[CapriPants]

ok, i need help finding my endorphins. they have left my body and they wont come back home.... i have a very happy job, i laugh all day long, very happy person, until i go home and its like this crazy person comes out and she wont leave... saying mean things to me and wont let me just be happy with who i am... i have see a shrink and she doens't think its bipolar or anything like that. i really think it has to do with my weight and how much my body hurts.... and what i cant fit into. i dont like to shop anymore.... and i try to get motivated but i just cant and i dont understand... please dont tell me its all in my head, and the only person that can make me is me... i already know this. im not stupid, just frusterated! i just dont know where to find that person inside of me.... the one that stops saying tomorrow and starts saying today..... please help...........

[Gracie789]

Wow, you sound just like me. I've had issues with depression/self-esteem for ages. Like you I was in therapy (even tried medicine for 2 years). I was happy around others, but when I was alone the 'bad' thoughts tended to take over. It was so incredibly hard dealing with all those issues. I'm still dealing with all that stuff, but it has gotten exponentially better since I started getting healthy.

For me, most of my issues centered around my weight. I disliked myself for being so 'fat' but at the same time I was using my weight as a security-blanket. Again, once the weight started coming off, I've been able to manage my issues so much better and I'm much happier with myself than I've been in years.

I wish I could give you a magic answer to help jump start your journey, but it's different for everyone. Just know that you are not alone. There are so many people out there dealing with similar issues, and lots more that have overcome. Keep talking about what you're going through. I've found this forum a huge motivation because of the support and knowledge that others understand what I'm going through. Stay strong!

[CapriPants]

Gracie... thats exactly what i needed to hear! or should i say read!! lol

I just need to find this little person inside and make her scream for me to start.... but i really dont know where she is........

How did you do it? what was your breaking point? how have you kept it?

Thank you for your help..... it really did help!

[Justwant2Bhealthy]

CAPRI ~ I think it starts with one tiny baby step: one after the other -- that adds up to a good day; then one good day plus another equals a good week, and so on ...

First, you need a PLAN: write it down; what you are going to do and eat tomorrow; include exercise and activities. Then get your journal and calendar out, and tick them off one by one; these accomplishements each day will make you feel good about yourself.

Second, write down a page of positive affirmations about yourself; you know and I know that you have many good qualities -- whenever the neggies come a knockin' ... counteract them with your positive statements; and read them OUT LOUD! Keep doing this until you believe them; that may take months, but it doesn't matter how long -- until what you see catches up with them. ie I am a good person; kind person; fair person; gifted person; artistic; smart; successful; and so on ... YOU ARE MORE THAN THE SUM OF YOUR WEIGHT!!!

Third, use the power of distraction: Journal your thoughts; listen to positive music; watch positive shows; read a positive book; go for a walk; clean your house; sing a song, phone somebody, etc. Keep busy and come here; this is a great place to get your mind focused on something else; especially your new journey towards healthy living ...

This is just a start; and these are just tools, but they can get you where you want to be ... you can do this!

[CapriPants]

how did i get so lucky with such great advice... thank you. thank you so much... i really love yall's inspiring thoughts..

[stargzr]

I'm right there with you and gracie... I've had self-image and self-esteem issues for some time now. It's like I never liked myself enough to change and lose the weight. I always thought that some day I would start, but when I would, it would be ending just as fast. My "breaking point" (if you will) came as a series. I had so many along the way and finally I had enough. I didn't want to go shopping and not want to try anything on. I didn't want to have to buy new jeans because my only pair were ripping holes in between my legs. I didn't want to look at every picture I was in and immediately focus on how 'fat' I was. I wanted to be that happy person all the time and not just around other people. I was tired of being who I'd become... I changed things then and while I'd like to say I'm 100% better now, I'm not. I can guarantee that I feel SO MUCH better about myself than I used to, maybe put me at 60% better. I know that it was all about my weight. I look forward to reaching goal and I know that my self-image won't be fixed overnight... but it gets better every day, just because I started doing something for myself and working on what I didn't like about me.
You can do this and you will! You've already started coming here, which shows you have a desire to change. You just need to remind yourself that you're worth it. You're worth being happy about yourself.

[MisfitRycher]

There isn't much I can say that hasn't already been said...

But I'll agree with the positive imagining. Focus on your good qualities and use them to motivate you throughout the day. And if you ever start feeling down, remember this.

"I am beautiful, I am brilliant, I am worth it."

You don't have to do it alone. We're here to help you.

[CapriPants]

i like this group! a lot!

i was just thinking, what did you do to get endorphins?
how did you start?