[ruby2sday]

Everyone has great suggestions, just wondered about your comment about you not wanting to be "rude". You need to do what is right for you and what you can be happy with. I think for many of us "not wanting to be rude" is one of the reasons we put the weight on (not the only one though). You go somewhere where someone has prepared a bunch of food, and you eat because you don't want to be rude. Someone brings you a bit of dessert, and you eat it because you don't want to hurt their feelings or be rude.

You are very lucky to have so many caring people that want to make your birthday special, but it is your day. You have all kinds of options for staying OP and still enjoy your day. I'm sure if you open up to them and tell them how important it is for you to stay OP, they will go out of their way to help you with it. As many have said, food seems to be such a big part of celebrations, but we still have choices. You will eat what you choose to eat, but please don't feel bad or that you're being rude if you turn something down or prefer to not go to the ice cream place. Think about what you want.

I hope you are able to not stress too much about it and have a wonderful day. You deserve it !

[Tomato]

And why on Earth would you want to eat salad with no salad dressing?!? What kind of fun is that? That must be rather unappealing and I would get sick of it pretty quickly.
Why not have some of the ribs WITH your salad? Maybe you can forgo the dressing this time if you so desire since the ribs will have some stuff on them for sure. But remember, you don't have to eat only chicken breast and white fish for the rest of your life.
Go with your sisters whereever they are inviting and if it comes to going to the frozen custard place, tell your sis you don't want to go. If she insists, let her go for her frozen custard alone and you go to another place (a cafe perhaps) and treat yourself to frozen capuccino or whatever you think you can have.

[CamiToo]

Thank you to everyone who replied. I'm not so stressed now, it was just piling up into not one, but THREE days of "celebration", which was making me a little upset.

Just to clarify something, I don't limit my food to boring choices. I LOVE fresh fruit and can't get enough black coffee so that would be a perfect diner meal, knowing I'll get the rest of my nutrients at home with my own cooking. My plan of a salad with no dressing for lunch#2 is because I'm sure I'll forget to take my own reduced calorie dressing, but this isn't a regular habit (anymore) to eat in restaurants TWICE in one week either. So if I make that choice, I'll enjoy her company rather than fretting about the restaurant food.

My roomie is another story. He believes if a meal doesn't have 100,000 calories per mouthful it's not worth eating, so we RARELY share a meal. The meal he'll make is LIKELY to be a mountain of babyback ribs slathered in tons of BBQ sauce, corn on the cob, baked potato and either angelfood cake smothered in Grand Marnier sauce or butterscotch meringue pie. That's assuming he doesn't make appetizers. And then there'd be multiple double bourbon old fashioneds before dinner and a bottle of wine from his wine cellar with dinner. ...
I rarely eat corn but that's the only veggie he seems to make. I PREFER veggies naked. But I prefer brussel sprouts, broccoli, cauliflower, beets, carrots, green beans, etc over corn. Sometimes I spice my veggies up a bit, I was just saying I'd probably nuke myself some naked broccoli rather than eat the majority of the meal this man would make! (Of course I'd use my reduced calorie dressing on a salad since I'd be at home with easy access to it.) And that would be day# 3 of eating food I didn't prepare, which again, is why I was stressing.

I think I'll just go with my restaurant ideas, have a scoop of ice cream and leave half of it so I don't suck the joy out of the excursion for my sister and eat extremely sparingly of the meal my roomie makes.

But you're all correct ... I'm blessed to have people who care enough about me to fuss over my birthday and I thank each and every person here who reminded my grumpy self of that.

[kiramira]

Hon! I feel your pain. Just keep in mind that you MAY have had birthdays in the past that were food-centric. And your friends and family are following in that pattern because that is what it has always been.

I appreciate the path that you've chosen. It sounds, though, on the bigger picture, that it might be helpful to share with those around you that while you appreciate their thoughts and what they want to cook for you, you might prefer to focus on non-food-related activities in the future.

And there is NO harm in having some yummy goodness on your birthday -- you just need to figure out HOW you are going to handle ALL of these celebrations in the future consistently. Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming. You'll have another birthday. So this is MORE than just about this birthday. You might want to define for yourself some celebration rules and work them, and tell those in your life that this is what you want to do. And provide alternatives too, so you aren't shutting your friends and family out of your life because of food. Like "it's July 1st! Come over for a BBQ", means "sure! sounds great! I'm bringing a veggie tray!" Or at your next birthday "thanks! I appreciate you wanting to make me a special meal. But it would be super if we could go to a movie instead -- your treat!!!"

You gotta figure it out now if you want to live it for the rest of your life...


Just a thought!

Kira

[MoragMunch]

Great ideas, here, and I agree that you should just enjoy the day with your loved ones.

One thing I do if I know I am going to a birthday party or some other even with foods that I know will put me over limit, two days before I lower my calorie amount - that way it helps to offset that one day of splurging.