Suggestions Please! Doing it alone.... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

briters89 · 03-09-2010, 04:44 PM

Ok, I am desperately trying to lose weight, on my own.... No one around me even knows I'm trying to lose weight, because the people I work with would not care, and make fun of me. My husband is very supportive, but I have tried losing weight SO many times, I think it is getting old me telling him. So do you have any tips to stick it out for the entire day? I try so hard to wake up early enough to work out and make a good breakfast, and all that, but it is so hard! I work across town (20 minute drive) at 6:45 am, and get off work and class every night at 6:00pm. I do have breaks in between to go home during the day. Any suggestions to help me stick to a plan would be great. I am sick of this body I have, and need some serious motivation, or tips. I start out eating great, but by 10:00am I fall off the wagon. I can't seem to tell myself NO!

carter · 03-09-2010, 04:52 PM

What are you eating at 10:00 AM that is off your plan? Where is it coming from? Since you know you are going to get hungry at 10:00 AM, try to make sure you have something to eat at 10:00 AM so you don't reach for whatever that off-plan thing is that ruins you every day. Bring an apple or a few slices of cheese or a boiled egg or a measured portion of high-protein cereal or a packet of oatmeal.

petra65 · 03-09-2010, 04:55 PM

Welcome to 3FC briters 89. This is a great forum with lots of great ideas and support. Perhaps you should first come up with an idea about what you want to do about your food plan and figure out the exercise piece second. Any idea what approach what you want to use? Planning your meals and snacks in advance is probably your best defense against "falling off the wagon by 10:00". I pack my lunch and sometimes a snack for work everyday.

briters89 · 03-09-2010, 04:56 PM

My days change significantly every day. I'm in school, and work split shifts, so I never know exactly where I'll be at when. So I do pack lots of healthy snacks, but I always end up walking towards the candy machine, or the snack bar. I can't tell myself no. I CAN, but I seem to temporarily lose all motivation. I told my husband it's his fault because he's too nice to me, and keeps calling me beautiful!

beerab · 03-09-2010, 06:02 PM

You have to decide if you want it badly enough- you have packed healthy snacks- then eat them. Take ZERO change with you so you can't go to the candy machines. No money no candy...

Also- if you don't like the healthy snacks then pick something else healthy.

Another tip is to take one of your days off and cook your meals and freeze them to where all you have to do on the weekdays is pop it in the oven/microwave and warm it up.

I do things like cook a large batch of chicken breasts so they are ready to go during the week. I also pre-prepare salads a few days in advance (not so much now that it's cold). I also make crock pots of soups so I can take portions for lunch each day, and so on. It really helps.

mandalinn82 · 03-09-2010, 06:07 PM

The death knell of any prior plan for me was feeling like I had to eat food I didn't like.

If I didn't like my snack, and the candy sounded tastier, I'd end up going for the candy. Key for me was finding healthy foods that I love to eat and get excited about, so that when compared to the vending machine stuff (or my prior nemesis, fast food dinners), they sounded BETTER. Once I experimented to find healthy foods that excited me, staying on plan was much, much easier.

randomcards · 03-09-2010, 07:02 PM

I also have a very "random" life. Every single day is different, different work schedules, wake-ups/sleep, etc. I used to let this be a huge excuse to both eating right and exercising...."if only I could always work out in the morning...", "if only I could pack a lunch to eat at the same time every day".

I had to realize my life wasn't going to change at this point so I had to turn the excuses into opportunities.

One huge thing for me was never being hungry...I'd rather go 200-300 calories over goal for a day if it meant not being starved b/c that led to the 1000 calorie binges. So it involved a lot of carrying snacks in my bag/car, lots of scouting 2-3 things at a lot of fast food places that are always around just in case I need a little something.

For exercise, I started every night to look at my schedule the next day and how I could find time to get to the gym, which is often at different times. I started keeping 2 full sets of workout clothes in my car so if I ever had unexpected time I wouldn't have an excuse to not go.

Anyway I guess the main point is that it sounds like your key will be to take the things you think of as barriers and turn them into opportunities others don't have.

sotypical · 03-09-2010, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mandalinn82

If I didn't like my snack, and the candy sounded tastier, I'd end up going for the candy. Key for me was finding healthy foods that I love to eat and get excited about, so that when compared to the vending machine stuff (or my prior nemesis, fast food dinners), they sounded BETTER. Once I experimented to find healthy foods that excited me, staying on plan was much, much easier.

Couldn't agree more. Even now I have to be careful and pack a lunch I am going to enjoy or I end up going out.

Another thing that helped me in the beginning was if I ate what I brought and didn't buy anything that wasn't planned - no trips for lunch or to the vending machine, then I would take that $2 I didn't spend and but it aside. It was nice to see the money grow and how much money I was saving too. Before I knew it I would have the money to buy self a new shirt or a pair of jeans, something little to just remind myself to keep going.

I also find it helps if people know you are trying. Then they are more understanding and less likely to invite you to McDonald's or offer you chocolate. Also, I find more people knowing makes it harder for me to fail, but I don't want people to think I can't do it.

It's not easy and I know that now. I have been working on this since 2006, but I am better now then where I started and that is all that matters. Take each day at a time, if you have a good day, pat yourself on the back and don't beat yourself up but take note of where you went wrong.

You can do this!

Primm · 03-10-2010, 02:50 AM

I had to leave my purse at home. Seriously. I packed my lunch, bought a rechargable card for the train, and left my money and all my credit and atm cards at home. Then I don't have the option of buying stuff.

The vending machine on the train station platform calls to me on a daily basis. I'm sure if I had money I'd use it. So I don't.

LovebirdsFlying · 03-10-2010, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by briters89

My days change significantly every day. I'm in school, and work split shifts, so I never know exactly where I'll be at when. So I do pack lots of healthy snacks, but I always end up walking towards the candy machine, or the snack bar. I can't tell myself no. I CAN, but I seem to temporarily lose all motivation. I told my husband it's his fault because he's too nice to me, and keeps calling me beautiful!

Mine tells me the same thing, and often brings food home that isn't good for either of us. We're both diabetic. The difference between him and me is that he can stop at a normal portion and put the rest back for later. Me, if I get started, I can't stop.

I also have trouble telling myself No. I can be thinking all the right thoughts, that this food isn't good for me, that I have other choices I can make, that I've already had all I need, but I still can't seem to keep myself from reaching for it. The only thing I can figure is, it's an addiction. As others have said, if there are healthy foods on hand, and a sugar chocolatey snack also available, what am I going to reach for first? It ain't the healthy food, even if I do like it.

Leaving the money and charge cards at home so that you *can't* buy junk might be a good idea. The suggestion to make sure you pack healthy foods that you LIKE is also good. That takes care of being out. But what about at home, where I'm stuck right now until my vertigo problem clears up?

Maybe I can have hubby hide the junk foods. That way they'll be around when he wants them, but not available to me. Will I then turn the house upside down looking for a chocolate bar? We'll see.

EDIT: Oh, I forgot to address "beautiful."

Just because you are beautiful doesn't mean you don't need to work on something, and just because you may need to lose weight doesn't mean you aren't beautiful the way you are. Your husband is telling you the truth. Mine is telling me the truth. We are both beautiful. And because we are beautiful, we deserve to do nice things for ourselves and keep our bodies healthy. We don't deserve junk. We deserve God's own naturally made foods. We deserve the best, the healthiest, the happiest. And are we feeling at our best when we're sick after a sugar high? I'm not. Are we healthy? I'm not. Are we happy? Could be happier.

So "you're beautiful" and "work on your weight" are not mutually exclusive.

jigglefree · 03-10-2010, 05:40 AM

You know everything everyone has told you is good info. If you know your schedule before you go to bed then you have to plan your day before you lay your head on the pillow. In order to be successful you have to stick to whatever plan you put in place. You can do this but you have to want it really bad.

I used to say I wanted to lose weight but because my husband was always telling me that and making me feel all wonderful and I didn't have any health issues, I figured I was ok. I had a beautiful daughter when I was overweight and the dr told me I may not. Everything "they" said you couldn't have as an overweight person didn't apply to me. Well "I" had a moment of clarity and KNEW I needed to do something. No matter what anyone else said about me I had to do it for me. I said that to say this, if you want it you go after it as if it's all you have left. Keep an attitude of I can instead of what if I fail. YOU CAN DO IT!!! My husband is really getting excited about me now that I've lost weight. He doesn't pressure me but I can tell he is enjoying me as I get even more healthy.

Joan · 03-10-2010, 08:09 AM

Okay....a week ago, I was ExACTLY where you are....bloated, disgusted, miserable, fed up with this weight I suddenly piled on and have been carrying for the past two years.

I've just finished one week of commitment to a healthy diet, and already I feel like a new person. All I can say is, what a difference a week makes. I'm so determined now. This time it's really going to happen, I can (ahem) TASTE it.

SO--I totally understand about the first few days. To be honest, I had just finished reading a book about drug addiction, in which the protagonist said prayers of thanks every time he resisted the urge to use drugs. I sort of adapted that for my own eating purposes for a few days, and it truly helped. Don't know if sort of "higher power" approach would work for you, but just offering it up.

The really great thing that has helped me is fitday.com. Another member here mentioned it, and it really has helped me understand what I need to do. It's fun, too. Check it out.

As far as doing this alone? Me too. Apart from this site, I almost don't want to share this effort with anyone. I just want to drop the weight and pretend the last two years never happened. I've been practically hiding in shame all that time anyway. I almost dread the inevitable, embarrassing "omg, you lost weight" exclamations--but at least now I KNOW I'm going to get them! :-)

Lori Bell · 03-10-2010, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joan

As far as doing this alone? Me too. Apart from this site, I almost don't want to share this effort with anyone. I just want to drop the weight and pretend the last two years never happened. I've been practically hiding in shame all that time anyway. I almost dread the inevitable, embarrassing "omg, you lost weight" exclamations--but at least now I KNOW I'm going to get them! :-)

At first I thought I would feel funny about this too. But then I realize, I much rather get the "you lost weight" comment to my face than the ongoing gossip and judgemental criticism about my massive weight gain BEHIND my back. Anyone who noticed the gain was talking about it...I guarantee you they were. Overhearing a few fat comments for me was way worse than the kinder praise. Now, I don't really care what anyone thinks about me, (except for my kids and husband.) I'm tired of being the topic of discussion, and so I choose to ignore most people.

To the OP...If you continue to worry about what other people think, you will never succeed in weight loss. NEVER. If you worry about the terrible things you are doing to your body instead of what the people at work think, (who cares what they think!!!) you'll be a lot better off. I promise. I guess I don't understand why anyone would make fun of a person trying to get healthy...shows you just how immature they are and not worthy of your time.

Joan · 03-10-2010, 10:50 AM

Very true, Lori. It really does not matter what others think. I was just being honest about my own feelings of embarrassment and isolation. My weight gain was so fast and so "unlike" me that I know it must have caused talk.

Anyway, I for one look forward to getting back to a normal, healthy weight for ALL the wonderful reasons there are!

randomcards · 03-10-2010, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joan

As far as doing this alone? Me too. Apart from this site, I almost don't want to share this effort with anyone. I just want to drop the weight and pretend the last two years never happened. I've been practically hiding in shame all that time anyway. I almost dread the inevitable, embarrassing "omg, you lost weight" exclamations--but at least now I KNOW I'm going to get them! :-)

This is very hard for me too, I've gotten a lot of well-intentioned compliments in the last couple of weeks, and I struggle with responding. Seems awkward and embarassing.

I've been just doing a very quick "thanks" and changing the subject. That's just me though, I don't really like to talk about it. Especially when the comment comes from an overweight friend, I really have no idea what to say.