[mkendrick]

Thanks guys...I actually did dab my pizza with a paper napkin...I can imagine it saved at least half a teaspoon or so of grease!

And no, I generally don't let people dictate what I eat either. I had a turkey salad for Thanksgiving despite everyone trying to force feed me! But I also think it's fair to allow myself an occasional treat. I have been dieting since October...I have not had a single hugely off plan meal in that whole time. I had it, I enjoyed it, now it's time to keep on keeping on with progress

[nelie]

I'm not against treats but I do treats on my own terms. Also you would be surprised how good a cheeseless veggie pizza is I can understand planning for an evening out but sometimes for work things are unplanned or there are multiple days of events, then I make sure that I can 'splurge' one day but not every day. I also don't like other people's ideas of treats. Like I never liked greasy pizza even when I did eat cheese and if someone expected me to eat it, I'd be pretty unhappy about it.

[Shytowngal]

I love the comment about not letting others dictate what you eat. I really need to get that through my head! It is strange how others can be so judgemental about what I eat, guilting me in to eating unheathy? So strange.

[nelie]

As a vegan, I think it is easier for me in some ways. I mean there are certain things I just won't eat. I don't enjoy them and there is nothing you could say to me to get me to eat them.

I also think the best part about being with friends, family, etc is that you are with friends, family, etc! I mean who cares what you eat or what they eat as long as you are enjoying yourself with them?

The same thing goes for drinking. I don't drink except maybe once a year and I was at a family party a few years ago and one of my cousins was harassing me about it. I just told him I didn't feel like drinking and he left me alone. Other than my cousin that one time, I've never had someone bother me for not drinking.

[Shmead]

Originally Posted by Shytowngal

I love the comment about not letting others dictate what you eat. I really need to get that through my head! It is strange how others can be so judgemental about what I eat, guilting me in to eating unheathy? So strange.

I didn't realize how much of this was self-imposed until I took the leap and started to change my public habits. I think when one is overweight and hates themselves/their life but before you start taking really effective positive steps, "food" becomes this huge emotional quagmire. Nothing attached to food is simple or casual because food is both a source of pleasure/comfort and a source of guilt and shame. It took me a long time to realize that most people really didn't care one way or the other what I ate, and that as long as I didn't come across as judgmental or whiny, they didn't even notice. For me, everything to do with food is written with Capital Letters: if I order a salad, it feels like I am Ordering A Salad; if I turn down a bagel, it feels like I am Turning Down a Bagel, making some sort of huge statement. Turns out that isn't true for most people.

The biggest problem is when you have "mutual eating pacts"--when your friend won't eat dessert unless you do, and you won't eat dessert unless she does, and then you can both have dessert and not feel bad about it because you didn't really want to, you did it to be nice. Except your butt doesn't care why you did it, it's just calories. When you have this sort of eating pact, people will nag you/pressure you to eat, but they think that you want them to, deep down inside. If you have this sort of relationship with anyone, you really have to talk about it at a time when you aren't out to eat, and you have to make sure they understand you really mean it.

Again, I am not saying there's anything wrong with splurging when you want to. But, IMHO, splurges made out of a sense of social obligation aren't worth the calories most of the time.