Well, he's outside doing his pennance...yard work. So I think he will be better.

Its funny how relationships are.Huh?I will say this much.I have been with my DH for 23 years(I was 16).We have had arguments, of course.We have been through a lot together.But through all that, he has never said anything to me that made me feel bad about myself like that.It is not how you treat someone you love.Maybe it is because he knows I would not put up with it.I dont know for sure.Or maybe I am luckier than I think??Take care Jen.

Boys are jerks. And boys lie, oh they lie. I'm sure he is exaggerating a bit. I'd put money on it. Unless he's Brad Pitt.

luvja..lol..they LIEEEEEEEEE!

Harris, I know there are lots of men out there who would never say things like he says to me sometimes. BUT, there are lots of men out there who do not have the qualities he has. Like how he helps our elderly neighbors by caring for their lawns without being paid. Or how he drops everything to go help a stranger as a volunteer firefighter. Or how he likes to feed the neighborhood strays. Or how he pretends his name is weasel and talks in a squeaky voice and makes me laugh.HE says things that get him in trouble a lot. He does not act on any of it. It's his GOOD heart coupled with his bad boy ways that attract me to him I guess. Perfect combination of tough and sensitive.

Most of the time he is telling me how hot and sexy I am and what a great cook and good mom I am--so for the most part he makes me feel good.

Hey hon, you did amazing!

You didn't self-sabotage and take your anger out on yourself.

You let him sober up and then you confronted the problem.

And it sounds like you are evaluating your situation (we ALL do this!)..

GOOD ON YOU!!!

Kira

Thanks Kira! I needed that.

Glad to hear things are simmering down and really glad to hear you'll try to disengage if it happens again. I'll try not to call him names for a while. ;) You're doing great!

Peg

What a jerk! Don't let him have control over your feelings like that. He should be WORKING HARD to make & KEEP you happy.. I hope everything works out and hope you get to feeling better.

XO, B

You know all relationships have their good and bad. Your SO does sound like he has some wonderful qualities, but he also has some really pathetic and immature qualities. I think people can grow-up and change their thoughtless ways, but sometimes they don't. Remember, we teach people how to treat us and sometimes we have to get tough and live our lives for ourselves.

I was married to someone who had great qualities, but constantly would verbally abuse me. I lasted 18 years and my soul was almost destroyed. I have since met a man who does nothing but lift me up and believe in me. You deserve to be treated as a precious and valuable gift. :hug:

I'm glad you're feeling better today and I'm proud of you that you didn't allow this episode to defeat your goals! That is awesome! WTG!~

His behavior, however, does sound like a classic verbal cycle of abuse to me, though. I think it's great that he also has so many admirable qualities, but you MUST draw the line on that behavior. Simply DO NOT ACCEPT it. Being kind to the elderly and animals is great, but YOU deserve his respect and kindness as well. A truly loving man wouldn't DENY saying hurtful things, he would own his words and show true remorse. Maybe in a day or two, you could sit down and talk with him. Discuss your health and fitness efforts and reiterate that you are trying to improve the quality of YOUR life and part of a healthy lifestyle is not allowing people to dump garbage and bad feelings upon you. If there is a *chance* he is unaware of the hurt he caused, he won't do it again. If he does.....well, then at least you KNOW.

But we all face negative events in our lives and, on the diet front, you kicked ***! :) Way to stay tough!

Hang in there sweetie...but if it becomes a pattern...get the heck out! Us guys can be jerks...especially when drunk...

once...forget about it...

twice...don't forget about it for a loong time...

3 times...color yourself gone!

I'm just wondering if he's maybe starting to get a little insecure because you're getting slim, trim and hot? Maybe he's saying this sort of stuff hoping you'll stop losing weight.

I know my hubby sometimes gets a little nervous about me losing weight. I guess he thinks I'm going to lose weight and find a better model or something, please!! Like I really want to start over again at the beginning, not likely! God forbid, something ever happens to him, I will find myself a boy toy that I can use and send home when I'm done, I DO NOT want to start over!

At any rate, he may be trying to convince you that everyone wants him because he's worried that you're going to lose weight and find someone better. If not, then he really was an a** and he should really kiss yours to make up for those remarks!

Yeah, just remember, he owes *you* all that nice treatment before he owes it to all the neighborhood. His charity work doesn't constitute a relationship ;)

Originally Posted by melwolfe:
I'm just wondering if he's maybe starting to get a little insecure because you're getting slim, trim and hot? Maybe he's saying this sort of stuff hoping you'll stop losing weight.

I know my hubby sometimes gets a little nervous about me losing weight. I guess he thinks I'm going to lose weight and find a better model or something, please!! Like I really want to start over again at the beginning, not likely! God forbid, something ever happens to him, I will find myself a boy toy that I can use and send home when I'm done, I DO NOT want to start over!

At any rate, he may be trying to convince you that everyone wants him because he's worried that you're going to lose weight and find someone better. If not, then he really was an a** and he should really kiss yours to make up for those remarks!

I've been seeing a lot of women on here talk about this. That their men think they will "Get attractive" and be able to 'find someone better'.

That is kind of insulting to me. Like if my bf thought that me losing weight was the only way I could find someone better!? I mean COME ON (*Note* I can not find anyone better, after 14+ years, there just is no one better ;) ...we are just as valuable and can find any great man/woman at whatever weight, and I would be insulted if my bf thought that I was so .....unimpressive, that I had to 'settle' for him.

pffft!

drives me batty. :dizzy:

Jen-hope you are right.Heck,maybe my dh thinks those things all of the time but just knows better than to verbalize them.He is always telling people....you DO NOT want to cross my wife!!I would take his sorry *** to the cleaners..but hey we all have to set our own rules.And I do understand that.Good luck!