[Starrynight]

Yeah my boyfriend used to be like that, well minus bringing back food I didn't want.. When I met him he was muscular and thin, and I was at my highest weight. He always told me he loved me the way I was and he loved my body as it was. When I made it clear to him how badly I felt about my weight and though I was happy about how he felt, I needed to do this for me, however, he started becoming more supportive and encouraging. The other good thing is, he hasn't become like this crazy, food-monitoring boyfriend either, he lets me do my own thing and listens to my rants/joys about dieting/weight loss.

So I think if you point out how much it means to you and how deeply and strongly you feel about losing weight, not for him nor anyone else, but for you, he might understand better and support you!

I've gone down to my lowest, 141, and my boyfriend's views have always stayed consistent with how he feels about me, and now he keeps telling me not to get too skinny and lose all my curves (which I don't plan on doing anyway).

Guys definitely do get insecure though.. My boyfriend already thinks I'm beautiful and he admitted that he was worried that once I got down to a low weight, I would realize I could do better.. so maybe he honestly feels a bit insecure, even if he is in shape and all, it could just be something he feels with you. Just have a heart-to-heart and I'm sure if he loves and cares about you, he will understand.

[HungryHungryHippo]

Sometimes I enjoy bad food vicariously through my husband. Maybe that's what he's doing with the junk food.

[kaplods]

Some men are attracted to a wide range of body shapes and sizes, and others have a very narrow preference. How important that preference is to your partner, is something you should know. Talking about it frankly is the only way to find out.

For example, I know that my husband is attracted to women of many sizes, but isn't attracted to curveless women. There's not much chance of my ever becoming waif-thin with no bosom, so I'm lucky in that regard.

I knew a woman, sister to a close friend in college whose husband left her after she lost 150 lbs, because he was only attracted to obese women. It isn't all that different from men who leave women after they gain weight.

I'm not saying that all or even many men do this. I think most men, and most women too are able to stretch their preferences to include the person they love, even when the person is no longer (or perhaps never was) their physical ideal. If you're generically not attracted to bald men, it doesn't mean that you will stop being attracted to your husband if he loses his hair. And if your husband is more attracted to "fluffy" women, it doesn't mean he will stop being attracted to you as you de-fluff (by the way, I hate the term fluffy, I prefer almost any term including fat, obese, morbidly obese, or even oh-my-god-you're-gigantically-humongously-fat).

I think you need to talk to your bf about why he doesn't want you to lose weight (or says you don't need to). Is he just trying to be I-love-you-no-matter-what supportive, or does he have an ulterior motive and if so, what that is. Discuss specific ways he CAN support you, as well as specific behaviors you want him to change (I don't want you to bring food home for me, unless it's on this list - and hand him a list).

I really do recommend the list. I've had to do that with my husband. He loves to surprise me with little treats, so now instead of Godiva or Neuhaus chocolates or a piece of cheesecake, he'll surprise me with exotic fruits or other treats that I have pre-approved. I knew he finally "got it," when he surprised me with a package of haricot verts (a very thin gourmet green bean).