than my sister-in-law just to spite her because she thinks so highly of herself for eating so little. It is apart of the childish social games we play. We are all guilty.

[krampus]

Yeah a free trip is awesome!

It's normal to feel threatened/competitive, especially with guys because they lose weight so quickly.

HOWEVER no one cares if guys are fat or thin whereas it seems like a woman's weight is a much bigger deal. So no matter what, you'll probably get more attention for your weight loss.