chic! I would be asking for an explanation. Also I was in A SIMILAR situation. I could have hid my face (because of the past tension between SO's parents and I) but I agree you just have to step out and say "Hey, I'm here! Nice to meet you".I was terrified--the first day we met! omg, it was scary and I felt so bad. But, you know what things change! You will forgive yourself for lying. BF already has. His parents WILL warm up to you.
Hugs for now darling. You go get that weight scale! Because you deserve it!
SnowWolf - You are right, I am strong enough. Sometimes it is hard to see it in yourself so thank you
aphimira - You are so sweet. God bless you and thank you for helping keep me sane today
JulieJ08 -
Quote:
Next chance, go OUTSIDE! Just walk right out, put out your hand, and say, "Hi Mr. XYZ, I'm Chunkychic. I am so happy to finally meet you!"
That made me smile, thank you.
midwife - Your words ring true to an extent and I thank you for them. As for the reasoning behind my meager wardrobe - I myself do not feel the need to buy a lot of clothes when I am still losing. It is a waste of money to me, not my boyfriend. And I am sure when he said he can pay for everything, he meant our necessities and not that he is rich, cause he ain't .
p7eggyc - His response to my questions of why or when is "I'll think about it." or "I'm not sure yet.". If I try to push the issue, he winds up aggravated so I just shut up :|.
Shannon in ATL - Thank you. You are always so positive and uplifting to everyone
Niecy - You've once again, touched my heart. Thank you. The people on this forum, you included, always can make people feel better. You are appreciated here much more than you probably realize
HungryHungrHippo - I am not sure. I just wish it would all happen and be done with already. Thank you so much
beerab - His dad came by to get a check from my boyfriend. My boyfriend went outside when he saw his dad pull in the driveway. I am not sure why I didn't go out, I reckon I was thinking if my boyfriend wanted me to meet his dad, he would bring him inside . Thank you so much. I will think more of how they are feeling too
DCHound - You are amazing and you've made me smile as well. Priceless to me, especially today. Thank you
EveLHaelf - Thank you. I know deep down you are right. I am trying to get in that mindset, it ain't easy
Jennifer - It is good to know I am not the only one who has felt afraid to meet people. Thanks for always supporting and encouraging me
Now as to what else has happened -
I did go buy the food scale. I did buy a new battery for my weight scale. I did buy new measuring spoons. I did not buy any junkie fried crap nor did I break anything. I did not talk to my boyfriend about how I am feeling because he tends to get frustrated easily about the subject and I guess I am not wanting to cause an argument when I am in a poor emotional state. I suck sometimes
oh chic..sweetie..you don't suck. I would just bring it up when he decides he feels like talking again. I'm one of those people who TRIES WITH ALL THEIR MIGHT to keep the peace. I learned a while back, I was sacrificing myself way too much...and it was not healthy. Now if SO and I are having a fight...if we talk about anything I say "you remember this or that? It really hurt me. I did not feel good when this happened. I'm upset".
I let SO respond. Usually because I talk in a soft tone, he responds with sympathy and usually says sorry. Sometimes he doesn't even know the dumb thing he has done!
yay! For the food scale and Yay that you did not stuff your face with meaningless junk!
I know it’s so easy to go back to eating yucky bad things when you feel awful, but I know you can overcome that urge.
Try to look at the positives. One of them is that you have so many friends here that care about you.
Maybe you could go on a walk to clear your mind, or do a little kick boxing to get that frustration out because this situation sounds very frustrating!
I just hope things get better for you!!!
Kat
__________________________________________________ ____________ Mini Goals:
1). This week lose 1.5 pounds & eat fewer carbs!
2). Weigh 169.9 on August 29th.
3). August 29th Hike Mt. Timp to the top!
Thank you again, Jennifer. Maybe I tend to get too emotional and probably dramatic (stems from my borderline personality disorder). Plus, because of the bpd, I tend to take everything to heart and too personally, ya know? And I do not, I repeat do not, know how to have a civilized discussion, especially when I am already upset and hurt. I will try to take a different approach once I am more calm and feel I can follow through on it without going psycho :|
SweetTink - I know I need to vent my frustrations in a less destructive way. Most times I let my emotions carry out actions and I don't stop and think. Thank you
Wow, I am way late jumping on this bandwagon but I need to give you this I am so sorry that you were feeling sad about what happened. Everyone here gave you great advice & I hope you remember how wonderful you are & what an inspiration you've become to this whole forum. You are beautiful, inside & out. Say it, learn it, live it. xoxo
I'm really feeling for you right now, and believe me, I understand... BUT I also wanna come over there and kick your butt !!
You are probably one of the people I see the most here.. one of the most positive, most uplifting, most inspirational, most motivating, friendliest, encouraging people around.
What would you tell someone in this situation? If someone else were going through this, you would be right here telling them how strong and powerful and important they are, and that they can get through this. Maybe you would tell them how beautiful inside and out they are, and they need to realize it and not let others drag them down.
I want you to see all these things for yourself. I want you to take all that positive good advice you always have for everyone else that is down, and tell it to you.
You are definitely not in an easy situation. And as was mentioned, one of the first things I thought was maybe they feel awkward because you have not wanted to meet them in 6 years. Maybe they feel you don't want to know them, and are trying to respect that. I really think there are things you need to talk about with your bf, but I honestly don't think any of this is about you or your weight. There could be any number of reasons.
You are an amazing person Michelle. You have overcome a lot, and worked damn hard to get yourself healthy and lose the weight that you have. Please know that we are all here for you, and we are all cheering for you. I know you will get things worked out, and I know you will get through all this with your head held high, and getting the happiness you deserve.
Too many times I have let that darn inner voice get me down and control my world and life. I lost one of my best friends due to it, and I am determined to silence it. I read somewhere once that we need to talk to ourselves like we would a best friend. We would never talk to a best friend the way we talk to ourselves. Now, I want you to tell yourself all the positive things, just like you would a best friend, or someone here.
You are probably one of the people I see the most here.. one of the most positive, most uplifting, most inspirational, most motivating, friendliest, encouraging people around.
Quote:
You are an amazing person Michelle. You have overcome a lot, and worked damn hard to get yourself healthy and lose the weight that you have. Please know that we are all here for you, and we are all cheering for you. I know you will get things worked out, and I know you will get through all this with your head held high, and getting the happiness you deserve.
Thank you so very much. That means so much to me .
Quote:
We would never talk to a best friend the way we talk to ourselves. Now, I want you to tell yourself all the positive things, just like you would a best friend, or someone here.
You are right and I know it. It is just easier most times to support others rather than myself :|
Last edited by Onederchic; 07-27-2009 at 08:29 PM.
I'm going to take a different approach from others. So what if it was you? What if the reason he didn't come inside is because he just doesn't want to meet you, can't stand the thought of you? What does that mean?
Your boyfriend will break up with you? Has he yet?
You're a bad person? What, based on the perceptions of someone who hasn't even bothered to get to know you?
You can never be happy? What gives this guy the right to influence YOUR happiness?
As someone who used to try very hard to please everyone, I can tell you that there are going to people who don't like you, no matter what you do or how you look. That's on them. But is it right to assume that they don't like you? That doesn't seem like it helps you or them.
If you're really ready to meet his father, maybe you could simply tell him that you thought that he was going to bring his father in and were disappointed that he didn't, but can you plan a time to meet? Don't have to get on his case or anything if you don't want to be confrontational or worry that your emotions are too charged.
Sweetie, I know what it's like to have that ache inside and just want to talk it out and make everything right with your SO, and to desperately try to keep the peace! Everyone needs a cooling down session, but once the emotions are under control a talk needs to happen for things to get set straight and to ease your mind (and maybe his as well?) I'm one of those people who always want to talk it out and make everything right immediately and my hubby needs a calming down period, and if I don't give it to him he tends to freak so I learned that the hard way
A communication tip my friend gave me was whenever you want to have a talk with your b/f try getting in a lower position than him (like if he's sitting on the couch, sit on the floor, or if he is standing you sit down etc.) This will make it so that he doesn't feel 'threatened' or like you are confronting him. It has worked like a charm for me! Maybe it will help you as well? I really hope that this whole situation gets worked out for you!
I haven't been here long at all, but I know for certain that you are an exceptionally beautiful woman!
Why deny your BF's family the honor of meeting you? Now is that fair?? ;-)
I just want to give you a big ole hug....****SQUEEZE**** There you go. I am proud of you for dealing with your emotions in a positive way. When you feel up to it, most definitely have a talk with your BF. He should know how you feel about this.
Do you think it could be that your boyfriend doesn't know you are now ready to meet his family? You said he promised you didn't have to meet them until you were comfortable. Does he know you are comfortable? Could he have just been protecting you based on your original agreement?
No matter how upsetting this is (and I think you have the right to be upset), you can't take this out on yourself, which is what you would be doing if you give into the urge to eat. The urge to eat will pass and when it does, you will be so glad you didn't turn to food to comfort.
. 
. Thank you so much. I will think more of how they are feeling too 
My poor girl!
